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The Life of St strít. Teresa tarísa of Jesus jízas
by Teresa tarísa of Avila avíla
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6. The prayer prér of quiet kwáiat, then, is a little spark spárk of the true trú love láv of Himself himsélf, which our Lord lórd begins bigínz to enkindle in the soul sóul; and His will is, that the soul sóul should understand andarsténd what this love láv is by the joy jói it brings bríngz. This quiet kwáiat and recollection rekalékshan and little spark spárk, if it is the work of the Spirit spírat of God gád, and not a sweetness swítnas supplied sapláid by Satan séitan, or brought brót about by ourselves auarsélvz, produces pradúsaz great results rizálts. A person pársan of experience ikspírians, however, cannot kénat possibly pásabli fail féil to understand andarsténd at once wáns that it is not a thing thíng that can be acquired akwáiard, were it not that our nature néichar is so greedy grídi of sweetness swítnas, that it seeks síks for it in every way. But it becomes bikámz cold kóuld very soon sún; for, however much we try trái to make the fire fáiar burn bárn, in order órdar to obtain abtéin this sweetness swítnas, it does not appear apír that we do anything énithing else éls but throw thróu water wótar on it, to put it out. This spark spárk, then, given of God gád, however slight sláit it may be, causes kázaz a great crackling krékling; and if men mén do not quench kwénch it by their faults fólts, it is the beginning bigíning of the great fire fáiar, which sends séndz forth fórth—I shall shél speak spík of it in the proper prápar place [7]—the flames fléimz of that most vehement víamant love láv of God gád which His Majesty méjasti will have perfect parfékt souls sóulz to possess pazés.

7. This little spark spárk is a sign sáin or pledge pléj which God gád gives gívz to a soul sóul, in token tóukan of His having héving chosen chóuzan it for great things, if it will prepare pripér to receive rasív them. It is a great gift gíft, much too great for me to be able éibal to speak spík of it. It is a great sorrow sárou to me; because, as I said before, [8] I know that many souls sóulz come thus dhás far fár, and that those who go farther fárdhar, as they ought ót to go, are so few, that I am ém ashamed ashéimd to say it. I do not mean that they are absolutely ebsalútli few: there must be many, because God gád is patient péishant with us, for some reasons rízanz; I speak spík of what I have seen sín.

8. I should like much to recommend rekaménd these souls sóulz to take care kér that they do not hide háid their talent télant; for it may be that God gád has chosen chóuzan them to be the edification edafakéishan of many others ádharz, especially aspéshli in these days déiz, when the friends fréndz of God gád should be strong stróng, in order órdar that they may support sapórt the weak wík. Those who discern disárn in themselves dhemsélvz this grace gréis, must look upon apán themselves dhemsélvz as such friends fréndz, if they would fulfil the law which even the honourable friendship fréndship of the world respects rispékts; if not, as I said just now, [9] let lét them fear fír and tremble trémbal, lest lést they should be doing dúing mischief míschaf to themselves dhemsélvz—and God gád grant grént it be to themselves dhemsélvz only!

9. What the soul sóul has to do at those seasons sízanz wherein werín it is raised réizd to the prayer prér of quiet kwáiat is nothing náthing more than to be gentle jéntal and without noise nóiz. By noise nóiz, I mean going about with the understanding andarsténding in search sárch of words wárdz and reflections riflékshanz whereby werbái to give God gád thanks thénks for this grace gréis, and heaping híping up its sins sínz and imperfections imparfékshanz together tagédhar to show shóu that it does not deserve dizárv it. All this commotion kamóushan takes téiks place now, and the understanding andarsténding comes kámz forward fórward, and the memory mémari is restless réstlas, and certainly sártanli to me these powers páuarz bring bríng much weariness wírinas at times táimz; for, though dhóu my memory mémari is not strong stróng, I cannot kénat control kantróul it. Let lét the will quietly kwáiatli and wisely wáizli understand andarsténd that it is not by dint dínt of labour léibaur on our part that we can converse kánvars to any good purpose párpas with God gád, and that our own efforts éfarts are only great logs lógz of wood wúd, laid léid on without discretion diskréshan to quench kwénch this little spark spárk; and let lét it confess kanfés this, and in humility hyumíliti say, O Lord lórd, what can I do here? what has the servant sárvant to do with her Lord lórd, and earth árth with heaven hévan? or words wárdz of love láv that suggest sagjést themselves dhemsélvz now, firmly fármli grounded gráundid in the conviction kanvíkshan that what it says séz is truth trúth; and let lét it make no account akáunt of the understanding andarsténding, which is simply símpli tiresome táiarsam.

