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A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Vol. VII (4th edition)
Author: Various
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ROB. Father, I come not now to know my fate; Important business urgeth princely Richard [Deliver letters. In these terms to salute thy reverent age. Read and be brief; I know some cause of trust Made him employ me for his messenger.

SKINK. A cause of trust indeed, true-honoured youth. Princes had need, in matters of import, To make nice choice. Fair earl, if I not err, Thou art the prince's ward?

ROB. Father, I am His ward, his chamberlain, and bed-fellow.

SKINK. Fair fall thee, honourable Robert Hood! Wend to Prince Richard: say, though I am loth To use my skill in conjuration, Yet Skink, that poisoned red-cheek'd Rosamond, Shall make appearance at the parliament; He shall be there by noon, assure his grace.

ROB. Good-morrow, father, see you fail him not, For though the villain did a horrible deed, Yet hath the young king Richard, and Earl John, Sworn to defend him from his greatest foes.

SKINK. God's benison be with thee, noble Earl!

ROB. Adieu, good father. Holla, there! my horse! [Exit.

SKINK. Up, spur the kicking jade, while I make speed To conjure Skink out of his hermit's weed; Lie there, religion: keep thy master grave, And on the fair trust of these princes' word To court again, Skink. But, before I go, Let mischief take advice of villainy, Why to the hermit letters should be sent, To post Skink to the court incontinent. Is there no trick in this? ha! let me see! Or do they know already I am he? If they do so, faith, westward[454] then with Skink But what an ass am I to be thus fond! Here lies the hermit, whom I dying found Some two months since, when I was hourly charg'd With Hugh the crier and with constables. I saw him in the ready way to heaven; I help'd him forward: 'twas a holy deed; And there he lies some six foot in the ground. Since where, and since, I kept me in his weeds, O, what a world of fools have fill'd my cells! For fortunes, run-aways, stol'n goods, lost cattle! Among the number, all the faction That take the young king's part against the old, Come to myself to hearken for myself. So did the adverse party make inquire, But either fall full of contrary desire: The old king's part would kill me being stain'd; The young king's keep me from their violence. So then thou need'st not fear; go boldly on, Brave Hal, Prince Dick, and my spruce hot-spur John, Here's their safe-conduct. O, but for Rosamond! A fig for Rosamond! to this hope I'll lean, At a queen's bidding I did kill a quean.



SCENE THE SECOND.

Sound trumpets; enter with a Herald, on the one side, HENRY THE SECOND, crowned, after him LANCASTER, CHESTER, SIR RICHARD FAUCONBRIDGE: on the other part, KING HENRY the son, crowned, Herald after him; after him PRINCE RICHARD, JOHN, LEICESTER. Being set, enters fantastical ROBERT OF GLOSTER in a gown girt; walks up and down.

OLD KING. Why doth not Gloster take his honoured seat?

GLO. In faith, my liege, Gloster is in a land, Where neither surety is to sit or stand. I only do appear as I am summoned, And will await without till I am call'd.

YOUNG K. Why, hear you, Gloster?

GLO. Henry, I do hear you.

YOUNG K. And why not King?

GLO. What's he that sits so near you?

RICH. King too.

GLO. Two kings? Ha, ha!

OLD K. Gloster, sit, we charge thee.

GLO. I will obey your charge; I will sit down, But in this house on no seat but the ground.

JOHN. The seat's too good.

GLO. I know it, brother John.

JOHN. Thy brother?

OLD K. Silence there.

YOUNG KING. Pass to the bills, Sir Richard Fauconbridge.

FAU. My lieges both, old Fauconbridge is proud Of your right honour'd charge. He that worst may Will strain his old eyes: God send peace this day! A bill for the releasement of the queen preferr'd, By Henry the young King, Richard the Prince, John, Earl Of Morton, Bohmine, Earl of Leicester, and the Commons.

OLD K. Did you prefer this bill?

ALL. We did.

CHES. and LAN. Ye did not well.

GLO. Why, this is good; now shall we have the hell.

THREE BRO. Chester and Lancaster, you wrong the king.

CHES. and LAN. Our king we do not.

YOUNG K. Do not you see me crown'd?

LAN. But whilst he lives, we to none else are bound.

LEI. Is it not wrong, think you, when all the worldś Troubled with rumour of a captive queen, Imprisoned by her husband in a realm, Where her own son doth wear a diadem? Is like an head of people mutinous, Still murmuring at the shame done her and us? Is it not more wrong, when her mother zeal, Sounded through Europe, Afric, Asia, Tells in the hollow of news-thirsting ears, Queen Elinor lives in a dungeon, For pity and affection to her son? But when the true cause, Clifford's daughter's death, Shall be exposed to stranger nations, What volumes will be writ, what libels spread, And in each line our state dishonoured!

FAU. My lord speaks to the purpose; marry, It may be so; pray God it prove not so.

LEI. Hear me conclude, and therewithal conclude; It is an heinous and unheard-of sin: Queen Elinor, daughter to kingly France, King Henry's wife, and royal Henry's mother, Is kept close prisoner for an act of justice, Committed on an odious concubine.

KING. Thou wrong'st her, Leicester.

LEI. Lechers ever praise The cause of their confusion; she was vile.

FAU. She was ill-spoken of, it's true, [too] true.

GLO. Yonder sits one would do as much for you, Old fool; young Richard hath a gift, I know it, And on your wife my sister would bestow it. Here's a good world! men hate adulterous sin, Count it a gulf, and yet they needs will in. [Aside.

LEI. What answer for the queen?

LAN. The king replies, Your words are foul slanderous forgeries.

JOHN. His highness says not so.

LAN. His highness doth, Tells you it is a shame for such wild youth To smother any impiety, With shew to chastise loose adultery, Say Rosamond was Henry's concubine. Had never king a concubine but he? Did Rosamond begin the fires in France? Made she the northern borders reek with flames? Unpeopled she the towns of Picardy? Left she the wives of England husbandless? O, no. She sinn'd, I grant; so do we all; She fell herself, desiring none should fall. But Elinor, whom you so much commend, Hath been the bellows of seditious fire, Either through jealous rage or mad desire. Is't not a shame to think that she hath arm'd Four sons' right hands against their father's head, And not the children of a low-priz'd wretch, But one, whom God on earth hath deified? See, where he sits with sorrow in his eyes! Three of his sons and hers tutor'd by her: Smiles, whilst he weeps, and with a proud disdain Embrace blithe mirth, while his sad heart complain.

FAU. Ha! laugh they? nay, by the rood, that is not well; Now fie, young princes, fie!

HEN. Peace, doting fool.

JOHN. Be silent, ass.

FAU. With all my heart, my lords; my humble leave, my lords. God's mother, ass and fool for speaking truth! 'Tis terrible; but fare ye well, my lords.

RlCH. Nay, stay, good Fauconbridge; impute it rage, That thus abuses your right reverend age. My brothers are too hot.

FAU. Too hot indeed! Fool, ass, for speaking truth! It's more than need.

RICH. Nay, good Sir Richard, at my kind intreat, For all the love I bear your noble house, Let not your absence kindle further wrath. Each side's at council now; sit down, I pray. I'll quit it with the kindest love I may.

GLOS. Ay, to his wife. [Aside.

FAU. Prince Richard, I'll sit down; But by the faith I owe fair England's crown, Had you not been, I would have left the place; My service merits not so much disgrace.

RICH. Good Fauconbridge, I thank thee.

[Go to their places.

GLO. And you'll think of him, If you can step into his bower at Stepney.

FAU. Prince Richard's very kind; I know his kindness. He loves me, but he loves my lady better. No more. I'll watch him; I'll prevent his game; Young lad, it's ill to halt before the lame. [_Aside.

[They break asunder, papers this while being offered and subscribed between either_.

HEN. I'll not subscribe to this indignity; I'll not be called a king, but be a king. Allow me half the realm; give me the north, The provinces that lie beyond the seas: Wales and the Isles, that compass in the main.

GLO. Nay, give him all, and he will scant be pleased. [Aside.

RICH. Brother, you ask too much.

JOHN. Too much? too little! He shall have that and more; I swear he shall. I will have Nottingham and Salisbury, Stafford and Darby, and some other earldom, Or, by St John (whose blessed name I bear), I'll make these places like a wilderness. Is't not a plague, an horrible abuse, A king, a King of England, should be father To four such proper youths as Hal and Dick, My brother Geoffrey, and my proper self, And yet not give his sons such maintenance, As he consumes among his minions?

RICH. Be more respective, John.

JOHN. Respective, Richard? Are you turn'd pure? a changing weathercock! [Aside. I say its reason Henry should be king, Thou prince, I duke, as Geoffrey is a duke.

LAN. What shall your father do?

JOHN. Live at his prayers, Have a sufficient pension by the year, Repent his sins, because his end is near.

GLO. A gracious son, a very gracious son! [Aside.

KING. Will this content you? I that have sat still, Amaz'd to see my sons devoid of shame; To hear my subjects with rebellious tongues Wound the kind bosom of their sovereign; Can no more bear, but from a bleeding heart Deliver all my love for all your hate: Will this content ye?[455] Cruel Elinor, Your savage mother, my uncivil queen: The tigress, that hath drunk the purple blood Of three times twenty thousand valiant men; Washing her red chaps in the weeping tears Of widows, virgins, nurses, sucking babes; And lastly, sorted with her damn'd consorts, Ent'red a labyrinth to murther love. Will this content you? She shall be releas'd, That she may next seize me she most envies!

HEN. Our mother's liberty is some content.

KING. What else would Henry have?

HEN. The kingdom.

KING. Peruse this bill; draw near; let us confer.

JOHN. Hal, be not answered but with sovereignty, For glorious is the sway of majesty.

KING. What would content you, John?

JOHN. Five earldoms, sir.

KING. What you, son Richard?

RICH. Pardon, gracious father, And th'furtherance for my vow of penance. For I have sworn to God and all his saints, These arms erected in rebellious brawls Against my father and my sovereign, Shall fight the battles of the Lord of Hosts, In wrong'd Judaea and Palestina. That shall be Richard's penance for his pride, His blood a satisfaction for his sin, His patrimony, men, munition, And means to waft them into Syria.

KING. Thou shalt have thy desire, heroic son, As soon as other home-bred brawls are done.

LAN. Why weeps old Fauconbridge?

FAU. I am almost blind, To hear sons cruel and the fathers kind. Now, well-a-year,[456] that e'er I liv'd to see Such patience and so much impiety!

GLO. Brother, content thee; this is but the first: Worse is a-brewing, and yet not the worst.

LEI. You shall not stand to this.

HEN. And why, my lord?

LEI. The lands of Morton doth belong to John.

HEN. What's that to me? by Act of Parliament If they be mine confirm'd, he must be pleas'd.

JOHN. Be pleased, King-puppet! have I stood for thee, Even in the mouth of death? open'd my arms To circle in sedition's ugly shape? Shook hands with duty, bad adieu to virtue, Profan'd all majesty in heaven and earth; Writ in black characters on my white brow The name of rebel John against his father? For thee, for thee, thou 'otomy[457] of honour, Thou worm of majesty, thou froth, thou bubble![458] And must I now be pleas'd in peace to stand, While statutes make thee owner of my land?

GLO. Good pastime, good, now will the thieves fall out! [Aside.

JOHN. O, if I do, let me be never held Royal King Henry's son; pardon me, father; Pull down this rebel, that hath done thee wrong. Dick, come and leave his side; assail him, lords; Let's have no parley but with bills and swords.

KING. Peace, John, lay down thy arms; hear Henry speak. He minds thee no such wrong.

JOHN. He were not best.

HEN. Why, hair-brain'd brother, can ye brook no jest? I do confirm you Earl of Nottingham.

JOHN. And Morton too?

HEN. Ay, and Morton too.

JOHN. Why so? now once more I'll sit down by you.

GLO. Blow, wind! the youngest of King Henry's stock Would fitly serve to make a weathercock.

JOHN. Gape, earth! challenge thine own, as Gloster lies; Pity such muck is cover'd with the skies?

FAU. Be quiet, good my lords; ['tis] the King's command You should be quiet, and 'tis very meet; It's most convenient—how say you, Prince Richard?

