Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your being here, and hath threatened to put me into everlasting 25 liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears he'll turn me away.

Mrs Page. Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. I 'll go hide me.

Mrs Ford. Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. 30 [Exit Robin.] Mistress Page, remember you your cue.

Mrs Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit.

Mrs Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays. 35

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. 'Have I caught' thee, 'my heavenly jewel?' Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!

Mrs Ford. O sweet Sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, 40 Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the best lord; I would make thee my lady.

Mrs Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady! 45

Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.

Mrs Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become 50 nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe 55 were not, Nature thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

Mrs Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.

Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these 60 lisping hawthorn-buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple time; I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it.

Mrs Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page. 65

Fal. Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it. 70

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

Mrs Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [Within] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! here's Mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and 75 looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman. [Falstaff hides himself. 80

Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN.

What's the matter? how now!

Mrs Page. O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, you're overthrown, you're undone for ever!

Mrs Ford. What's the matter, good Mistress Page?

Mrs Page. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an 85 honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Mrs Ford. What cause of suspicion?

Mrs Page. What cause of suspicion! Out upon you! how am I mistook in you! 90

Mrs Ford. Why, alas, what's the matter?

Mrs Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that he says is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone. 95

Mrs Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here! but 'tis most certain your husband's coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, 100 why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs Ford. What shall I do? There is a gentleman 105 my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the house.

Mrs Page. For shame! never stand 'you had rather' and 'you had rather:' your husband's here at hand; bethink 110 you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: or,—it is whiting-time,—send him by your two 115 men to Datchet-mead.

Mrs Ford. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?

Fal. [Coming forward] Let me see't, let me see't, O, let me see't!—I'll in, I'll in. —Follow your friend's 120 counsel. —I'll in.

Mrs Page. What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee. —Help me away. —Let me creep in here. —I'll never— 125

[Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen.

Mrs Page. Help to cover your master, boy. —Call your men, Mistress Ford. —You dissembling knight!

Mrs Ford. What, John! Robert! John! [Exit Robin.

Re-enter Servants.

Go take up these clothes here quickly. —Where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble!—Carry them to the laundress 130 in Datchet-mead; quickly, come.

Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest; I deserve it. —How now! whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. 135

Mrs Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing.

Ford. Buck!—I would I could wash myself of the buck!—Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear.

[Exeunt Servants with the basket.] 140

Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers; search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first. [Locking the door.] So, now uncape. 145

Page. Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit.

Evans. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies. 150

Caius. By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt Page, Caius, and Evans.

Mrs Page. Is there not a double excellency in this? 155

Mrs Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.

Mrs Page. What a taking was he in when your husband asked who was in the basket!

Mrs Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; 160 so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress.

Mrs Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross 165 in his jealousy till now.

Mrs Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress 170 Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to-morrow, eight o'clock, to have amends. 175

Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass.

Mrs Page. [Aside to Mrs Ford] Heard you that?

Mrs Ford. You use me well, Master Ford, do you?

Ford. Ay, I do so. 180

Mrs Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

Ford. Amen!

Mrs Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it. 185

Evans. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgement!

Caius. By gar, nor I too: there is no bodies.

Page. Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? 190 What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not ha' your distemper in this kind for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it.

Evans. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is 195 as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.

Ford. Well, I promised you a dinner. —Come, come, walk in the Park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter 200 make known to you why I have done this. —Come, wife; come, Mistress Page. —I pray you, pardon me; pray heartily pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my 205 house to breakfast: after, we'll a-birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?

Ford. Any thing.

Evans. If there is one, I shall make two in the company. 210

Caius. If dere be one or two, I shall make-a the turd.

Ford. Pray you, go, Master Page.

Evans. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, with all my heart! 215

Evans. A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries! [Exeunt.

NOTES: III, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE VII. Pope. 7, 8: Mrs Ford. Marry ... Robert] omitted in Q3. 20: your] the Q3. 36: SCENE VIII. Pope. thee] Ff Q3 om. (Q1 Q2) Dyce. 38: my] om. Q3. 41: Mistress] Master Q3. 49: tire-valiant] Ff Q3. tire-vellet (Q1 Q2). tire-vailant Warburton. tire-velvet Heath conj. tire-volant Becket conj. tire of Venetian admittance] Ff Q3. Venetian attire (Q1 Q2) Pope. tire of Venetian addition Hanmer. 52: By the Lord, thou art a traitor] (Q1 Q2) Singer. Thou art a tyrant Ff Q3. Thou art a traitor Warburton. By the Lord, thou art a tyrant Collier. 53: fixture] F1 Q3. fixure F2 F3 F4. 55, 56: foe were not, Nature] F2 F3 F4. foe, were not Nature F1 Q3. foe were not; Nature is Capell. 58: persuade thee there's] persuade thee There's (Q1 Q2). persuade Thee. There's Ff Q3. 62: simple] F1 Q3 F2. simpling F3 F4. 74: [Within] F2. Re-enter Robin. Capell. 75: sweating] F1 Q3. swearing F2 F3 F4. 81: SCENE IX. Pope. Re-enter...] Enter Mis. Page. F2. 96: 'Tis not so] Speak louder. 'Tis not so Theobald (from Q1 Q2). 110: and] om. Q3. 119: [Coming forward] Enter F. Rowe. [Starting from his concealment. Capell. 124: I love thee] Ff Q3. I love thee and none but thee (Q1 Q2) Malone. 125: [Gets ... linen.] Rowe. 128: John! Robert] John Rugby Q3. [Exit Robin.] Malone. 132: SCENE X. Pope. 134: How now!] How now? who goes here? Halliwell (from Q1 Q2). How now! what's here? S. Verges conj. 140: [Exeunt ... basket.] Rowe. 144: [Locking the door.] Capell. 144, 145: So, now uncape] om. Pope. So, now uncouple Hanmer. 155: SCENE XI. Pope. 159: who] what Grant White (Ritson conj.). 170: foolish] F2 F3 F4. foolishion F1 Q3. foolish eye on—carry on Jackson conj. 174: to-morrow, eight] F1 Q3. to-morrow by eight F2 F3 F4. 178: [Aside to Mrs Ford] Capell. 179: You use...] I, I; peace;—You use... Theobald (from Q1 Q2). 180: Ay, I] I, I F1 Q3 F2. I, I, I F3 F4. 181: you] me Capell conj. 188: at the day of judgement] F1 Q3. om. F2 F3 F4. 211: Theobald inserts (from Q1 Q2) Evans. In your teeth: for shame!