RICH. It is indeed.

FAU. Why, that is wisely said; You are a very kind, indifferent man, Marry a' God, and by my halidom, Were not I had a feeling in my head Of some suspicion 'twixt my wife and him I should affect him more than all the world. [Aside.

GLO. Take heed, old Richard, keep thee there, mad lad. My sisters' fair, and beauty may turn bad. [Aside.



SCENE THE THIRD.

Enter ROBIN HOOD, a paper in his hand.

OFFICER. Room there, make room for young Huntington.

FAU. A gallant youth, a proper gentleman.

HEN. Richard, I have had wrong about his wardship.

RlCH. You cannot right yourself.

JOHN. He can and shall.

RICH. Not with your help; but, honourable youth, Have ye perform'd the business I enjoin'd?

ROB. I have, and Skink is come; here is his bill.

HEN. No matter for his bill; let him come in.

KING. Let him not enter; his infectious breath Will poison the assembly.

GLO. Never doubt;[459] There's more infectious breaths about your throne. Leicester is there; your envious sons are there; If them you can endure, no poison fear.

KING. Content thee, Gloster.

GLO. I must be content When you, that should mend all, are patient.

Enter SKINK.

HEN. Welcome, good Skink, thou justly dost complain, Thou stand'st in dread of death for Rosamond, Whom thou didst poison at our dread command And the appointment of our gracious mother. See here my father's hand unto thy pardon.

SKINK. I receive it graciously, wishing his soul sweet peace in heaven for so meritorious a work, for I fear me I have not his heart, though his hand.

KING. Be sure thou hast not, murderous bloodsucker, To jealous envy executioner.

HEN. Besides, thou suest to have some maintenance; We have bethought us how we will reward thee, Thou shalt have Rowden lordship.

GLO. Shall he so? Will you reward your murtherers with my lands?

HEN. Your lands? it is our gift; and he shall have it.

GLO. I'll give him seizure first with this and this. [Strike him.

JOHN. Lay hold on Gloster.

KING. Hold that murderous Skink.

GLO. Villains, hands off; I am a prince, a peer, And I have borne disgrace, while I can bear.

FAU. Knaves, leave your rudeness; how now, brother Gloster? nay, be appeas'd, be patient, brother.

RICH. Shift for thyself, good Skink; there's gold, away: Here will be parts.[460]

SKINK. Swounds! I'll make one, and stay.

JOHN. I prythee, begone, since thus it falleth out, Take water; hence, away; thy life I doubt.

SKINK. Well, farewell [then]; get I once out of door, Skink never will put trust in warrants more. [Exit.

KING. Will Gloster not be bridled?

GLO. Yes, my liege; And saddled too, and rid, and spurred, and rein'd, Such misery (in your reign) 'falls your friends. Let go my arms, you dunghills; let me speak.

KING. Where's that knave, Skink? I charge you see him stay'd.

FAU. The swift-heel'd knave is fled; Body-a-me, here's rule; here's work indeed.

KING. Follow that Skink; let privy search be made; Let not one pass, except he be well-known; Let posts be every way sent speedily For ten miles' compass round about the city.

HEN. Take Gloster to you, Lieutenant of the Tower. Keep him aside, till we confer awhile. Father, you must subscribe to his committing.

LAN. Why must he, Henry?

LEI. Marry, for this cause: He hath broke peace, and violated laws.

GLO. So have you all done, rebels as you be.

FAU. Good words, good brother; hear me, gracious lords.

HEN. I prythee, Fauconbridge, be patient. Gloster must of force answer this contempt.

KING. I will not yield; he shall unto the Tower, Warden of th'Fleet, take you the charge of Gloster.

HEN. Why, be it so; yet stay with him awhile, Till we take order for the company, That shall attend him, and resort to him.

GLO. Warden of the Fleet, I see I am your charge, Befriend me thus, lest by their command I be prevented of what I intend.

KEEP. Command me any service in my power.

GLO. I pray you call some nimble-footed fellow To do a message for me to my sister.

KEEP. Call in Redcap; he waiteth with a tipstaff, [Exit one for him. He stammers; but he's swift and trusty, sir.



SCENE THE FOURTH.

Enter REDCAP.

GLO. No matter for the stammering; is this he?

RED. Ay, I am Re-Redcap, s-s-sir.

GLO. Run. Redcap, to Stepney.

RED. I'll be at Stepney p-p-presently.

GLO. Nay, stay; go to the Lady Fauconbridge, my sister.

RED. The La-La-Lady Fau-Fau-Fauconbreech? I r-r-run, sir!

GLO. But take thy errand; tell her I am prisoner, Committed to the Fleet.

RED. I am g-g-glad of th-th-that, my fa-fa-father the p-p-porter sha-shall ge-ge-get a f-f-fee by you. [Still runs.

GLO. Stand still a while—desire her to make means Unto Prince Richard for my liberty; At thy return (make speed) I will reward thee.

RED. I am g-g-gone, si-sir.

RICH. Commend me to her, gentle Huntington; Tell her in these affairs I'll stand her friend, Her brother shall not long be prisoner: Say I will visit her immediately. Begone, sweet boy, to Marion Fauconbridge, Thou lookest like love: persuade her to be loving.

ROB. So far as honour will, I will persuade; I'll lay love's battery to her modest ears; Second my mild assault, you may chance win, Fair parley at the least may hap pass in. [Exit.

HEN. Here, take your charge; let no man speak with him, Except ourself, our brethren, or Earl Leicester.

FAU. Not I, my lord? may not I speak with him?

HEN. Yes, Fauconbridge, thou shalt.

JOHN. And why? he is his wife's brother.

FAU. Earl John, although I be, I am true unto the state, and so is he.

GLO. What, shall I have no servant of my own?

HEN. No, but the household servants of the Fleet.

GLO. I thank you, kinsman King; your father knows, Gloster may boldly give a base slave blows.

FAU. O, but not here; it was not well done here.

KING. Farewell, good Gloster, you shall hear from us.

GLO. Even what your sons will suffer you to send. Is't not a misery to see you stand, That sometime was the monarch of this land, Intreating traitors for a subject's freedom?

LEI. Let him not speak; away with him to prison.

GLO. Here's like to be a well-stay'd commonwealth, Wherein proud Leicester and licentious John Are pillars for the king to lean upon.

JOHN. We'll hear your railing lecture in the Fleet.

GLO.[461] On thy displeasure—well ye have me here. O, that I were within my fort of Bungay, Whose walls are wash'd with the clear streams of Waveney,[462] Then would not Gloster pass a halfpenny, For all these rebels and their poor king too.[463] Laughtst thou, King Henry? Thou know'st my words are true, God help thee, good old man! adieu, adieu!

JOHN. That castle shall be mine, wherein stands[464] Fauconbridge.

FAU. Far from your reach, sure, under Feckhill-ridge, Five hundred men (England hath few such wight) Keep it for Gloster's use both day and night: But you may easily win it. Wantons' words Quickly can master men, tongues out-brawl swords!

JOHN. Ye are an idiot.

RICH. I prythee, John, forbear.

JOHN. What, shall old winter with his frosty jests Cross flow'ry pleasures?

FAU. Ay, and nip you too! God Mary mother,[465] I would tickle you, Were there no more in place but I and you.

KING. Cease these contentions; forward to the Tower. Release Queen Elinor, and leave me there. Your prisoner I am, sure, if ye had power; There's nothing let's you but the Commons' fear: Keep your state, lords; we will by water go, Making the fresh Thames salt with tears of woe.

HEN. And we'll by land thorough the City ride, Making the people tremble at our pride.

[Exeunt with trumpets two ways.



SCENE THE FIFTH.

Enter SKINK solus.

SKINK. Blackheath, quoth he! And I were king of all Kent, I would give it for a commodity of apron-strings, to be in my cottage again. Princes' warrants! marry, Skink finds them as sure as an obligation seal'd with batter. At King's-Bridge I durst not enter a boat. Through London the stones were fiery. I have had a good cool way through the fields, and in the highway to Ratcliffe stands a heater. Mile-end's covered with who goes there? 'Tis for me, sure. O Kent, O Kent, I would give my part of all Christendom[466] to feel thee, as I see thee. If I go forward, I am stayed; if I go backward, there's a rogue in a red cap, he's run from St John's after me. I were best stay here, lest if he come with hue and cry, he stop me yonder. I would slip the collar for fear of the halter; but here comes my runner, and if he run for me, his race dies, he is as sure as dead as if a Parliament of devils[467] had decreed it. [Retires.



SCENE THE SIXTH.

Enter REDCAP.

RED. Ste-Ste-Stepney ch-church yonder; but I have forgot The La-La-Lady Fau-Fau-Fau—plague on her, I mu-must b-back to the Fle-Fle-Fleet to kn-kn-know it. The La- the La-La-Lady Fau—plague on't; G-Gloster Will go ne-near to st-stab me so for forgetting My errand, he is such a ma-ma-mad lord, the La-Lady Fau-Fau-Fau—

SKINK. Help me, device; upon my life, this fool is sent From Gloster to his sister Marian.

RED. I m-must ne-needs go back, the La-Lady Fau-Fau-Fau—

SKINK. God speed, good fellow.

RED. Go-Go-God sp-sp-speed you, sir.

SKINK. Why runn'st thou from me?

RED. Ma-Marry, sir, I have lo-lost a la-lady's name, and I am running ba-back to se-se-seek it.

SKINK. What lady? I prythee, stay.

RED. Why, the La-Lady Fau-Fau-Fau—

SKINK. Fauconbridge?

RED. Ay, the s-s-same: farewell. I th-th-thank you h-heartily.

SKINK. If thou would'st speak with her, she is in Kent. I serve her; what's thy business with my lady?

RED. I sh-sh-should do an errand to her f-f-from my Lord of Gloucester; but, a-a-and she be in K-Kent, I'll send it by you.

SKINK. Where is my lord?

RED. Marry, p-p-prisoner in the Fl-Fleet, a-a-and w-would have her speak to P-Prince R-Richard for his re-re-release.

SKINK. I have much business; hold, there's thy fare by water, my Lady lies this night—

RED. Wh-wh-where, I pray?

SKINK. At Gravesend at the Angel.

RED. 'Tis devilish co-co-cold going by water.

SKINK. Why, there's my cloak and hat to keep thee warm; Thy cap and jerkin will serve me to ride in By the way; thou hast wind and tide; take oars; My lady will reward thee royally.

RED. G-God-a-mercy, f-fa-faith; and ever th-thou co-co-come to the Fl-Fl-Fleet, I'll give the tu-tu-turning of the ke-key f-for n-no-nothing.

SKINK. Hie thee; to-morrow morning at Gravesend I'll wash thy stammering throat with a mug of ale merrily.

RED. God be w-with you till s-soo-soon. What call you the lady? O, now I re-remember: the La-Lady Fa-Fauconbridge. At what s-sign?

SKINK. At the Angel.

RED. A-Angel, the La-La-Lady Fa-Fa-Fauconbridge, Fa-Fan-Fanconbridge.

SKINK. Farewell and be hang'd, good stammering ninny, I think I have set your Redcap's heels a-running, would your pianot-chattering humour could as sa-safely se-set me fr-from the searchers' walks. Yonder comes some one. 'Hem! Skink, to your tricks this titty titty. Ah, the tongue, I believe, will fail me.[468]



SCENE THE SEVENTH.

Enter CONSTABLE and WATCH.

CON. Come, make up to this fellow, let th'other go, he seems a gentleman. [Exit REDCAP dressed as SKINK.] What are you, sir?

SKINK. Would I had kept my own suit, if the countenance carry it away.

CON. Stand, sirrah, what are you?

SKINK. The po-po-porter's son of the F-Fl-Fleet, going to Stepney about business to the La-La-Lady Fa-Fa-Fauconbridge.

CON. Well, bring him thither, some two or three of ye, honest neighbours, and so back to the Fleet; we'll show ourselves diligent above other officers.

SKINK. Wh-wh-why, le-le-let me run. I am Re-Redcap.