SCENE IV. A room in PAGE'S house.

Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.

Fent. I see I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.

Anne. Alas, how then?

Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object I am too great of birth; And that, my state being gall'd with my expense, 5 I seek to heal it only by his wealth: Besides these, other bars he lays before me,— My riots past, my wild societies; And tells me 'tis a thing impossible I should love thee but as a property. 10

Anne. May be he tells you true.

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Albeit I will confess thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value 15 Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags; And 'tis the very riches of thyself That now I aim at.

Anne. Gentle Master Fenton, Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir: If opportunity and humblest suit 20 Cannot attain it, why, then,—hark you hither! [They converse apart.

Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and MISTRESS QUICKLY.

Shal. Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Sle. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but venturing. 25

Shal. Be not dismayed.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you. 30

Anne. I come to him. [Aside] This is my father's choice. O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year!

Quick. And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you. 35

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

Slen. I had a father, Mistress Anne;—my uncle can tell you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, 40 good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. 45

Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself. 50

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, Master Slender,—

Slen. Now, good Mistress Anne,—

Anne. What is your will? 55

Slen. My will! od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me? 60

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you. Your father and my uncle hath made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go better than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes. 65

Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE.

Page. Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.— Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house: I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.

Fent. Nay, Master Page, be not impatient. 70

Mrs Page. Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.

Page. She is no match for you.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me?

Page. No, good Master Fenton. Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in. Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton. 75

[Exeunt Page, Shal., and Slen.

Quick. Speak to Mistress Page.

Fent. Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter In such a righteous fashion as I do, Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners, I must advance the colours of my love, 80 And not retire: let me have your good will.

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.

Mrs Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

Quick. That's my master, master doctor.

Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, 85 And bowl'd to death with turnips!

Mrs Page. Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton, I will not be your friend nor enemy: My daughter will I question how she loves you, And as I find her, so am I affected. 90 Till then farewell, sir: she must needs go in; Her father will be angry.

Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Nan.

[Exeunt Mrs Page and Anne.

Quick. This is my doing now: 'Nay,' said I, 'will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on 95 Master Fenton:' this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains.

Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! [Exit Fenton.] A kind heart he hath: a woman would run 100 through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; 105 but speciously for Master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it! [Exit.

NOTES: III, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE XII. Pope. 7: Besides these, other] Ff Q3. Besides, these other S. Walker conj. 12: my] the Capell (altered to my in his own hand). 20: opportunity] importunity Hanmer. 22: SCENE XIII. Pope. 28: but that] F1 Q3 F2. but F3 F4. 40: pen] henloft (Q1 Q2) Halliwell. 62: my] om. Q3. hath] have F4. 65: ask] om. Q3. 66: SCENE XIV. Pope. 67: Fenton] Fenter F1. 75: mind] wind F2. 80: of] or Q3. 85, 86: Anne. Alas, ... turnips!] Anne. Alas, ... earth. Quick. And ... turnips Warburton. 92: angry] angry else S. Verges conj. 93: gentle] my gentle Capell. 95: and] or Hanmer.

SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,—

Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, 5 if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a blind bitch's puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size 10 that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow,—a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when I had been swelled! I should 15 have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter BARDOLPH with sack.

Bard. Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. 20

Bard. Come in, woman!

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.

Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your worship good morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely. 25

Bard. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [Exit Bardolph.] How now!

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford. 30

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection. 35

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her 40 between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit. 45

Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou?

Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.

Quick. Peace be with you, sir. [Exit. 50

Fal. I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. —O, here he comes.

Enter FORD.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, Master Brook,—you come to know what 55 hath passed between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.

Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her house the hour she appointed me.

Ford. And sped you, sir? 60

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.

Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determination?

Fal. No, Master Brook; but the peaking Cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after 65 we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love. 70

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, 75 comes in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and, in her invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket!—rammed me in with 80 foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have 85 suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door, 90 who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master 95 Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths; first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with 100 stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that,—a man of my kidney,—think of that,—that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw: it was a miracle to scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed 105 in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that,—hissing hot,—think of that, Master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit, then, is desperate; 110 you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and 115 nine is the hour, Master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be 120 crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, Master Ford! there's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to 125 be married! this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides 130 him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me,—I'll be horn-mad. [Exit.