CON. Well, sure you shall now run no faster than I lead you, hear ye, neighbour Simmes, I leave my staff with ye; be vigilant, I pray you, search the suspicious houses at the town's end; this Skink's a trouncer. Come, will you be gone, sir?

SKINK. Yes, sir, and the devil go with you and them, Well, yet have hope, mad ha-heart; co-co-come your way.

[Exeunt.



SCENE THE EIGHTH.

Enter ROBIN HOOD and BLOCK.

BLO. Sweet nobility in reversion, Block, by the commission of his head, conjures you and withal binds you, by all the tricks that pages pass in time of Parliament, as swearing to the pantable,[469] crowning with custards, paper-whiffs to the sleepers' noses, cutting of tags, stealing of torches, cum multis aliis—tell, Block, what block you have cast in the way of my lady's content!

ROB. Block, by the antiquity of your ancestry, I have given your lady not so much as the least cause of dislike; if she be displeased at any news I bring, it's more than I must blab.

BLO. Zounds, these pages be so proud, they care not for an old servingman; you are a ward and so an earl, and no more: you disquiet our house—that's the most; and I may be even with thee—that's the least.

Enter the LADY FAUCONBRIDGE.

LADY F. What, Block, what, Block, I say! what do you there?

BLO. Making the young lord merry, madam.

LADY F. Go, attend the gate; See if you can let in more grief thereat.

BLO. Zounds, and grief come in there; and I see Him once, I'll conjure his gaberdine. [Aside.

LADY F. Will you be gone, sir?

BLO. Hem! these women, these women! And she be not in love either with Prince Richard or this lad, let Block's head be made a chopping-block. [Exit BLOCK.

ROB. Fair madam, what reply you to my suit? The prince expects[470] smiles, welcomes, loving looks.

LADY F. The prince, if he give heed to Marian's suit, Must hear heart-sighs, see sorrow in my eyes, And find cold welcome to calamities.

ROB. And why, for God's sake?

LADY F. Even for Gloster's sake.

ROB. Why, by mine honour, and Prince Richard saith, Your brother Gloster shall have liberty, Upon condition you release a prisoner, That you have long held in captivity.

LADY F. I have no prisoner.

ROB. Yes, a world of eyes Your beauty in a willing bondage ties.

LADY F. Go to, you are dispos'd to jest, my lord.

ROB. In earnest, I must be an earnest suitor To you for love; yet you must be my tutor.

LADY F. Are you in love?

ROB. I dearly love Prince Richard.

LADY F. Then do you love the loveliest man alive, The princeliest person of King Henry's sons.

ROB. I like this well. [Aside.

LADY F. He is virtuous in his mind, his body fair; His deeds are just, his speeches debonair.

ROB. Better and better still. [Aside.

LADY F. Indeed he is, what nobody can deny, All lovely, beauty all, all majesty.

ROB. I'll tell his excellence what you report; No doubt he will be very thankful for't.

LADY F. Nay, hear you, young lord! [for] God's pity, stay.

ROB. What, have you more in Richard's praise to say?

LADY F. I have said too much, if you misconstrue me. Duty bids praise him, not unchastity.

ROB. Unchastity? holy heavens forfend it, That he or I, or you should once intend it!



SCENE THE NINTH.

Enter BLOCK and RICHARD.

BLO. They are there, sir, close at it, I leave you, sir; the more room the less company.

RICH. Drink that; farewell. [Gives him money.

BLO. If that Sir Richard comes; this ties, this binds; O gold, thy power converteth servants' minds. [Exit.

RICH. How now, fair madam, who hath anger'd you?

LADY F. Grief at my brother's durance angers me.

RICH. I had thought my ward, young Huntington, had vex'd you.

LADY F. Who? he? alas, good gentleman, he wrong'd me not; No matter, for all this I'll tell your tale.

A noise within, enter SKINK, BLOCK, CONSTABLE.

BLO. Sir, there comes no more of you in with him than the constable. Zounds, here's a beadroll of bills at the gate indeed; back, ye base!

LADY F. Now, sirrah, what's the matter?

BLO. Marry, here's a stammerer taken clipping the king's English, and the constable and his watch hath brought him to you to be examin'd.

CON. No, madam, we are commanded by the king to watch; and meeting this fellow at Mile-end, he tells us he is the porter's son of the Fleet, [and] that the Earl of Gloster sent him to you.

SKINK. Ay, f-forsooth he desire[d] you to speak to the p-prince for him.

LADY F. O, I conceive thee; bid him blithely fare, Bear him this ring in token of my care.

SKINK. If I be rid of this evil angel that haunts me, many rings, much Fleet, will Skink come unto. [Aside.

CON. Madam, if you know this fellow, we'll discharge him.

BLO. Madam, and you be wise, trust your honest neighbours here; let them bring this ca-ca-ca-ca-to the Fleet, and s-see your ring delivered.

SKINK. A plague upon you for a damned rogue! The porter of the Fleet will surely know me. [Aside.

LADY F. Good neighbours, bring this honest fellow thither; There's for his pains a crown, if he say true, And for your labour there's as much for you.

SKINK. Why, ma-ma-madam, I am Re-Re-Redcap, the porter's son.

LADY F. Thou hast no wrong in this; farewell, good fellow.

SKINK. Best speaking to Prince Richard? no, I'll try And face out Redcap, if the slave were by.

LADY F. Make them drink, Block.

BLO. Come to the buttery-bar, stitty-stitty stammerer; come, honest Constable, hey! the watch of our town; we'll drink, try-lill, i'faith.



SCENE THE TENTH.

As they go out, enters SIR RICHARD FAUCONBRIDGE, stealing forward, PRINCE and LADY talking.[471]

ROB. Lupus in fabula, my noble Lord; See the old fox, Sir Richard Fauconbridge.

RICH. We'll fit him well enough; second us, Robin.

LADY F. I'll fit you well enough for all your hope.

[FAUC. beckons to BLOCK.

FAU. Leave quaffing, sirrah, listen to their talk.

BLO. O, while you live, beware, two are sooner seen than one; besides, bear a brain, master, if Block should be now spied, my madam would not trust this sconce neither in time nor tide.

FAU. Well, leave me, now it buds; see, see, they kiss.

BLO. Adieu, good old sinner, you may recover it with a sallet of parsley and the herb patience; if not, sir, you know the worst. It's but even this.

RICH. Madam, what you desire, I not deny, But promise Gloster life and liberty. I beg but love.

FAU. When doth she give her alms? [Aside.

LADY F. Fair, honourable prince.

FAU. Nay, then, they speed. [Aside.

LADY F. My soul hath your deserts in good esteem.

FAU. Witness these goodly tines[472], that grace my head. [Aside.

LADY F. But were you the sole monarch of the earth, Your power were insufficient to invade My never-yielding heart of chastity.

FAU. Sayst thou so, Mall? I promise thee for this, I'll owe thy cherry lips an old man's kiss; Look, how my cockerell droops; 'tis no matter, I like it best, when women will not flatter. [Aside.

RICH. Nay, but sweet lady—

ROB. Nay, but gracious lord, Do not so much forget your princely worth As to tempt[473] virtue t' unchastity.

FAU. O noble youth! [Aside.

ROB. Let not the lady's dead grief for her brother Give life to shameless and detested sin.

FAU. Sweet child. [Aside.

ROB. Consider that she is of high descent.

FAU. Most virtuous earl. [Aside.

ROB. Wife to the noblest knight that ever breath'd.

FAU. Now, blessing on thee, blessed Huntington! [Aside.

ROB. And would you then first stain your princely stock, Wrong beauty, virtue, honour, chastity, And blemish Fauconbridge's untainted arms?

FAU. By adding horns unto our falcon's head? Well thought on, noble youth: 'twas well put in. [Aside.

LADY F. Besides, my gracious lord,—

FAU. Tickle him, Mall, Plague him on that side for his hot desire.

LADY F.—however secretly great princes sin.

FAU. O, now the spring! she'll do it secretly. [Aside.

LADY F. The King of all hearts will have all sins known.

FAU. Ah, then she yields not! [Aside.

RICH. Lady, here's my hand. I did but try your honourable faith.

FAU. He did but try her! would she have been tried, It had gone hard on this and on this side. [Aside.

RICH. And since I see your virtue so confirm'd, As vice can have no entrance in your heart, I vow, in sight of heaven, never again, To move like question but for love.

FAU. My heart is eased; hold, Block, take up my cloak.

BLO. And your cap, too, sir?[474]

[Sir RICH. FAUC. comes forward.

RICH. Sir Richard!

FAU. What, sweet Prince, welcome, i'faith, I see youth quickly gets the start of age; But welcome, welcome; and, young Huntington, Sweet Robin Hood, honour's best flow'ring bloom, Welcome to Fauconbridge with all my heart! How cheers my love, how fares my Marian, ha? Be merry, chuck, and, Prince Richard, welcome. Let it go, Mall; I know thy grievances. Away, away; tut, let it pass, sweet girl. We needs must have his help about the earls. [Aside.

LADY F. Let it not be delay'd, dear Fauconbridge.

RICH. Sir Richard, first make suit unto my father, I'll follow you to Court, and second you.

FAU. Follow to court, ha? then I smell a rat, It's probable he'll have a bout again; Long siege makes entrance to the strongest fort. It must not be; I must not leave him here. [Aside. Prince Richard, if you love my brother's good, Let's ride back to the court: I'll wait on you.

RICH. He's jealous; but I must observe the time. [Aside. We'll ride unto the court; I'll leave my boy Till we return; are you agreed to this?

FAU. O, ay, he is an honourable youth, Virtuous and modest, Huntington's right heir, His father Gilbert was the smoothest-fac'd lord That e'er bare arms in England or in France.

RICH. Solicit,[475] Robin: Lady, give good ear, And of your brother's freedom never fear. [Aside.

FAU. Marian, farewell; where's Block? open the gate; Come, Prince, God send us to prove fortunate.

[Exeunt.

LADY F. Why do you stay,[476] sir?

ROB. Madam, as a lieger to solicit for your absent love.

LADY F. Walk in the garden; I will follow you, I'faith, i'faith, you are a noble wag.

ROB. An honourable wag and waggish earl, Even what you will, sweet lady, I must bear, Hoping of patience profit will ensue, That you will bear the Prince as I bear you.

LADY F. Well said, well said, I'll have these toys amended, Go, will you walk into the garden, sir?

ROB. But will you promise me to bring no maids, To set upon my little manship there? You threat'ned whipping, and I am in fear.

LADY F. Upon my word, I'll bring none but myself.

ROB. You see I am weapon'd, do not, I beseech thee.[477] I'll stab them, come there twenty, ere they breech me. [Exit.

LADY F. This youth and Richard think me easily won; But Marian rather will embrace The bony carcase of dismaying death, Than prove unchaste to noble Fauconbridge. Richard,[478] King Henry's son, is light, Wanton, and loves not humble modesty, Which makes me (much contrary to my thoughts) Flatter his humour for my brother's safety, But I protest I'll dwell among the dead, Ere I pollute my sacred nuptial bed. [Exit.



SCENE THE ELEVENTH.

Enter GLOSTER in his gown, calling.

GLO. Porter, what, porter, where's this drowsy ass?

Enter PORTER.

POR. Who calls? my Lord of Gloucester all alone?

GLO. Alone, and have your wisdom's company! Pray, where's the stammering chatterer, your son? He's ever running; but he makes small haste. I'll bring his lither legs in better frame, And if he serve me thus another time— [Knock within. Hark, sir, your clients knock; and't be your pye, Let him[479] vouchsafe to chatter us some news, Tell him we dance attendance in our chamber. [Exit PORTER. This John and Henry are so full of hate, That they will have my head by some device, Gloster hath plotted means for an escape, And if it fadge,[480] why so; if not, then well. The way to heaven is death, this life's a hell.



SCENE THE TWELFTH.

Enter PORTER and SKINK.

POR. Why should the watchman come along with thee?

SKINK. There's such, a que-question for yon s-same r-rogue; Skink, p-plague keep [me] far enough from him, that a-an-honest f-fellow ca-can-not w-w-walk the streets.