NOTES: III, 5

SCENE V.] SCENE XV. Pope. 5: in] into Rowe. 9: blind bitch's] bitch's blind Hanmer. 16: mummy] mummy. Now, is the sack brewed? Theobald (from Q1 Q2). 22: SCENE XVI. Pope. 24: pottle] posset R. G. White. 60: sped you] you sped Rowe. 62: How so, sir] F1 Q3 F2. How Sir F3 F4. 65: me] om. F4. 77: in] by (Q1 Q2) Theobald. distraction] direction Hanmer. 80: By the Lord] (Q1 Q2) Malone. yes F1 Q3. yea F2 F3 F4. 83: smell] smells Hanmer. 96: several] egregious (Q1 Q2) Pope. 106: in] is F2. 107: surge] forge Capell conj. 110: have suffered] suffered F4. 130: nor] not Q3. 134: one] me Dyce. [Exit.] Rowe. [Exeunt. Ff Q3.



ACT IV.

SCENE I. A street.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM.

Mrs Page. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Quick. Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but, truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly. 5

Mrs Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS.

How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

Evans. No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to 10 play.

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence. 15

Evans. Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

Mrs Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Evans. William, how many numbers is in nouns?

Will. Two. 20

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say, 'Od's nouns.'

Evans. Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?

Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, 25 sure.

Evans. You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you, peace. —What is 'lapis,' William?

Will. A stone.

Evans. And what is 'a stone,' William? 30

Will. A pebble.

Evans. No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Evans. That is a good William. What is he, William, 35 that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.

Evans. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case? 40

Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Evans. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; accusativo, hung, hang, hog.

Quick. 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Evans. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. —What is the focative 45 case, William?

Will. O,—vocativo, O.

Evans. Remember, William; focative is caret.

Quick. And that's a good root.

Evans. 'Oman, forbear. 50

Mrs Page. Peace!

Evans. What is your genitive case plural, William?

Will. Genitive case!

Evans. Ay.

Will. Genitive,—horum, harum, horum. 55

Quick. Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Evans. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words:—he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast 60 enough of themselves, and to call 'horum':—fie upon you!

Evans. 'Oman, art thou lunaties? hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires. 65

Mrs Page. Prithee, hold thy peace.

Evans. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Evans. It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 70 'quies,' your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.

Mrs Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Evans. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress 75 Page.

Mrs Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

NOTES: IV, 1

[A Street] Capell. Page's House. Pope. 10: let] get Collier MS. 25: polecats] powlcat Q3. 41: Accusativo] accusative F3 F4. hinc] hunc Halliwell. 43: hung] Pope. hing Ff Q3. 56: Jenny's] Ginyes Ff Q3. 63: lunaties] Ff Q3. lunacies Rowe. lunaticks Capell. 64: of] and Collier MS. 65: desires] desire Pope. 70, 71: quae ... quaes] que ... ques Ff Q3.

SCENE II. A room in FORD'S house.

Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure 5 of your husband now?

Mrs Ford. He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.

Mrs Page. [Within] What, ho, gossip Ford! what, ho!

Mrs Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John.

[Exit Falstaff.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE.

Mrs Page. How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides 10 yourself?

Mrs Ford. Why, none but mine own people.

Mrs Page. Indeed!

Mrs Ford. No, certainly. [Aside to her] Speak louder.

Mrs Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. 15

Mrs Ford. Why?

Mrs Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself 20 on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs Ford. Why, does he talk of him? 25

Mrs Page. Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests to my husband he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad the 30 knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs Ford. How near is he, Mistress Page?

Mrs Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Mrs Ford. I am undone!—the knight is here.

Mrs Page. Why, then, you are utterly shamed, and 35 he's but a dead man. What a woman are you!—Away with him, away with him! better shame than murder.

Mrs Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Re-enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not 40 go out ere he come?

Mrs Page. Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? 45

Fal. What shall I do?—I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.

Fal. Where is it?

Mrs Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither 50 press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

Fal. I'll go out, then.

Mrs Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you 55 die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised,—

Mrs Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mrs Page. Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape. 60

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather than a mischief.

Mrs Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big 65 as he is: and there's her thrummed hat, and her muffler too. Run up, Sir John.

Mrs Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head.

Mrs Page. Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: 70 put on the gown the while. [Exit Falstaff.

Mrs Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. 75

Mrs Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!

Mrs Ford. But is my husband coming?

Mrs Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence. 80

Mrs Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford. 85

Mrs Ford. I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight. [Exit.

Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough. We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, 90 Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: We do not act that often jest and laugh; 'Tis old, but true,—Still swine eat all the draff. [Exit.

Re-enter MISTRESS FORD with two SERVANTS.

Mrs Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders: your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it 95 down, obey him: quickly, dispatch. [Exit.

First Serv. Come, come, take it up.

Sec. Serv. Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.

First Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.

Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you 100 any way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket, villain! Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket!—O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil be shamed. —What, wife, I say!—Come, come forth! Behold what honest 105 clothes you send forth to bleaching!

Page. Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.

Evans. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog! 110

Shal. Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.

Ford. So say I too, sir.

Re-enter MISTRESS FORD.

Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect without cause, mistress, 115 do I?

Mrs Ford. Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.

Ford. Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah! [Pulling clothes out of the basket. 120

Page. This passes!

Mrs Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Evans. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away. 125

Ford. Empty the basket, I say!

Mrs Ford. Why, man, why?

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: my 130 intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no man. 135

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this wrongs you.

Evans. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for. 140

Page. No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.

Ford. Help to search my house this one time. If I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, 'As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's 145 leman.' Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.

Mrs Ford. What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that?

Mrs Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. 150

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as 155 this is, beyond our element: we know nothing. Come down, you witch, you hag, you; come down, I say!

Mrs Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband!—Good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE.

Mrs Page. Come, Mother Prat; come, give me your 160 hand.

Ford. I'll prat her. [Beating him] Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out, out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Falstaff.

Mrs Page. Are you not ashamed? I think you have 165 killed the poor woman.

Mrs Ford. Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Evans. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: 170 I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under his muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. 175

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: come, gentlemen. [Exeunt Ford, Page, Shal., Caius, and Evans.

Mrs Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.

Mrs Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully methought. 180

Mrs Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.

Mrs Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? 185

Mrs Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have 190 served him?

Mrs Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers. 195

Mrs Ford. I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and methinks there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.

Mrs Page. Come, to the forge with it, then; shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. 200

NOTES: IV, 2

18: lunes] Theobald. lines Ff Q3. vaine (Q1 Q2). 33: street] F1 Q3. streets F2 F3 F4. 39: Re-enter F.] Enter. F2. 40: SCENE III. Pope. 43: pistols] Pistol Jackson conj. 48: Creep into the kiln-hole] Given to Mrs Page by Dyce (Malone conj.). 55: Mrs Page] (Q1 Q2) Malone. Mist. Ford. Ff Q3. 57: Mrs Ford] om. F2 F3 F4. 62: a mischief] mischief F4. 63, 73, 85, 150, and passim: Brentford] Brainford (Q1 Q2) Ff Q3. 66: thrummed] thrum'd F1 F2 F3. thrumb F4. 89: him] F2 F3 F4. om. F1 Q3. 98: knight] F1 Q3. the knight F2 F3 F4. 99: as lief] F2 F3 F4. liefe as F1 Q3. 100: SCENE IV. Pope. 102: villain] villains Dyce. Youth in a basket] you youth in a basket come out here Malone (from Q1 Q2). 103: ging] F2 F3 F4. gin F1 Q3 gang Rowe. 104: shamed] ashamed F2. 105: wife] om. Rowe. 159: not] om. F1. 160: SCENE V. Pope. Re-enter ... clothes] Rowe. Enter Fal. Ff. and Mistress Page] Pope. 163: hag] F3 F4. ragge F1. hagge Q3. rag F2. 170: By yea and no] By Jeshu (Q1 Q2). 171: 'oman] 'omans Q3. 172: his] Ff Q3. her (Q1 Q2) Pope. 175: trail] F1 Q3 F2 F3. Tryal F4. 188: fine] find Q3. 193: brains] brain F3 F4. 197: period] right period Hanmer. 198: the jest] jest Q3. 199: it, then; shape it:] it, then shape it: Ff Q3.

SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter HOST and BARDOLPH.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen: 5 they speak English?

Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay; I'll sauce them: they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must 10 come off; I'll sauce them. Come. [Exeunt.

NOTES: IV, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE VI. Pope. 1: Germans desire] Capell. Germane desires Ff Q3. 7: Ay] om. F3 F4. 9: house] (Q1 Q2) Rowe. houses Ff Q3. 11: come off] compt off Theobald (Warburton). not come off Capell.

SCENE IV. A room in FORD'S house.

Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Evans. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs Page. Within a quarter of an hour. 5

Ford. Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt; I rather will suspect the sun with cold Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand, In him that was of late an heretic, As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more: 10 Be not as extreme in submission As in offence. But let our plot go forward: let our wives Yet once again, to make us public sport, Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, 15 Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.

Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page. How? to send him word they'll meet him in the Park at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come.

Evans. You say he has been thrown in the rivers, and 20 has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks there should be terrors in him that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes, 25 And let us two devise to bring him thither.

Mrs Page. There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight, Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns; 30 And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle, And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain In a most hideous and dreadful manner: You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know The superstitious idle-headed eld 35 Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age, This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak: But what of this?

Mrs Ford. Marry, this is our device; 40 That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come: And in this shape when you have brought him thither, What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

Mrs Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: 45 Nan Page my daughter and my little son And three or four more of their growth we'll dress Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white, With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden, 50 As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met, Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once With some diffused song: upon their sight, We two in great amazedness will fly: Then let them all encircle him about, 55 And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight; And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel, In their so sacred paths he dares to tread In shape profane.

Mrs Ford. And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, 60 And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs Page. The truth being known, We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford. The children must Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Evans. I will teach the children their behaviours; and 65 I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards.

Mrs Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, 70 Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy. [Aside] And in that time Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away, And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: 75 He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come.

Mrs Page. Fear not you that. Go get us properties And tricking for our fairies.

Evans. Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. 80

Mrs Page. Go, Mistress Ford, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[Exit Mrs Ford.

I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; 85 And he my husband best of all affects. The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit.

NOTES: IV, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE VII. Pope. 1: 'oman] o'mans Q3. 7: cold] Rowe. gold Ff Q3. 9: as faith] F1 Q3. of faith F2 F3 F4. 11: as extreme] F1 Q3. om. as F2 F3 F4. 11, 12: Printed in one line in Ff Q3. 20: say] see Collier MS. in the rivers] F1 Q3. into the river F2 F3 F4. 22: terrors] terror Q3. 29: midnight] F1 Q3. of midnight F2 F3 F4. 30: great ragg'd] ragged Pope. 31: tree] trees Hanmer. 41: Here Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2, We'll send him word to meet us in the field, Disguised like Herne [Horne Q1 Q2] with huge horns on his head. Malone gives the second line only. See note (VIII). 56: to-pinch] Steevens (Tyrwhitt conj.).] to pinch Ff Q3. too, pinch Warburton. fairy-like, to-pinch] like to fairies pinch Hanmer. 60: him sound] F2 F3 F4. him, sound, F1 Q3. him round, Pope. him soundly Collier MS. 67: taber] taper Pope. 72: time] tire Theobald. 75: in name] in the name Q3. 86: he] him Hanmer.

SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter HOST and SIMPLE.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his 5 standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into 10 his chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call. —Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, 15 calls.

Fal. [Above] How now, mine host!

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? fie! 20

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would you 25 with her?

Sim. My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. 30

Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too 35 from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.

Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.

Host. Conceal them, or thou diest. 40

Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, sir? 45

Fal. To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be bold to say so, sir?

Fal. Ay, sir; like who more bold.

Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master 50 glad with these tidings. [Exit.

Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my 55 life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter BARDOLPH.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. 60

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do 65 not say they be fled; Germans are honest men.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS.

Evans. Where is mine host?

Host. What is the matter, sir?

Evans. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three 70 cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well. [Exit. 75

Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mine host de Jarteer?

Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my 80 trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to come. I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit.

Host. Hue and cry, villain, go!—Assist me, knight. —I am undone!—Fly, run, hue and cry, villain!—I am undone!

[Exeunt Host and Bard. 85

Fal. I would all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor 90 fishermen's boots with me: I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough [to say my prayers,] I would repent. 95

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.

Now, whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other! and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of 100 man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. 105

Fal. What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable 110 had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, 115 what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt.

NOTES: IV, 5

SCENE V.] SCENE VIII. Pope. 2: snap] nap Q3. 17: [Above] Theobald. Enter Falstaff. Rowe. om. Ff Q3. 27: Master Slender] Steevens. my master Slender, Ff Q3. 28: thorough] F1 Q3. through F2 F3 F4. 39: Sim. I may...] Rowe. Fal. I may... Ff Q3. Fal. You may... Collier MS. 40: Host.] Fal. Warburton. Conceal them, or] Conceal them, and Hanmer. Aye conseil them or Becket conj. 39, 40: conceal, Conceal] reveal, Reveal Farmer conj. 42: master's] master Q3. 49: Ay, sir; like] Ff Q3. I tike, (Q1 Q2). Ay, sir Tike, Steevens (Farmer conj.). Ay, sir, tike, Collier. See note (IX). 58: SCENE IX. Pope. 61: with] with by Collier MS. 71: Readins] Reading F4. 80: grand] agrand F3 F4. 85: [Exeunt H. and B.] Capell. [Exit F2. om. F1 Q3. 94: [to say my prayers] (Q1 Q2) Pope. om. Ff Q3. 95: repent] pray and repent Collier MS. 96: SCENE X. Pope. 110: an old woman] a wode woman Theobald.

SCENE VI. The same. Another room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FENTON and HOST.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. 5

Host. I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the least keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who mutually hath answer'd my affection, 10 So far forth as herself might be her chooser, Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither singly can be manifested, 15 Without the show of both; fat Falstaff Hath a great scene: the image of the jest I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host. To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen; 20 The purpose why, is here: in which disguise, While other jests are something rank on foot, Her father hath commanded her to slip Away with Slender, and with him at Eton Immediately to marry: she hath consented: 25 Now, sir, Her mother, even strong against that match, And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed That he shall likewise shuffle her away, While other sports are tasking of their minds, And at the deanery, where a priest attends, Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot She seemingly obedient likewise hath Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests: Her father means she shall be all in white; 35 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time To take her by the hand and bid her go, She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, The better to denote her to the doctor,— For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,— 40 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed, With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head; And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, The maid hath given consent to go with him. 45

Host. Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me: And here it rests,—that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, 50 To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar: Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt. 55

NOTES: IV, 6

SCENE VI.] Ff Q3. SCENE XI. Pope. Theobald continues Sc. 5. The same] Another room. Capell. 14: whereof] whereof's Pope. 16: fat Falstaff] F1 Q3. wherein fat Falstaff (Q1 Q2) Malone. fat sir John Falstaffe F2 F3 F4. fat Falstaff, he S. Walker conj. therein fat Falstaff Id. conj. 17: scene] scare (Q1 Q2). share S. Verges conj. scene in it Capell. 27: even] ever Pope. 39: denote] Capell (Steevens conj.). devote Ff Q3. 50: marrying] marriage S. Walker conj. 51: ceremony] matrimony (Q1 Q2).



ACT V.

SCENE I. A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY.

Fal. Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll hold. This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away! go. They say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away!

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can 5 to get you a pair of horns.

Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs Quickly.

Enter FORD.

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about 10 midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a 15 poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you:—he beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's 20 beam; because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me: I'll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what 'twas to be beaten till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on 25 whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow. [Exeunt.

NOTES: V, 1

ACT V. SCENE I.] ACT IV. (continued). SCENE XII. Pope.

SCENE II. Windsor Park.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.

Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-ditch till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my daughter.

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word how to know one another: I come to her 5 in white, and cry, 'mum;' she cries 'budget;' and by that we know one another.

Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your 'mum' or her 'budget?' the white will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. 10

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt.

NOTES: V, 2

SCENE II.] ACT V. SCENE I. Pope. Windsor Park] Pope. [A street. Capell. 3: daughter] om. F1 Q3.

SCENE III. A street leading to the Park.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and DOCTOR CAIUS.

Mrs Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the Park: we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do. Adieu. 5

Mrs Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of heart-break. 10

Mrs Ford. Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the Welsh devil Hugh?

Mrs Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once 15 display to the night.

Mrs Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

Mrs Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Mrs Ford. We'll betray him finely. 20

Mrs Page. Against such lewdsters and their lechery Those that betray them do no treachery.

Mrs Ford. The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak! [Exeunt.