POR. Well, sir, dispatch your business with the earl; He's angry at your stay, I tell ye that. [Exit.

SKINK. 'Sblood, what a frown this Gloster casts at me; I hope he means to lend me no more cuffs, Such as he paid me at the Parliament. [Aside.

GLO. What mutter you? what tidings from my sister?

SKINK. Co-commendations, and s-she hath s-sent ye this r-ring.

GLO. Hold, there's two angels; shut the chamber-door, You must about some business for me straight; Come nearer, man.

SKINK. I fear I am too near. [Aside.

GLO. Hast thou no tidings for my liberty?

SKINK. No, b-but ye sh-shall he-hear f-from her p-p-presently.

GLO. And p-presently, sir, off with your coat. Nay, quick, uncase, I am bold to borrow it, I'll leave my gown; change is no robbery. Stutterer, it's so, ne'er flinch, ye cannot pass: Cry, and by heaven I'll cut thy coward's throat, Quickly cashier yourself: you see me stay.

SKINK. N-n-nay, b-b-but wh-wh-what m-mean ye?

GLO. To 'scape, I hope, sir, with your privilege— [He takes his coat off. How now, who's this? my fine familiar Skink, Queen Beldam's minion?

SKINK. Zounds, ye see 'tis I.

GLO. Time sorts not now to know these mysteries. How thou cam'st by this ring, or stol'st this coat, They are mine now in possession, for which kindness, If I escape, I'll get thee liberty, Or fire the Fleet about the warden's ears. Mumbudget, not a word, as thou lovest thy life.

SKINK. Ay mum, mum fair, pray God may chance it, My lord, but that my case is desperate, I'd see your eyes out, ere I would be cheated.

GLO. Walk like an earl, villain; some are coming.



SCENE THE THIRTEENTH.

Enter PRINCE JOHN and PORTER.

JOHN. Where is this Gloster?

GLO. Y-y-yonder he walks. Fa-fa-father, l-let me out.

POR. Why, whither must you now?

GLO. To Je-Jericho, I th-think; 'tis such a h-h-humorous earl.

POR. Well, sir, will't please you hasten home again.

GLO. I-I-ll be h-here in a trice; b-but p-pray have a care of th-this madcap; if he g-give us the s-s-slip, s-s-some of us a-are like to m-make a sl-sl-slippery occupation on't.

[This while JOHN walks and stalks by SKINK [disguised as GLO'STER], never a word between them.

POR. Look to your business, sir; let me alone.

GLO. Alone; never trust me, if I trouble thee.

JOHN. Mad Gloster mute, all mirth turn'd to despair? Why, now you see what 'tis to cross a king, Deal against princes of the royal blood, You'll snarl and rail, but now your tongue is bedrid, Come, caperhay[481], set all at six and seven; What, musest thou with thought of hell or heaven?

SKINK. Of neither, John; I muse at my disgrace, That I am thus kept prisoner in this place.

JOHN. O, sir, a number are here prisoners: My cousin Morton, whom I came to visit. But he (good man) is at his morrow mass; But I, that neither care to say nor sing, Come to seek that preaching hate and prayer, And while they mumble up their orisons, We'll play a game at bowls. What say'st thou, Gloster?

SKINK. I care not, if I do.

JOHN. You do not care, Let old men care for graves, we for our sports; Off with your gown, there lies my hat and cloak, The bowls there quickly, ho?

SKINK. No, my gown stirs not; it keeps sorrow warm, And she and I am not to be divorced.

Enter PORTER with bowls.

JOHN. Yes, there's an axe must part your head and you, And with your head sorrow will leave your heart. But come, shall I begin? a pound a game?

SKINK. More pounds, and we thus heavy? well, begin.

JOHN. Rub, rub, rub, rub.

SKINK. Amen, God send it short enough, and me A safe running with these[482] clothes from thee.

JOHN. Play, Robin; run, run, run.

SKINK. Far enough and well: fly one foot more; Would I were half so far without the door.

JOHN. Now, Porter, what's the news?

POR. Your cousin Morton humbly craves, Leaving your game, you would come visit him.

JOHN. Bowl, Gloster; I'll come presently. So near, mad Robin? then have after you.

[Ex. PORT.

SKINK. Would I were gone, make after as you may.

JOHN. Well, sir, 'tis yours, one all; throw but the jack, While I go talk with Morton. I'll not stay, Keep coat and hat in pawn, I'll hold out play. [Ex. JOHN.

SKINK. I would be sorry, John, but you should stay, Until my bias run another way. Now pass and hey-pass, Skink, unto your tricks: 'Tis but a chance at hazard. There lies Gloster, And here stands Skink; now, John, play thou thy part, And if I 'scape I'll love thee with my heart. [Puts on PRINCE JOHN'S cloak, sword, and hat. So, porter! let me forth.

Enter PORTER.

POR. God bless your grace, spoke ye[483] with the Lord Morton?

SKINK. I have, and must about his business to the Court. It grieves me to break my sport with Gloster: The melancholy earl is comfortless.

POR. I would your grace would comfort him from hence, The Fleet is weary of his company.

[REDCAP knocks.

SKINK. Drink that, some knocks; I prythee, let me out, His head shall off ere long, never make doubt.

[Exeunt.

Enter JOHN at the other door.

JOHN. Now, madcap, thou winn'st all; where art thou, Robin? Uncased? nay, then, he means to play in earnest. But where's my cloak, my rapier, and my hat? I hold my birthright to a beggar's scrip, The bastard is escaped in my clothes. 'Tis well he left me his to walk the streets; I'll fire the city, but I'll find him out. Perchance he hides himself to try my spleen. I'll to his chamber. Gloster! hallo! Gloster! [Exit.

Enter REDCAP.

POR. I wonder how thou cam'st so strangely chang'd! 'Tis not an hour since thou went'st from hence.

RED. By my Ch-Ch-Christendom, I ha-have not b-been h-here this three nights; a p-p-plague of him, that made me such a ch-chanting, and s-sent me such a ja-ja-jaunt! blood, I was st-stayed for Skink, that ill-fa-fa-fac'd rogue.

POR. I pray God there be no practice in this change. Now I remember these are Skink's clothes, That he wore last day at the Parl'ament.

Knock; Enter at another door JOHN in GLOSTER'S gown.

JOHN. Porter? you Porter?

POR. Do you not hear them knock? you must stay, sir.

JOHN. Blood, I could eat these rogues.

RED. Wh-wh-what, raw? 'Tis a very harsh mo-morsel, Ne-next your he-heart.

JOHN. A plague upon your jaunts! what, porter, slave?

RED. I have been at G-Gravesend, sir.

JOHN. What's that to me?

RED. And at Ca-Ca-Canterbury.

JOHN. And at the gallows! zounds, this frets my soul.

RED. But I c-could not f-find your s-s-sister the La-Lady Fau-Fauconbridge.

JOHN. You stammering slave, hence! chat among your daws. Come ye to mad me? while the rogue your father—

Enter PORTER.

RED. My f-fa-father?

JOHN. Porter, you damned slave.

POR. Is't midsummer: do you begin to rave?

JOHN. Hark, how the traitor flouts me to my teeth! I would entreat your knaveship, let me forth, For fear I dash your brains out with the keys. What is become of Gloster and my garments?

POR. Alas, in your apparel Gloster's gone, I let him out even now; I am undone.

JOHN. It was your practice, and to keep me back, You sent Jack Daw your son with ka-ka-ka, To tell a sleeveless tale! lay hold on him, To Newgate with him and your tut-a-tut! Run, Redcap, and trudge about, Or bid your father's portership farewell.

[Exeunt with PORTER.

RED. Eh! here's a go-good je-je-jest, by the L-Lord, to mo-mock an ape withal! my fa-fa-father has brought his ho-ho-hogs to a fa-fa-fair m-m-market. Po-po-porter, quoth you? p-po-porter that will for me; and I po-po-porter it, let them po-po-post me to heaven in this qua-quarter. But I must s-s-seek this Gl-Gl-Gloster and Sk-Sk-Skink that co-coney-catching ra-ra-rascal, a pa-pa-plague co-co-confound him. Re-Re-Redcap must ru-run, he cannot tell whi-whither. [Exit.



SCENE THE FOURTEENTH.

Sound trumpets, enter HENRY the younger, on one hand of him QUEEN ELINOR, on the other LEICESTER.

HEN. Mother and Leicester, add not oil to fire; Wrath's kindled with a word, and cannot hear The numberless persuasions you insort.

QUEEN. O, but, my son, thy father favours him. Richard, that vile abortive changeling brat, And Fauconbridge, are fallen at Henry's feet. They woo for him, but entreat my son Gloster may die for this, that he hath done.

LEI. If Gloster live, thou wilt be overthrown.

QUEEN. If Gloster live, thy mother dies in moan.

LEI. If Gloster live, Leicester will fly the realm.

QUEEN. If Gloster live, thy kingdom's but a dream.

HEN. Have I not sworn by that eternal arm, That puts just vengeance' sword in monarchs' hands, Gloster shall die for his presumption! What needs more conjuration, gracious mother? And, honourable Leicester, mark my words. I have a bead-roll of some threescore lords Of Gloster's faction.

QUEEN. Nay, of Henry's faction, Of thy false father's faction; speak the truth, He is the head of factions; were he down, Peace, plenty, glory, will impale thy crown.

LEI. Ay, there's the But, whose heart-white if we hit, The game is ours. Well, we may rage and rave[484] At Gloster, Lancaster, Chester, Fauconbridge; But his the upshot.

QUEEN. Yet begin with Gloster.

HEN. The destinies run to the Book of Fates, And read in never-changing characters Robert of Gloster's end; he dies to-day: So fate, so heaven, so doth King Henry say.

QUEEN. Imperially resolv'd. [Trumpets far off.

LEI. The old King comes.

QUEEN. Then comes luxurious lust; The King of concubines; the King that scorns The undefiled, chaste, and nuptial bed; The King that hath his queen imprisoned: For my sake, scorn him; son, call him not father; Give him the style of a competitor.

HEN. Pride, seize upon my heart: wrath, fill mine eyes! Sit, lawful majesty, upon my front, Duty, fly from me; pity, be exil'd: Senses, forget that I am Henry's child.

QUEEN. I kiss thee, and I bless thee for this thought.



SCENE THE FIFTEENTH.

Enter KING, LANCASTER, RICHARD, FAUCONBRIDGE.

KING. O Lancaster, bid Henry yield some reason, Why he desires so much the death of Gloster.

HEN. I hear thee, Henry, and I thus reply: I do desire the death of bastard Gloster, For that he spends the Treasure of the Crown; I do desire the death of bastard Gloster, For that he doth desire to pull me down. Or were this false (I purpose to be plain), He loves thee, and for that I him disdain.

HEN. Therein thou shewest a hate-corrupted mind; To him the more unjust, to me unkind.

QUEEN. He loves you, as his father lov'd his mother.

KING. Fie, fie upon thee, hateful Elinor; I thought thou hadst been long since scarlet-dyed.

HEN. She is, and therefore cannot change her colour.

RICH. You are too strict; Earl Gloster's fault Merits not death.

FAU. By the rood, the Prince says true; Here is a statute from the Confessor[485].

HEN. The Confessor was but a simple fool. Away with books; my word shall be a law, Gloster shall die.

LEI. Let Gloster die the death.

LAN. Leicester, he shall not; He shall have law, despite of him and thee.

HEN. What law? will you be traitors? what's the law?

RICH. His right hand's loss; and that is such a loss, As England may lament, all Christians weep. That hand hath been advanc'd against the Moors, Driven out the Saracens from Gad's[486] and Sicily, Fought fifteen battles under Christ's red cross; And is it not, think you, a grievous loss, That for a slave (and for no other harm) It should be sundred from his princely arm?

FAU. More for example, noble Lancaster; But 'tis great pity too—too great a pity.

HEN. I'll have his hand and head.

RICH. Thou shalt have mine, then.

QUEEN. Well said, stubborn Dick, Jack would not Serve me so, were the boy here.

RICH. Both John and I have serv'd your will too long; Mother, repent your cruelty and wrong: Gloster, you know, is full of mirth and glee, And never else did your grace injury.