NOTES: V, 3

SCENE III.] SCENE II. Pope. A street, &c.] [Another street, &c. Capell.] 12: Hugh] Capell. Herne Ff Q3. Evans Theobald (Thirlby conj.). 19: every way] F1 Q3. om. F2 F3 F4.

SCENE IV. Windsor Park.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS disguised, with others as Fairies.

Evans. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you: come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt.

NOTES: V, 4

SCENE IV.] SCENE II. continued in Pope. 3: pid] F1 Q3. bid F2 F3 F4.

SCENE V. Another part of the Park.

Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Horne.

Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. You 5 were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose!—A fault done first in the form of a beast;—O Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the semblance of a fowl;—think on't, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have 10 hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?—Who comes here? my doe?

Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE.

Mrs Ford. Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my 15 male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. 20

Mrs Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? 25 Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within.

Mrs Page. Alas, what noise?

Mrs Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!

Fal. What should this be? 30

Mrs Ford.} Away, away! [They run off. Mrs Page.}

Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL, as Hobgoblin; MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and others, as Fairies, with tapers.

Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, 35 You moonshine revellers, and shades of night, You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, Attend your office and your quality. Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.

Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. 40 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find'st unraked and hearths unswept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry: Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.

Fal. They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: 45 I'll wink and couch: no man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face.

Evans. Where's Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Raise up the organs of her fantasy; Sleep she as sound as careless infancy: 50 But those as sleep and think not on their sins, Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.

Quick. About, about; Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out: Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room; 55 That it may stand till the perpetual doom, In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit, Worthy the owner, and the owner it. The several chairs of order look you scour With juice of balm and every precious flower: 60 Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, With loyal blazon, evermore be blest! And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing, Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring: Th' expressure that it bears, green let it be, 65 More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; And Honi soit qui mal y pense write In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white; Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee: 70 Fairies use flowers for their charactery. Away; disperse: but till 'tis one o'clock, Our dance of custom round about the oak Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

Evans. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set; 75 And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree.— But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.

Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! 80

Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth.

Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, And turn him to no pain; but if he start, It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. 85

Pist. A trial, come.

Evans. Come, will this wood take fire?

[They burn him with their tapers.

Fal. Oh, Oh, Oh!

Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme; And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. 90

SONG.

Fie on sinful fantasy! Fie on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, Kindled with unchaste desire, Fed in heart, whose flames aspire, 95 As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villany; Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. 100

During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes, and steals away Mrs ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises.

Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD.

Page. Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now: Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

Mrs Page. I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher. Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives? See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes 105 Become the forest better than the town?

Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty 110 pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook.

Mrs Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer. 115

Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

Ford. Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant.

Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, 120 drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when 'tis upon ill employment!

Evans. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your 125 desires, and fairies will not pinse you.

Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.

Evans. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.

Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. 130

Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese. 135

Evans. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter.

Fal. 'Seese' and 'putter'! have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm. 140

Mrs Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? 145

Mrs Page. A puffed man?

Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?

Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?

Page. And as poor as Job?

Ford. And as wicked as his wife? 150

Evans. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?

Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh 155 flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.

Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you 160 have suffered, I think to repay that money will be a biting affliction.

Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her Master Slender 165 hath married her daughter.

Mrs Page. [Aside] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.

Enter SLENDER.

Slen. Whoa, ho! ho, father Page!

Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you 170 dispatched?

Slen. Dispatched!—I'll make the best in Gloucestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else!

Page. Of what, son?

Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne 175 Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir!—and 'tis a postmaster's boy.

Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. 180

Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him.

Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter by her garments? 185

Slen. I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.

Mrs Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, 190 she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.

Enter CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened. 195

Mrs Page. Why, did you take her in green?

Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. [Exit.

Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?

Page. My heart misgives me:—here comes Master 200 Fenton.

Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.

How now, Master Fenton!

Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!

Page. Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender? 205

Mrs Page. Why went you not with master doctor, maid?

Fent. You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. You would have married her most shamefully, Where there was no proportion held in love. The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, 210 Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us. The offence is holy that she hath committed; And this deceit loses the name of craft, Of disobedience, or unduteous title; Since therein she doth evitate and shun 215 A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.

Ford. Stand not amazed; here is no remedy: In love the heavens themselves do guide the state; Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. 220

Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.

Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy! What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced. 225

Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.

Mrs Page. Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton, Heaven give you many, many merry days! Good husband, let us every one go home, And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; 230 Sir John and all.

Ford. Let it be so. Sir John, To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word; For he to-night shall lie with Mistress Ford. [Exeunt.