QUEEN. Gloster shall die.

HEN. Fetch him here, I'll see him dead.

RICH. He that stirs for him shall lay down his head.

FAU. O quiet, good my lords; patience, I pray, I think he comes unsent for, by my fay.

Enter JOHN in GLOSTER'S gown.

RICH. What mean'st thou, Gloster?

HEN. Who brought Gloster hither?

JOHN. Let Gloster hang and them that ... [487] There lies his case[488], a mischief on his carcase! [Throws off GLOSTER'S gown.

QUEEN. My dear son Jack!

JOHN. Your dear son Jack-an-apes; Your monkey, your baboon, your ass, your gull!

LEI. What ails Earl John?

JOHN. Hence, further from my sight! My fiery thoughts and wrath have work in hand; I'll curse ye blacker than th'Avernian[489] Lake, If you stand wond'ring at my sorrow thus. I am with child, big, hugely swoll'n with rage, Who'll play the midwife, and my throbs assuage?

KING. I will, my son.

HEN. I will, high-hearted brother.

JOHN. You will? and you? tut, tut, all you are nothing! 'Twill out, 'twill out, myself myself can ease: You chafe, you swell: ye are commanding King. My father is your footstool, when ye please. Your word's a law; these lords dare never speak. Gloster must die; your enemies must fall!

HEN. What means our brother?

JOHN. He means that thou art mad: She frantic: Leicester foolish: I the babe— Thou grind us, bite us, vex us, charge and discharge. Gloster, O Gloster!

QUEEN. Where is Gloster, son?

HEN. Where is Gloster, brother?

KING. I hope he be escaped.

JOHN. O, I could tear my hair, and, falling thus Upon the solid earth, Dig into Gloster's grave, So he were dead, and gone into the depth Of under-world— Or get sedition's hundreth thousand hand, And, like Briareus, battle with the stars, To pull him down from heaven, if he were there!

FAU. Look to Earl John; the gentleman is mad.

JOHN. O, who would not be mad at this disgrace? Gloster the fox is fled; there lies his case. [Points to the gown. He cozen'd me of mine; the porter helped him.

HEN. The porter shall be hang'd; let's part and seek him: Gloster shall die; all Europe shall not save him.

JOHN. He is wise, too wise for us; yet I'll go with you To get more fools into my company.

QUEEN. This is your father's plot; revenge it, son.

HEN. Father, by heaven, if this were your advice, Your head or heart shall pay the bitter price. Come, mother, brother, Leicester; let's away.

JOHN. Ay, I'll be one, in hope to meet the bastard, And then no more: myself will be his headsman.

[Exeunt.

KING. Richard and Fauconbridge, follow the search; You may prevent mischance by meeting Gloster. If ye find Skink, see that you apprehend him. I hear there is a wizard at Blackheath; Let some inquire of him, where Skink remains. Although I trust not to those fallacies, Yet now and then such men prove soothsayers. Will you be gone?

FAU. With all my heart, with all my heart, my lord. Come, princely Richard, we are ever yok'd. Pray God, there be no mystery in this.

RICH. Be not suspicious, where there is no cause.

FAU. Nay, nothing, nothing; I am but in jest.

[Exeunt.

KING. Call in a pursuivant.

LAN. Here's one, my liege.

Enter PURSUIVANT.

KING. There is a porter likely to be hang'd For letting Gloster 'scape; sirrah, attend. You shall have a reprieve to bring him us. These boys are too-too stubborn, Lancaster; But 'tis their mother's fault. If thus she move me, I'll have her head, though all the world reprove me.

[Exeunt.



SCENE THE SIXTEENTH.

Enter ROBIN HOOD and LADY FAUCONBRIDGE.

LADY F. Do not deny me, gentle Huntington.

ROB. My lord will miss me.

LADY F. Tut, let me excuse thee.

ROB. Turn, woman? O, it is intolerable! Except you promise me to play the page. Do that, try one night, and you'll laugh for ever To hear the orisons that lovers use: Their ceremonies, sighs, their idle oaths! To hear how you are prais'd and pray'd unto. For you are Richard's saint. They talk of Mary The blessed Virgin; but upon his beads He only prays to Marian Fauconbridge.

LADY F. The more his error; but will you agree To be the Lady Fauconbridge one day?

ROB. When is't?

LADY. F. On Monday.

ROB. Wherefore is't?

LADY F. Nay, then, you do me wrong with inquisition, And yet I care not greatly if I tell thee. Thou seest my husband full of jealousy: Prince Richard in his suit importunate, My brother Gloster threat'ned by young Henry, To clear these doubts, I will in some disguise Go to Blackheath, unto the holy hermit, Whose wisdom, in foretelling things to come, Will let me see the issue of my cares. If destinies ordain me happiness, I'll chase these mists of sorrow from my heart With the bright sun of mirth; if fate agree To't[490], and my friends must suffer misery, Yet I'll be merry too, till mischief come. Only I long to know the worst of ill.

ROB. I'll once put on a scarlet countenance.

LADY F. Be wary, lest ye be discovered, Robin.

ROB. Best paint me, then be sure I shall not blush.

Enter BLOCK bleeding, GLOSTER with him.

BLO. Beat an officer, Redcap? I'll have ye talk'd withal! Beat Sir Richard's porter? help, madam, help!

GLO. Peace, you damned rogue.

LADY F. Brother, I pray you forbear.

GLO. Zwounds! an hundred's at my heels almost, And yet the villain stands on compliment.

BLO. A bots on[491] you, is't you?

GLO. Will you to the door, you fool, and bar the gate? Hold, there's an angel for your broken pate: If any knock, let them not in in haste.

BLO. Well, I will do, as I see cause; Blood, thou art dear to me. But here's a sovereign plaister for the sore: Gold healeth wounds, gold easeth hearts! What can a man have more? [Exit.

LADY F. Dear brother, tell us how you made escape?

GLO. You see I am here, but if you would know how, I cannot 'scape, and tell the manner too, By this I know your house is compassed With hell-hound search[492].

LADY F. Brother, I'll furnish you with beard and hair, And garment like my husband's. How like you that?

GLO. Well, when I have them: Quickly, then, dispatch. [Exit LADY.] S'blood! turn Grey beard and hair. Robin, conceal; this dieteth my mind. Mirth is the object of my humorous spleen. Thou high, commanding fury, further device! Jests are conceited. I long to see their birth.

Re-enter LADY FAUCONBRIDGE.

What, come ye, sister? Robin, a thief's hand! But, prythee, where hadst thou this beard and hair?

LADY F. Prince Richard wore them hither in a masque.

GLO. Say'st thou me so? faith, [I] love the princely youth; Tut, you must taste stolen pleasure now and then.

ROB. But if she steal, and jealous eyes espy, She will be sure condemn'd of burglary.

GLO. Ha! crake! can your low stumps venture so deep Into affection's stream? go to, you wanton! What want we now? my nightcap! O, 'tis here. So now no Gloster, but old Fauconbridge. Hark, the search knocks; I'll let them in myself: Welcome, good fellows; ha! what is't you lack?

Enter REDCAP, with two others[493].

RED. Ma-master Co-Constable, se-se-search you th-that way; a-and, you ho-honest man, th-that way. I'll ru-run th-this way m-my own se-self.

[They disperse themselves.

GLO. What search you for? what is it you would have?

Enter BLOCK.

BLO. Madam, what shall I do to these brown-bill fellows? some run into the wine cellar; some here, some there.

GLO. Let them alone; let them search their fills.

BLO. I'll look to their fingers for all that.

GLO. Do so, good Block; be careful, honest Block.

BLO. Sir stammerer and your wa-watch, y'are pa-past, i'faith. [Exit.

GLO, Will you not speak, knaves? tell me who you seek.

RED. Ma-marry, sir, we s-seek a va-va-vacabond, a fu-fugative, my la-lady's own b-brother; but, and he were the po-po-pope's own b-brother, I would s-search f-f-for him; for I have a p-poor father r-ready to be ha-ha-hang'd f-f-for him.

GLO. O, 'tis for Gloster? marry, search, a' God's name, Seek, peace[494]; will he break prison too? It's a pity he should live; nay, I defy him. Come, look about, search every little corner, Myself will lead the way; pray you, come. Seek, seek, and spare not, though it be labour lost: He comes not under my roof; hear ye, wife? He comes not hither, take it for a warning.

RED. You sp-sp-speak like an honest ge-ge-gentleman, re-re-rest you me-me-merry! co-co-come, my f-f-friends, I be-believe h-h-he r-ran by the g-g-garden w-wall toward the wa-water side.

[Exeunt running.

GLO. This fellow is of the humour I would choose my wife: Few words and many paces; a word and away; and so Must I. Sister, adieu; pray you for me; I'll do the like for you. Robin, farewell; commend me to the Prince.

LADY F. Can ye not stay here safe?

GLO. No, I'll not trust the changing humours of old Fauconbridge. Adieu, young earl; sister, let's kiss and part. Tush, never mourn, I have a merry heart. [Exit.

LADY F. Farewell all comfort.

ROB. What, weeping, lady? Then I perceive you have forgot Blackheath!

LADY F. No, there I'll learn both of his life and death.

ROB. Till Monday, madam, I must take my leave.

LADY F. You will not miss then?

ROB. Nay, if Robin fail ye, Let him have never favour of fair lady!

LADY F. Meanwhile, I'll spend my time in prayers and tears, That Gloster may escape these threat'ned fears. [Exit



SCENE THE SEVENTEENTH.

Enter SKINK, like PRINCE[495] JOHN.

SKINK. Thus jets my noble Skink along the streets, To whom each bonnet vails, and all knees bend; And yet my noble humour is too light By the six shillings. Here are two crack'd groats To helter-skelter at some vaulting-house[496]. But who comes yonder? ha! old Fauconbridge? Hath a brave chain; were John and he good friends, That chain were mine, and should unto Blackheath. I'll venture; it's but trial: luck may fall. Good morrow, good Sir Richard Fauconbridge.

FAU. Good morrow, my sweet Prince, hearty good morrow; This greeting well becomes us, marry does it, Better, i'wis, than strife and jangling. Now can I love ye; will ye to the sheriffs? Your brother Richard hath been there this hour.

SKINK. Yes, I am plodding forward, as you do; What cost your chain? it's passing strongly wrought, I would my goldsmith had a pattern of it.

FAU. 'Tis at your grace's service: show it him.

SKINK. Then dare ye trust me?

FAU. Who? the princely John! My sovereign's son: why, what a question's that. I'll leave you; ye may know I dare trust you.

SKINK. I'll bring it ye to the sheriff's, excuse my absence.

FAU. I will, my noble lord; adieu, sweet prince. [Exit.

SKINK. Why so; this breakfast was well fed upon. When Skink's devices on Blackheath do fail, This and such cheats would set me under sail, I'll to the water-side, would it were later [on]; For still I am afraid to meet Prince John.



SCENE THE EIGHTEENTH.

Enter GLOSTER like FAUCONBRIDGE.

[SKINK.] But what a mischief meant Fauconbridge To come again so soon? that way he went, And now comes peaking. Upon my life, The buzzard hath me in suspicion, But whatsoever chance, I'll filch a share.

GLO. Yonder's Prince John; I hope he cannot know me, There's nought but Gloster, Gloster in their mouths; I am half-strangled with the garlic-breath Of rascals that exclaim, as I pass by, Gloster is fled; once taken, he must die. But I'll to John—how does my gracious lord? What babbles rumour now? What news of Gloster?

SKINK. What news could I hear, since you left me last? Were you not here even now? lent me your chain? I think you dote.

GLO. Sweet prince, age aye[497] forgets. My brother's chain? a pretty accident! But I'll have't, and be in the spite of John. [Aside.

SKINK. There's more and more; I'll geld it, ere it go. [He breaks the chain. This same shall keep me in some tavern merry, Till night's black hand curtain this too clear sky.

GLO.[498] My sweet prince, I have some cause to use my chain; Another time (whene'er your lordship please) 'Tis at your service, O marry God, it is.