NOTES: V, 5

SCENE V.] SCENE III. Pope. Enter F...] Enter Sir John with a Buck's head upon him (Q1 Q2). 22: bribe] Theobald. brib'd Ff Q3. 32-34: Printed as verse in Ff Q3. 34: Enter ... tapers] See note (X). 35: Quick.] Qui. Ff Q3. 37: orphan] ouphan Theobald (Warburton). 41: shalt thou leap] when thou'st leapt Collier MS. having leapt Singer. 42: unswept] to sweep S. Verges conj. 46: [Lies ... face] Rowe. 47: Bede] Ff Q3. Pede Theobald. Pead (Q1 Q2). 51: as] that F4. 53: Quick.] Qu. F1 Q3 F2. Qui. F3 F4. 57: state as] site as Hanmer. seat as S. Walker conj. 58: and] as Theobald (Warburton). 63: nightly, meadow-fairies,] Capell. Nightly-meadow-Fairies Ff Q3. 66: More] Mote F1 Q3. 68: emerald tufts] Emrold-tuffes Ff Q3. purple] purfled Warburton. 69: sapphire, pearl] Theobald. saphire-pearle Ff Q3. and] in Warburton. 75: Pray you] om. Pope. 86: [They burn ... tapers.] Rowe. 90: time] time. Eva. It is right, indeed, he is full of lecheries and iniquity. Theobald (from Q1 Q2). 91: sinful] simple Pope. 93: a bloody fire] i' th' blood a fire] Hanmer. 95: heart] the heart Hanmer. 97: Mutually] mutuall Q3. 100: The stage direction which follows was inserted by Theobald from Q1 Q2, with some verbal changes. 101: Enter...] Enter... They lay hold on him. Rowe. 101, 102: Printed as prose in Ff Q3. 105: these, husband] these husband F1 Q3. these husbands F2 F3 F4. these, husbands Hanmer. yokes] yoakes F1 Q3. okes F2 F3. oaks F4. oaks [Pointing to the horns. Hanmer. fair yokes] fairy jokes Jackson conj. 111: paid to Master Brook] paid to M. Foord (Q1 Q2). pay'd too, Master Brook Capell. 120: the sudden] with the sudden Hanmer. 136: pelly] F2 F3 F4. belly F1 Q3. 148: as slanderous] slanderous Q3. 152: sack, and wine] sacks, and wines Pope. 153: starings] F1 Q3. staring F2 F3 F4. 156: is a plummet o'er me] is plummet o'er me Q3. has a plume o' me Johnson conj. is a planet o'er me Farmer conj. 162: After this line Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2: Mrs Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends; Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends. Ford. Well, here's my hand: all is forgiven at last. 167, 168: Given to Mrs Ford in Q3. [Aside] Theobald. 169: SCENE VI. Pope. Whoa] What Rowe. 177: i' the] i't F2. 186: white] Pope. green Ff Q3. 190, 196: green] Pope. white Ff Q3. 190: into] in Q3. 193: SCENE VII. Pope. 194: un garcon] Capell. oon garsoon F1 Q3. one garsoon F2 F3 F4. un paysan] Capell. oon pesant Ff Q3. boy] boe F2 F3 F4. 196: did you] did you not Rowe. 214: title] guile Collier MS. 225: After this line Pope, followed by Theobald, inserts from Q1 Q2: Evans [aside to Fenton] I will dance and eat plums at your wedding. 231: Let it be so. Sir John,] Let it be so (Sir John:) Ff Q3.



NOTES.

NOTE I.

I. 1. 41. Master Page is called 'George' in three places, II. 1. 135 and 143, and V. 5. 189, but we have left the text of the Folios uncorrected, as the mistake may have been Shakespeare's own. It is however possible that a transcriber or printer may have mistaken 'Geo.' for 'Tho.'

In I. 3. 89, 90, on the other hand, we have not hesitated to correct the reading of the Folio, substituting 'Page' for 'Ford,' and 'Ford' for 'Page,' because, as the early Quartos have the names right, it seems likely that the blunder was not due to Shakespeare.

NOTE II.

I. 1. 49. Here again, as in line 40, F2 F3 F4 read 'good,' F1 Q3 'goot,' but we have not thought it necessary to do more than give a specimen of such variations. Capell, in order to make Dr Caius's broken English consistent with itself, corrects it throughout and substitutes 'de' for 'the,' 'vill' for 'will,' and so forth. As a general rule, we have silently followed the first Folio.

NOTE III.

I. 1. 114. With regard to this and other passages which Pope, Theobald, Malone, &c. have inserted from the early Quartos, our rule has been to introduce, between brackets, such, and such only, as seemed to be absolutely essential to the understanding of the text, taking care to give in the note all those which we have rejected.

The fact that so many omissions can be supplied from such mutilated copies as the early Quartos, indicates that there may be many more omissions for the detection of which we have no clue. The text of the Merry Wives given in F1 was probably printed from a carelessly written copy of the author's MS.

NOTE IV.

I. 3. 95. Perhaps, as in the Two Gentlemen of Verona, III. 1. 315, and other passages, some of which are mentioned by Sidney Walker in his 'Criticisms,' Vol. II. p. 13 sqq., this vexed passage may be emended by supplying a word. We venture to suggest 'the revolt of mine anger is dangerous.' The recurrence of the same letters anger in the word 'dangerous,' might mislead the printer's eye and cause the omission.

NOTE V.

II. 1. 5. In the copy of Johnson's Edition, which belongs to Emmanuel College, there is a MS. note of Dr Farmer's referring to Sonnet CXLVII. in support of the conjecture 'physician' for 'precisian;' we find there

'My reason, the physician to my love,' &c.

NOTE VI.

II. 1. 194, 196. Here again we have followed the early Quartos in reading 'Brook' instead of 'Broome,' the name given by Ff Q3. That the former was the original name is proved by the jest in II. 2. 136, where the Folios make sheer nonsense.

Mr Halliwell suggests that the following lines, IV. 4. 75, 76,

'Nay I'll to him again in name of Broome; He'll tell me all his purpose: sure he'll come,'

were intended to rhyme and therefore favour the later reading. But in this scene there are no rhyming lines except the couplet at the end.

On the whole, it seems likely that the name was altered in the stage copies at the instance of some person of the name of Brook living at Windsor, who had sufficient acquaintance with the players, or interest with their patrons, to get it done.

NOTE VII.