SKINK. Here, palsy, take your chain; stoop and be hang'd, [Casts it down. Yet the fish nibbled, when she might not swallow: Go'ut[499] I have curtail'd, what I could not borrow. [Exit.

GLO. He's gone away in frets; would he might meet My brother Fauconbridge in this mad mood, There would be rare ado. Why, this fits me; My brain flows with fresh wit and policy. But, Gloster, look about, who have we yonder? Another John, Prince Richard, and the sheriff? Upon my life, the slave, that had the chain, Was Skink, escap'd the Fleet by some mad sleight. Well, farewell he, better and better still, These seek for me; yet I will have my will.



SCENE THE NINETEENTH.

Enter PRINCE JOHN, PRINCE RICHARD, and the SHERIFF.

JOHN. Sheriff, in any case be diligent. Who's yonder? Fauconbridge?

GLO. How now, sweet chuck; how fares my lovely prince?

JOHN. What carest thou? or well or ill, we crave No help of thee.

GLO. God's mother, do ye scorn me?

JOHN. Go'ut! what then?

RICH. Fie, leave these idle brawls, I prythee, John; Let's follow that we are enjoin'd unto.

GLO. Ay, marry, prince, if now you slip the time, Gloster will slip away; but, though he hate me, I have done service; I have found him out.

RICH. A shame confound thee for thy treachery, Inconstant dotard, timorous old ass, That shakes with cowardice, not with years.

GLO. Go, I have found him, I have winded him.

JOHN. O, let me hug thee, gentle Fauconbridge; Forgive my oft ill-using of thine age. I'll call thee father; I'll be penitent; Bring me where Gloster is; I'll be thy slave, All that is mine thou in reward shalt have.

GLO. Soft; not too hasty; I would not be seen in't; Marry a' God, my wife would chide me dead, If Gloster by my means should lose his head. Princely Richard, at this corner make your stand: And for I know you love my sister well, Know I am Gloster, and not Fauconbridge.

RICH. Heaven prosper thee, sweet prince, in thy escape!

GLO. Sheriff, make this your quarter, make good guard; John, stay you here; this way he means to turn, By Thomas, I lack a sword, body a' me!

JOHN. What wouldst thou with a sword, old Fauconbridge?

GLO. O sir, to make show in his defence, For I have left him yonder at a house, A friend's of mine, an honest citizen.

JOHN. We'll fetch him thence.

GLO. Nay, then, you injure me. Stay, till he come; he's in a russet cloak, And must attend me like a serving-man.

JOHN. Hold, there's my sword, and with my sword my heart. Bring him, for God's sake, and for thy desert My brother king and mother queen shall love thee.

GLO. Mark me, good prince; yonder away we come, I go afore, and Gloster follows me; Let not the sheriff nor Richard meddle with us. Begin you first; seize Gloster, and arrest him. I'll draw and lay about me here and here; Be heedful that your watchmen hurt me not.

JOHN. I'll hang him that doth hurt thee; prythee, away, I love thee; but thou kill'st me with delay.

GLO. Well, keep close watch; I'll bring him presently.

JOHN, Away then quickly.

GLO. Gloster, close, master sheriff, Prince Richard.

RICH. Gloster, adieu.

GLO. I trust you.

RICH. By my knighthood, I'll prove true.

[Exit GLOSTER.

JOHN. Revenge, I'll build a temple to your name; And the first offering shall be Gloster's head, Thy altars shall be sprinkled with the blood, Whose wanton current his mad humour fed; He was a rhymer and a riddler, A scoffer at my mother, prais'd my father: I'll fit him now for all—escape and all.

RICH. Take heed spite burst not in his proper gall.



SCENE THE TWENTIETH.

Enter FAUCONBRIDGE and BLOCK.

JOHN. How now, what way took Fauconbridge, I wonder? That is not Gloster, sure, that attends on him?

FAU. He came not at the sheriff's by the morrow-mass, I sought the Goldsmiths' row, and found him not; Sirrah, y'are sure he sent not home my chain?

BLO. Who should send [home] your chain, sir?

FAU. The prince, Prince John; I lent it him to-day.

JOHN. What's this they talk?

BLO. By my truth, sir, and ye lent it him, I think you may go look it: for one of the drawers of the Salutation told me even now, that he had took up a chamber there till evening, and then he will away to Kent.

FAU. Body of me, he means to spend my chain. Come, Block; I'll to him.

JOHN. Hear you, Fauconbridge;

FAU. Why, what a knave art thou? yonder's Prince John.

BLO. Then the drawer's a knave; he told me Prince John was at the Salutation.

JOHN. Where's Gloster, Fauconbridge?

FAU. Sweet prince, I know not.

JOHN. Come, jest not with me: tell me where he is?

FAU. I never saw him since the Parl'ament.

JOHN. Impudent liar, didst thou not even now Say thou wouldst fetch him? Hadst thou not my sword?

FAU. Wert thou a king, I will not bear the lie. Thy sword? no, boy; thou seest this sword is mine.

BLO. My master a liar? Zounds, wert thou a potentate!

FAU. I scorn to wear thy arms, untutor'd child, I fetch thee, Gloster, shameless did I see thee, Since as I went this morning to the Sheriffs, Thou borrow'dst my gold chain!

JOHN. Thy chain?

FAU. I hope thou wilt not cheat me, princocks John!

JOHN. I'll cheat thee of thy life, if thou charge me With any chain.

FAU. Come, let him come, I pray, I'll whip ye, boy, I'll teach you to out-face.

BLO. Come, come, come! but one at once; ye dastards, come.

RICH. Keep the king's peace, I see you are both deceiv'd, He that was last here was not Fauconbridge.

FAU. They slander me; who says that I was here?

RICH. We do believe ye, sir; nor do you think My brother John deceiv'd you of a chain.

FAU. He did; I did deliver it with this hand.

JOHN. I'll die upon the slanderer.

FAU. Let the boy come.

BLO. Aye, let him come, let him come.

RICH. Fellow, thou speak'st even now, as if Prince John Had been at some old tavern in the town!

BLO. Aye, sir, I came up now but from the Salutation, And a drawer, that doth not use to lie, told me Prince John hath been there all this afternoon.

JOHN. The devil in my likeness then is there.

FAU. The devil in thy likeness or thyself Had my gold chain.

JOHN. Thou art the devil; for thou Hadst my good sword, all these can witness it.

FAU. God's mother, thou beliest me.

JOHN. Give me the lie?

RICH. Nay, calm this fury; let's down to the tavern; Or one or both: these counterfeits are there.

FAU. I know him well enough, that had my chain, And there be two Johns, if I find one there. By'r Lady, I will lay him fast.

RICH. It is this Skink that mocks us, I believe.

JOHN. Alas, poor Skink; it is the devil Gloster, Who if I be so happy once to find, I'll give contentment to his troubled mind.

RICH. I hope he's far enough, and free enough, Yet these conceits, I know, delight his soul. [Aside. Follow me, Blocker, follow me, honest Blocker.

BLO. Much follow you! I have another piece of work in hand; I hear say Redcap's father shall be hanged this afternoon, I'll see him slip a string, though I give my service the slip; besides, my lady bad me hear his examination at his death. I'll get a good place, and pen it word for word, and as I like it, let out a mournful ditty to the tune of "Labandalashot," or "Row Well, ye Mariners," or somewhat as my muse shall me invoke. [Exit.



SCENE THE TWENTY-FIRST.

Enter GLOSTER like FAUCONBRIDGE, with a PURSUIVANT; GLOSTER having a paper in his hand, the PURSUIVANT bare.

GLO. A charitable deed, God bless the king; He shall be then reprieved.

PUR. Ay, sir, some day or two, Till the young king and Prince John change it— Especially if the good earl be not found, Which God forbid!

GLO. What house is this, That we are stepp'd into, to read this warrant in?

PUR. A tavern, sir, the Salutation.

GLO. A tavern? Then I will turn prodigal; call for a pint Of sack, good fellow.

PUR. Drawer!

DRA. [Within.] Anon, sir.

Enter DRAWER.

GLO. A pint of thy best sack, my pretty youth.

DRA. God bless your worship, sir; Ye shall have the best in London, sir.

GLO. What, know'st thou me I know'st thou old Fauconbridge? I am no tavern-h[a]unter, I can tell thee.

DRA. But my master hath taken many a fair pound Of your man Block; he was here to-day, sir, And emptied[500] two bottles of nippitate[501] sack.

GLO. Well, fill us of your nippitate, sir; This is well chanced. But hear[502] ye, boy! Bring sugar in white paper, not in brown; For in white paper I have here a trick, Shall make the pursuivant first swoon, then sick. [Aside. Thou honest fellow, what's thy name?

PUR. My name is Winterborne, sir.

GLO. What countryman, I prythee?

PUR. Barkshire, and please ye.

GLO. How long hast thou been sworn a messenger?

PUR. But yesterday, and please your worship, This is the first employment I have had.

Enter DRAWER, with wine and sugar.

GLO. A good beginning; here, have to thee, fellow; Thou art my fellow, now thou servest the king, Nay, take sugar too, God's Lady dear! I put it in my pocket; but it's here: Drink a good draught, I prythee, Winterborne.

[He drinks and falls over the stool.

DRA. O Lord, Sir Richard, the man, the man!

GLO. What a forgetful beast am I! Peace, boy, It is his fashion ever, when he drinks. Fellow, he hath the falling sickness; Run, fetch two cushions to raise up his head, And bring a little key to ope his teeth. [Exit DRAWER. Pursuivant, your warrant and your box— These must with me; the shape of Fauconbridge Will hold no longer water hereabout. Gloster will be a Proteus every hour, That Elinor and Leicester, Henry, John, And all that rabble of hate-loving curs, May minister me more mirth to play upon.

Re-enter DRAWER, with an ASSISTANT.

DRA. Here's a key, sir, and one of our folk to help.

GLO. No matter for a key; help him but in, And lay him by the fire a little while, He'll wake immediately; but be [not] heart-sick. There's money for a candle and thy wine, I'll go but up unto your alderman's, And come down presently to comfort him.

[Exeunt.

SKINK. [Within.] Drawer! what Drawer? with a vengeance, Drawer!

DRA. [Within.] Speak in the Crown[503] there.



SCENE THE TWENTY-SECOND.

Enter SKINK, like PRINCE JOHN.

SKINK. They be come; the devil crown ye one by one. Skink, thou'rt betray'd, that Master Fauconbridge, Missing some of his chain has got thee dogg'd. Drawer! what Drawer?

DRA. Anon, anon, sir.

SKINK. Was not Sir Richard Fauconbridge below?

DRA. Yes, and please ye.

SKINK. It does not please me well. Knows he that I am here?

DRA. No, I protest.

SKINK. Come hither, sirrah. I have little money; But there's some few links of a chain of gold. Upon your honesty, knows not Sir Richard That I am here?

DRA. No, by my holy-dam.

SKINK. Who's that was with him?

DRA. Why, a pursuivant.

SKINK. Where is Sir Richard?

DRA. At the alderman's.

SKINK. A pursuivant, and at the alderman's? What pig, or goose, or capon, have you kill'd Within your kitchen new?

DRA. A pig new-stick'd.

SKINK. Fetch me a saucer of the blood; quick, run; [Exit DRAWER. I'll fit the pursuivant, and alderman, And Fauconbridge, if Skink have any wit. Well, Gloster, I did never love thee yet; But thou'st the maddest lord that e'er I met. If I 'scape this, and meet thee once again, Curse Skink, if he die penny in thy debt.

Re-enter DRAWER.

DRA. O my lord, the house is full of halberts, and a great many gentlemen ask for the room where Prince John is.

SKINK. Lend me thy apron; run and fetch a pot from the next room. Betray'd, swounds, betray'd by gout, by palsy, by dropsy— Re-enter DRAWER with a pot. O brave boy, excellent blood! up, take my cloak And my hat to thy share; when I come from Kent, I'll pay Thee like a king.

DRA. I thank you, my lord. [Exit DRAWER.



SCENE THE TWENTY-THIRD.

Enter JOHN, RICHARD, FAUCONBRIDGE, SHERIFFS, and OFFICERS.