III. 1. 74. 78. Mr Staunton is unquestionably right in supposing that one part of Evans's speech is spoken aside to his opponent, and the other part aloud. It is impossible else to account for the sudden change of tone. It might have been conjectured that, being a parson, he wished to appear peacefully minded, and therefore made his offers of reconciliation aloud and his menaces in an under tone, but Caius's reply shews that it was the threat which had been made aloud. Evans's valour, it would seem, had already evaporated when he had 'a great dispositions to cry' (III. 1. 20) and, besides, he had just begun to see that he was being made a laughing-stock. As his former speech (74, 75,) is also conciliatory, it was probably spoken so as to be heard by Caius only. He wished to keep up his credit for courage in the eyes of the bystanders. In the corresponding scene of the first Quartos we have the words 'Hark van urd in your ear,' and the meaning of the text may have been obscured by some omission in the Folio.

NOTE VIII.

IV. 4. 41. No doubt there is an omission here in the Folio, which may be partly supplied from the Quarto. But it is probable that Mrs Ford gave a still fuller explanation of her device and the grounds on which the disguise was recommended to Falstaff, otherwise Page would not have been so confident of his falling into the snare.

NOTE IX.

IV. 5. 49. In the edition of 1778 Steevens reads 'Ay, sir Tike, like' ... but it is clear from Farmer's note that it should be 'Ay, sir Tike,' ... and so it is corrected in the later Editions of Steevens. In the Edition annotated by Fanner, mentioned in note V., we find another conjecture of his: 'Ay, sir, if you like,' ... or it may have been 'Ay, sir, an you like,' for the word preceding 'you' has been cut away by the binder.

NOTE X.

The stage direction of the early Quartos is: Enter Sir Hugh like a Satyre, and boyes drest like Fayries, Mistresse Quickly, like the Queene of Fayries; they sing a song about him and afterward speake.

The Folio enumerates at the commencement of the scene all who take part in it, including Anne Page, Fairies, Quickly and Pistol, and in this place has merely Enter Fairies. Malone introduced Anne Page as the Fairy Queen, and at the end, with waxen tapers on their heads. He however still assigned the speeches 35-39, 53-74, 82-85, and 88-90 to Quickly. Recent Editors have generally given them to Anne, on the ground that it is proved by IV. 6. 20 and V. 3. 11, 12, that she was to 'present the Fairy Queen,' and that the character of the speeches is unsuitable to Mrs Quickly. It has been argued, too, that the Qui. of the folios, line 35, may be a misprint for Qu., i.e. Queen. This however is contradicted by the fact that Mrs Quickly plays the Queen in the early Quartos, and that the recurrence of Qui., line 88, proves that the printer of the first Folio used either Qui. or Qu. indifferently as the abbreviation of Quickly.

Most likely, in this and other respects the play was altered by its author, but the stage MSS. were not corrected throughout with sufficient care. This will account for the mistake about the colours 'green' and 'white' in the final scene, lines 186, 190, 196.

Or we may suppose Mrs Quickly to have agreed to take Anne's part in order to facilitate her escape with Fenton.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[Transcriber's Note:

The following text is reproduced exactly as printed, "taken literatim from Q1, the edition of 1602". Spelling and punctuation are unchanged. In some sections, initial capital letters do not match the rest of the word: a Roman initial may be used in an italic word, or the reverse. These mismatched letters are shown in {B}races to avoid using mid-word Lowlines.]

A Pleasant Conceited Comedie,

of Syr Iohn Falstaffe,

and the merry Wiues of Windsor.



Enter Iustice Shallow, Syr Hugh, Maister Page, and Slender.

Shal. Nere talke to me, Ile make a star-chamber matter of it. The Councell shall know it.

Page. Nay good maister Shallow be perswaded by mee.

Slen. Nay surely my vncle shall not put it vp so.

Sir Hu. Wil you not heare reasons M. Slenders? 5 You should heare reasons.

Shal. Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to carrie it so away. M. Page I will not be wronged. For you Syr, I loue you, and for my cousen, He comes to looke vpon your daughter. 10

Pa. And heres my hand, and if my daughter Like him so well as I, wee'l quickly haue it a match: In the meane time let me entreate you to soiourne Here a while. And on my life Ile vndertake To make you friends. 15

Sir Hu. I pray you M. Shallowes let it be so. The matter is pud to arbitarments. The first man is M. Page, videlicet M. Page. The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe. The third and last man, is mine host of the gartyr. 20

Enter Syr Iohn Falstaffe, Pistoll, Bardolfe, and Nim.

Heere is sir Iohn himselfe now, looke you.

Fal. Now M. Shallow, youle complaine of me to the Councell, I heare?

Shal. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, you haue hurt my keeper, [25] Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.

Fal. But not kissed your keepers daughter.

Shal. Well this shall be answered.

Fal. He answere it strait. I haue done all this. This is now answred.

Shal. Well, the Councell shall know it. 30

Fal. Twere better for you twere knowne in counsell, Youle be laught at.

Sir Hugh. Good vrdes sir Iohn, good vrdes.

Fal. Good vrdes, good Cabidge. Slender I brake your head, 35 What matter haue you against mee?

Slen. I haue matter in my head against you and your cogging companions, Pistoll and Nym. They carried mee to the Tauerne, and made mee drunke, and afterward picked my pocket.

Fal. What say you to this Pistoll, did you picke Maister 40 Slenders purse Pistoll?

Slen. I by this handkercher did he. Two faire shouell boord shillings, besides seuen groats in mill sixpences.

Fal. What say you to this Pistoll?

Pist. Sir Iohn, and Maister mine, I combat craue 45 Of this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lie Euen in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.

Slen. By this light it was he then.

Nym. Syr my honor is not for many words, But if you run bace humors of me, 50 I will say mary trap. And there's the humor of it.