SKINK. Now, fortune, help or never. They come—and ye were a prince, as ye say ye are, ye would be ashamed to abuse a poor servant thus; but and if ye were not of the blood royal, I'd break the neck of ye down the stairs, so would I, I'd teach you to hurt 'prentices.

RICH. Who hurt thee, fellow?

SKINK. Prince devil or his dam; Prince John they call him.

JOHN. Gloster, I hope.

RICH. I doubt not but 'tis Skink.

JOHN. Where is he?

SKINK. Up them stairs; take heed of him, He's in the Crown.

FAU. Alas, poor fellow, he hath crown'd thee shrewdly.

JOHN. In recompence, if it be him I seek, I'll give thee his whole head to tread upon. Follow me, brother; come, old Fauconbridge; Keep the stairs, sheriff. You see, it waxeth dark; Take heed he slip not by you.

[Exeunt.

SKINK. Hang yourselves, this darkness shall convey me out of doors, I'll swim the Thames, but I'll attain Blackheath. London, farewell; curse, John, rave, Fauconbridge! Skink 'scapes you all by twilight's privilege. [Exit.

WITHIN. Where is he? lights, bring lights; drag out that boy.

Enter all with the BOY.

JOHN. This is my cloak, my hat, my rapier; And either it was Skink or Gloster.

DRA. I know not who 'twas, sir; he said he was Prince John; he took away my apron and a pottle-pot with him, and all-to blooded his head and face.

FAU. We met him, by St Anthony, we met him!

JOHN. The fire of St Anthony confound This changing counterfeit, whatsoever he be.

RICH. It makes me laugh at envious greediness, Who feeds upon her own heart's bitterness.

JOHN. Sirrah, you that were born to cry anon, What other copes-mates have you in the house?

DRA. Sir, my master's gues's[504] be none of my copesmates.

JOHN. Well, your gues's! can you guess who they be?

DRA. Marry, here's a pursuivant, that this gentleman, sir, Richard Fauconbridge, left sick even now.

FAU. Marry of God, did I, thou lying knave?

DRA. I am a poor boy, sir; your worship may say your pleasure; our maids have had a foul hand with him. You said he would be sick; so he is, with a witness.

JOHN. Look about, Fauconbridge, here's work for you! You have some evil angel in your shape. Go, sirrah, bring us forth that Pursuivant.

Enter two, leading the PURSUIVANT, sick.

RICH. Gloster, thou wilt be too-too venturous; Thou dost delight in those odd humours so, That much I fear they'll be thy overthrow. [Aside.

PUR. O, O, O, not too fast; O, I am sick, O, very sick.

JOHN. What picture of the pestilence is this?

PUR. A poor man, sir, a poor man, sir: down, I pray ye; I pray, let me sit down. Ah, Sir Richard, Sir Richard! Ah, good Sir Richard! what, have I deserv'd to be thus dealt withal at your worship's hands? Ah! ah! ah!

FAU. At my hands, knave? at my hands, paltry knave?

DRA. And I should be brought to my book-oath, sir.

WITHIN. What, Jeffrey?

DRA. Anon, anon.

JOHN. A plague upon your Jeffring; is your name Jeffrey?

DRA. Ay, and't please you, sir.

RICH. Why, gentle Jeffrey, then stay you awhile, What can you say, if you come to your book?

DRA. If I be pos'd upon a book, sir, though I be a poor 'prentice, I must speak the truth, and nothing but the truth, sir.

JOHN. And what's your truth, sir?

PUR. O, O my heart.

DRA. Marry, sir, this knight, this man of worship—

FAU. Well, what of me? what did my worship do?

DRA. Marry, ye came into the Bell—our room next the bar—with this honest man, as I take it.

FAU. As thou tak'st it?

PUR. O, sir, 'tis too true, too true, too true. O Lord.

DRA. And there he call'd for a pint of sack, as good sack (I'll be pos'd upon all the books that ever opened and shut), as any in all Christendom.

FAU. Body of me, I come and call for sack?

PUR. O, ye did, ye did, ye did. O, O.

JOHN. Well, forward, sirrah.

RICH. Gloster hath done this jest. [Aside.

DRA. And you call'd then for sugar, sir, as good sugar and as wholesome, as ever came in any cup of sack: you drank to this man, and you do well, God be thanked—but he no sooner drank—

PUR. But I, but I, but I—O my head! O my heart!

RICH. I cannot choose but smile at these conceits.

JOHN. I am mad; and yet I must laugh at Fauconbridge: Brother, look how Sir Richard acts his rage!

FAU. I came? I call? the man is like to die, Practice, by the mass; practice, by the marry God! I shall be charg'd here for a poison'd knave, Practice, by th'Lord, practice!—I see it clear.

PUR. And more, Sir Richard. O Lord, O Sir Richard!

FAU. What more? what hast thou more? what practice more?

PUR. O my box, my box, with the king's arms! O my box, O my box! it cost me, O Lord, every penny; O my box!

RICH. And what of your box, sir?

DRA. Marry, sir, it's lost; and 'tis well known my master keeps no thieves in his house; O, there was none but you and he.

FAU. O, then belike thou thinkest I had his box.

PUR. O Sir Richard, I will not; O Lord, I will not charge you for all the world; but—but—but for the warrant the old King sign'd to reprieve the porter of the Fleet! O God, O God!

JOHN. The porter of the Fleet? the old King sign'd?—

PUR. Ay, my good lord, ay, ay.

JOHN. Is he reprieved then?

PUR. No, my lord; O, Sir Richard took it from me with his own hand, O!

FAU. Here's a device to bring me in contempt With the old King, that I ever lov'd. Princes and Sheriff, you can witness with me, That I have been with you this afternoon— Only with you, with nobody but you— And now a fellow, whom the King would save By a reprieve, this fellow says, is hang'd.

JOHN. If thou hadst done it, I'd have justified it; But, Richard, I conceit this jest already: This mad-mate Skink, this honest merry knave, Meeting this Pursuivant, and hearing tell He had a warrant to reprieve a slave Whom we would hang, stole it away from him. This is sure the jest; upon my life, it is!

PUR. O, but my warrant, how shall I do? O!

RICH. But look about you, hot-brain'd brother John, And I believe you'll find it otherwise; Gloster hath got the warrant in disguise, And sav'd the fellow you so fain would hang.

JOHN. No, no; how say you, master Sheriff, is he not hang'd?

SHER. My lord, the gibbet was set up by noon In the Old Bailey, and I charg'd my men, If I return not, though it were by torchlight, To see him executed, ere they come.

JOHN. I am greedy to hear news.

FAU. Robb'd of my chain, out-faced I had a sword, Accused of poisoning, cozenage, seeking blood! Not to be borne! it is intolerable!

RICH. Sir Richard, I prythee, have some patience.

FAU. I'll to Blackheath, talk not of patience; It is intolerable, not to be borne.

JOHN. It is intolerable, not to be borne; A warrant, brother; Fauconbridge, a warrant!

FAU. I saw no warrant; I defy you all.

JOHN. A slave, a pursuivant, one Winterborn.

FAU. I care not for thee that, Winterborn.

PUR. O, it is I, sir; that's my warrant.

JOHN. Is't you? you rogue, you drunkard; ye are cheated, And we are cheated of the prisoner. Out, dog, dog.

PUR. O, O, O, O my lord.

[Exit with DRAWER.

SHER. Have patience, and we will have a privy search.

JOHN. Go hang, ye blockheads, get ye from my sight! O, would I were a basilisk, to kill These glear-ey'd villains.

SHER. Come away; let's leave him. We have a warrant; let him do his worst.

[Exeunt SHERIFF and OFFICERS.

FAU. I'll to Blackheath, I'll to the holy hermit; There shall I know not only these deceivers, But how my wife plays fast and loose with Richard. Ha! I shall fit them, I shall tickle them; I'll do it, I'll hence, I'll to the heath amain. [Exit.

JOHN. There shall I know where this damned Gloster is, I'll have the devils rous'd to find that devil, O[r] else I'll conjure the old conjuror. I'll to Blackheath, and there with friends conspire, But I'll have Gloster's head, my heart's desire.

RICH. Would mad Earl Robin saw these humourists: 'Twould feed him fit with laughter! O, 'twould fit him. Wherever he is, I know the bare conceit Is better to him than his daintiest food. Well, and it fits me well, now I have time, To court my Lady Fauconbridge at leisure. Love, I implore thy aid; fair Cipria, Thou sea-born mother at affection's ring, Shine brightly in thy sphere, that art[505] my star, My planet, thou of all lights most beauteous, Be thou to my desires auspicious. [Exit.



SCENE THE TWENTY-FOURTH.

Enter ROBIN HOOD in the LADY FAUCONBRIDGE'S gown, night attire on his head.

ROB. O, for this lady! Was never poor gentleman troubled with gentlewoman as I am with myself! My Lady Fauconbridge hath fitted me a turn. Here I am, visited with sleeveless errands and with asking for This thing, Madam, and That thing, Madam, that they make me almost mad in earnest. Whoop, here's another client.

Enter a SERVING-MAN.

SER. Here's my Lady Rawford's page attends to speak with your ladyship.

ROB. I pray ye bid her lordship's page come into my Ladyship. [Exit. SERVINGMAN.] Well, Robin Hood, part with these petticoats, And cast these loose devices from thy back, I'll ne'er go more untruss'd, never be kerchief'd, Never have this ado with what do you lack?

Enter PAGE.

PAGE. Madam, my lady greets your honour kindly, And sends you the first grapes of her young vine.

ROB. I am much indebted to her honour, there's an angel for you to drink; set them up till after supper. Humphrey, pray look about for Block. Humphrey! trust me, I think the fool be lost.

PAGE. No, forsooth, madam, he's upon the green, jesting with a stammerer, one Redcap.

ROB. It is a lewd fellow; pray, bid him come in, youth; I'll give him his welcome at the door. Commend me to your lady, I pray ye, heartily. [Exit PAGE. Humphrey, I marvel where Sir Richard is so late! Truly, truly, he does not as beseems a gentleman of his calling; pray, let some go forth to meet him on the green, and send in that blockhead Block. [Exit HUMPHREY.

Enter REDCAP, and BLOCK after him.

BLO. Will ye tell tales, ye ass, will ye?

RED. I'll te-te-tell your la-la-lady, or I would to G-God we were ha-hang'd else, as my fa-father should have been.

ROB. Now, what's the matter there, I pray you? What company have you there, a-God's name? where spend you the day, I pray?

BLO. Why, where you gave me leave; at the gallows I was—no farther.

RED. A-a-and you be his la-lady, you are the La-Lady Fau-Fauconbridge, the Earl of Glo-Gloster's sister.

ROB. I am so, fellow.

RED. Y-y-your man B-B-Blocke here does no—nothing but f-f-flout m-me, a-and cr-cries r-run Re-Redcap and s-s-see you f-f-father ha-ha-hang'd. I sh-shall g-go-near to m-make m-murder, and he u-use it.

ROB. Well, sirrah, leave your mocking, you were best, I'll bob your beetle head, and if you mock him.

BLO. He's run Redcap.

RED. La-la-law, ma-madam.

ROB. Away, ye saucy fool; go, wait within.

BLO. Run, Redcap; run, Redcap. [Exit.

ROB. Art thou the porter's son, that was condemned about my brother Gloster?

RED. Ay, G-G-God be with you, I am the p-p-porter's son, I m-must r-run to s-s-seek your b-br-brother.

ROB. Well, drink that, fellow; if thou find my brother, be not too violent, and I'll reward thee.

RED. I th-th-thank ye h-heartily; and I had not been cozened with Sk-Skink, I had no nee-need of these ja-jaunts, for Gl-Gloster was s-safe enough.

Enter BLOCK and the PORTER with his cloak muffled.

BLO. Ah, farewell, Redcap.

RED. Fa-fare we-well, and be ha-hang'd. [Exit.

ROB. You'll never leave your knavery. Who's there more.

BLO. One, madam, that hath commendations to you from your brother.

ROB. Comest thou from Gloster? thou art welcome, friend.

BLO. O, it's one of the kindest ladies (though she will now and then have a bout with Block) that ever breath'd, and she had been in her mood now, Redcap would have made her such sp-sp-sport as 't a' pa-pa-pass'd.

ROB. Will you make sport, and see who knocks again?

BLO. Our gates are like an anvil; from four to ten, nothing but knick-a-knock upon't.

ROB. Will you be gone, sir? [Exit BLOCK.] Honest friend, I am glad My brother Gloster got thy liberty, Whose flight was cause of thy captivity: Nor shall there be in us such negligence, Though thou have lost thy office and thy house, But we will see thee better far provided Than when thou wert [the] Porter in the Fleet.

Re-enter BLOCK.

BLO. Madam, your old friend, Prince Richard, All alone, Making moan, Fetching many a grievous groan.

ROB. Prince Richard come so late? lights to his chamber; Sirrah, in any case, say I am sick.

BLO. Very sick, sick, and like to die! I'll sing it, and you will.

ROB. Away, ye knave; tell him, in the morning I'll humbly wait upon his excellence.

BLO. That's all his desire to have ye lowly and humble, and 'tis a courteous thing in a lady. [Exit.

ROB. Hence, or else I'll set you hence. Go in, good friend. Come, Lady Fauconbridge; it's time to come; Robin can hold out no longer, I see: Hot wooers will be tempters presently. [Exit.



SCENE THE TWENTY-FIFTH.

Enter SKINK like a Hermit.

SKINK. Now, holy Skink, in thy religious weed, Look out for purchase or thy wonted clients. Warrants, quoth you? I was fairly warranted; Young Robin Hood, the Earl of Huntington, Shall never fetch me more unto his prince.

Enter LADY FAUCONBRIDGE, in Merchant's Wife's attire.

But, pauca verba, Skink! a prize, a prize; By th'mass, a pretty girl; close, hermit, close. Overhear, if thou canst, what she desires, For so my cunning and my credit spreads.

LADY F. See, how affection arms my feeble strength, To this so desperate journeying all alone, While Robin Hood, young Earl of Huntington, Plays Lady Fauconbridge for me at home.

SKINK. What mystery is this? The Lady Fauconbridge! It's she? Sweet fortune, thou hast sent her well; I will entice this morsel to my cell. Her husband's jealous; I will give him cause. As he believes, I hope it shall succeed. Nay, swounds, it shall; she's mine in scorn of speed.

LADY F. By this broad beaten path, it should appear, The holy hermit's cave cannot be far, And if I err not, this is he himself.

SKINK. What honour'd tongue enquireth for the hermit?

LADY F. What honour'd tongue?

SKINK. Ay, Lady Fauconbridge, I know ye, and I know for what ye come, For Gloster and your husband's jealousy.

LADY F. O thou, whose eye of contemplation Looks through the windows of the highest heavens, Resolve thy handmaid, where Earl Gloster lives: And whether he shall live, and 'scape the hate Of proud young Henry and his brother John?

SKINK. I'll have you first in; I'll tell you more anon. Madam, they say bushes have ears and eyes; And these are matters of great secrecy; And you'll vouchsafe enter my holy cell, There what you long to know I'll quickly tell.

Enter JOHN and FAUCONBRIDGE.

LADY F. Stay, here are strangers.

SKINK. A plague upon them, come they in the nick, To hinder Reynard[506] of his fox's trick?

[LADY FAUCONBRIDGE retires a little.

JOHN. Good day, old hermit.

FAU. So to you, fair dame.

JOHN. By Elinor's grey eye, she's fair indeed. Sweet heart, come ye for holy benisons? Hermit, hast thou good custom with such clients? I cannot blame your feats, your juggling tricks, Plague juggle you!

LADY F. Why curse ye sacred worth?

FAU. Ill done, in sooth, my Lord, very ill done, Wrong holiness! a very pretty woman! [aside.] Mock gravity! by the mass a cherry lip! [aside.] Ah, it's not well done [to] deride a holy hermit!

JOHN. I have it in my purse shall make amends.

SKINK. His purse and yours shall make me some amends For hind'ring me this morning from the lady; For scaring me at tavern yesternight: For having back your chain, I'll fit you both. [Aside.

JOHN. Hermit, a word.

FAU. A word with you, fair mistress.

JOHN. Where lie your devils, that tell all your news? Would you would trouble them for half an hour, To know what is become of traitor Gloster, That in my clothes broke prison in the Fleet?

SKINK. No, it was Skink.

JOHN. Come, old fool, ye dote.

SKINK. But hear me.

FAU. Hear him, Prince.

JOHN. 'Swounds, who hears you? I'll make your lady graft ye for this work.— [Aside.] —But to your tale, sir.

SKINK. Know, thrice-honoured Prince, That Skink did cosen Redcap of his clothes, Gloster did cosen Skink, and so escap'd.

JOHN. Well done, Fauconbridge!

FAU. My lord, he tells you true.

JOHN. You find it on her lips: but, forward, sir.

SKINK. 'Twas Skink in Gloster's gown, whom you did visit, That play'd at bowls, and after stole your clothes, While you went into the Lord Morton's chamber.

JOHN. This savours of some truth.

FAU. 'Tis very like.

JOHN. Well, Fauconbridge, by heaven, I'll tell your wife.

FAU. She'll much believe you! you will? Come, Tell me not of my wife[507]: this evening fail me not. My wife, quoth you: I'll send my wife from home. Do tell my wife, Prince John, by my dear mother, I love her too-too well to like another.

LADY F. It seems so, fox; O, what a world is this! There most sin reigns, where least suspicion is.

FAU. You'll come?

LADY F. I will not fail, I warrant you.

JOHN. Hermit, is all this true?

SKINK. Himself, [If he] deliver not so much, before ye sleep, Root me from out the borders of this realm.

[JOHN and FAUC. retire a little.

JOHN. Well, by your leave, Sir Richard Fauconbridge, Hence, free from fear; you'll melt, you'll melt, old man.

FAU. Nay, take her to you; she's a shrew, I warrant. I'll to the holy hermit, and inquire About my chain, your sword, the pursuivant, And other matters, that I have to ask.

[He returns; JOHN addresses the LADY.

SKINK. You're welcome, good Sir Richard.

JOHN. Nay, do not stand on terms; I am fire, all life, Nor never tell me, that I have a wife. I do not mean to marry; ye think so! But to be merry you the manner know. And you will have me, have me—'ppoint a meeting; I'll be your true love, you shall be my sweeting. If you deny to promise, this is plain I'll have my will, ere you get home again.

LADY F. Most gracious lord.

JOHN. Tut, tell not me of grace: I like no goodness but a beauteous face. Be therefore brief; give me your hand and swear, Or I'll away with you into the heath: Neither shall Fauconbridge nor hermit help, And what I do I'll answer well enough.

LADY F. Why, then, my lord.

JOHN. Nay, do not stand on them:[508] But tell me, when my lord shall have you, Lady; It's presently I venture for a baby.

LADY F. This night at Stepney, by my summer-house, There is a tavern which I sometimes use, When we from London come a-gossiping; It is the Hind.

JOHN. Give me thy pretty hand: Thou'lt meet me at the Hind? I'll be thy roe.

LADY F. One word's enough.

JOHN. Suffice; then be it so.

LADY F. I'll fit my old adulterer and your grace, I'll send the Princess thither in my place. [Aside.

FAU. Prince John, Prince John, the hermit tells me wonders; He says it was Skink that 'scap'd us at the tavern: Skink had my chain—nay, sure, that Skink did all.

SKINK. I say, go but to yonder corner, And ere the sun be half an hour higher, There will the thief attempt a robbery.

JOHN. Who? Skink?

FAU. Will Skink?

SKINK. Ay, Skink, upon my word.

FAU. Shall we go seize upon him, good Prince John?

JOHN. Nay, we will have him, that's no question. And yet not hurt the honest rogue. He'll help us well in quest of changing Gloster. Hermit, farewell; Lady, keep your hour.

FAU. Adieu, old hermit: soon in the evening, lass.

LADY F. I'll meet you both, and meet with[509] both of you. Father, what answer do you give to me?

SKINK. Lady, start down; I must into my cell, Where I am curing of a man late hurt; He dress'd, I must unto my orisons; In half an hour all will be despatch'd, And then I will attend your ladyship. [Exit.

LADY F. At your best leisure, father. O, the life, That this thrice-reverend hermit leadeth here. How far remote from mortal vanities, Baits to the soul, enticements to the eye! How far is he unlike my lustful lord? Who being given himself to be unchaste, Thinks all men like himself in their effects, And injures me, that never had a thought To wrong the sacred rights of spotless faith.

Enter SKINK with a patch on his face, and a falconer's lure in his hand.[510]

SKINK. Hermit, farewell, I'll pay ye or speak with ye next time I see ye. Sweet mouse, the hermit bids you stay here; he'll visit you anon. Now, John and Fauconbridge, I'll match ye, and I do not say Skink's a wretch, a wren, a worm. When I have trick'd them, madam, I will trim you. Commodity is to be preferr'd before pleasure. About profit, Skink; for crowns, for crowns, that make the kingly thoughts! [Exit.

LADY F. (to the hermit supposed within.) I am assur'd that man's some murderer. Good Father Hermit, speak and comfort me; Are ye at prayers, good old man? I pray ye, speak. [Enters. What's here? a beard? a counterfeited hair? The hermit's portesse,[511] garments, and his beads? Jesus defend me! I will fly this den; It's some thief's cave, no haunt for holy men. What, if the murderer (as I guess him one) Set on my husband! Tush, Prince John and he Are able to defend their[512] noble selves. Howe'er, I will not tarry, I'll away, Lest unto theft and rape I prove a prey. [Exit.



SCENE THE TWENTY-SIXTH.

Enter SKINK solus.

SKINK. Yonder they are; I'll fit them; here's my ground. Wa-ha-how, wa-ha-how, wa-ha-how!

Enter FAUCONBRIDGE [and JOHN.]

FAU. I warrant ye, my lord, some man's distress'd.

JOHN. Why, man, 'tis a falconer.

FAU, Marry of me, good fellow, I did think thou had'st been robb'd.

SKINK. Robb'd, sir? No, he that comes to rob me shall have a hard match on't, yet two good fellows had like to have been robb'd by one tall thief, had not I stepped in. A bots on him! I lost a hawk by him, and yet I car'd not to send another after him, so I could find the thief; and hereabout he is; I know he is squatted.

FAU. Say'st thou me so? we'll find him, by St Mary, An honest fellow, a good commonwealth's man.

JOHN. There are caves hereabout, good fellow, are there not?

SKINK. Yes, sir; tread the ground, sir, and you shall hear their hollowness; this way, sir, this way.

JOHN. Help, Fauconbridge.

FAU. O, help me, good Prince John.

SKINK. I'll help you both; deliver, sir, deliver! Swounds, linger not. Prince John, put up your purse, or I'll throw poniards down upon your pate. Quickly! when? I am Skink, that 'scap'd ye yesternight, and fled the Fleet in your cloak, carrying me clean out of wind and rain. I broke the bonds and links that fettered your chain amity; this cheat is mine. Farewell, I cannot stay, Sweet Prince, old Knight, I thank ye for this prey. [Exit.

FAU. God's marry mother, here's a jest indeed. We came to take: a thief takes us! Where are ye, good my lord?

JOHN. No matter where; I think I was fore-spoken at the teat, This damn'd rogue serv'd me thus! Gloster and he, Upon my life, conclude in villany. He was not wont to plot these stratagems. Lend me your hand a little; come away, Let's to the cell again; perchance the hermit Is Skink and thief, and hermit, all in one.

FAU. Marry a God, then ten to one it's so; Well thought on, Princely John; He had my chain, no doubt he had your sword.

JOHN. If there be now no hermit at the cell, I'll swear by all the saints it's none but he.

[Exeunt.



SCENE THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.

Enter GLOSTER in the Hermit's gown, putting on the beard.

GLO. This accident hath hit thy humour, Gloster; From pursuivant I'll turn a hermit now. Sure, he that keeps this cell's a counterfeit, Else what does he here with false hair and beard? Well, howsoe'er it be, I'll seem to be The holy hermit; for such fame there is, Of one accounted reverend on this heath.

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