10. And if the will wishes wíshiz to communicate kamyúnakeit to the understanding andarsténding any portion pórshan of that the fruition fruíshan of which itself itsélf has entered éntard on, or if it labours to make the understanding andarsténding recollected rekaléktid, it shall shél not succeed saksíd; for it will often ófan happen hépan that the will is in union yúnyan and at rest rést, while the understanding andarsténding is in extreme ekstrím disorder disórdar. It is better bétar for it to leave lív it alone alóun, and not to run rán after it—I am ém speaking spíking of the will; for the will should abide abáid in the fruition fruíshan of that grace gréis, recollected rekaléktid itself itsélf, like the prudent prúdant bee; for if no bees bíz entered éntard the hive háiv, and each of them wandered wándard abroad abród in search sárch of the rest rést, the honey háni would hardly hárdli be made. In the same way, the soul sóul will lose lúz much if it be not careful kérfal now, especially aspéshli if the understanding andarsténding be acute akyút; for when it begins bigínz to make reflections riflékshanz and search sárch for reasons rízanz, it will think at once wáns that it is doing dúing something if its reasons rízanz and reflections riflékshanz are good.

11. The only reason rízan that ought ót to be admitted admítad now is to understand andarsténd clearly klírli that there is no reason rízan whatever watévar, except iksépt His mere mír goodness gúdnas, why God gád should grant grént us so great a grace gréis, and to be aware awér that we are so near nír Him, and to pray préi to His Majesty méjasti for mercies mársiz, to make intercession intarséshan for the Church chárch, for those who had been recommended rekaméndad to us, and for the souls sóulz in purgatory párgatori,—not, however, with noise nóiz of words wárdz, but with a heartfelt hártfelt desire dizáiar to be heard hárd. This is a prayer prér that contains kantéinz much, and by it more is obtained abtéind than by many reflections riflékshanz of the understanding andarsténding. Let lét the will stir stár up some of those reasons rízanz, which proceed prasíd from reason rízan itself itsélf, to quicken kwíkan its love láv, such as the fact fékt of its being in a better bétar state stéit, and let lét it make certain sártan acts ékts of love láv, as what it will do for Him to whom húm it owes óuz so much,—and that, as I said just now, without any noise nóiz of the understanding andarsténding, in the search sárch after profound proufáund reflections riflékshanz. A little straw stró,—and it will be less lés than straw stró, if we bring bríng it ourselves auarsélvz,—laid léid on with humility hyumíliti, will be more effectual here, and will help hélp to kindle kíndal a fire fáiar more than many fagots of most learned lárnd reasons rízanz, which, in my opinion apínyan, will put it out in a moment móumant.

12. This is good for those learned lárnd men mén who have commanded kaméndad me to write ráit, [10] and who all, by the goodness gúdnas of God gád, have come to this state stéit; for it may be that they spend spénd the time in making méiking applications eplakéishanz of passages pésajaz of the Scriptures skrípcharz. And though dhóu learning lárning could not fail féil to be of great use to them, both before and after prayer prér, still, in the very time of prayer prér itself itsélf, there is little necessity nasésati for it, in my opinion apínyan, unless anlés it be for the purpose párpas of making méiking the will tepid tépid; for the understanding andarsténding then, because of its nearness to the light láit, is itself itsélf illuminated ilúmaneitad; so that even I, who am ém what I am ém, seem sím to be a different person pársan. And so it is; for it has happened hépand to me, who scarcely skérsli understand andarsténd a word wárd of what I read réd in Latin létan, and specially spéshali in the Psalms sálmz, when in the prayer prér of quiet kwáiat, not only to understand andarsténd the Latin létan as if it were Spanish spénish, but, still more, to take a delight diláit in dwelling dwéling on the meaning míning of that I knew through the Spanish spénish. We must make an exception iksépshan: if these learned lárnd men mén have to preach prích or to teach tích, they will do well to take advantage edvéntij of their learning lárning, that they may help hélp poor púr people of little learning lárning, of whom húm I am ém one. Charity chériti is a great thing thíng; and so always is ministering mínistring unto ántu souls sóulz, when done dán simply símpli for God gád.

13. So, then, when the soul sóul is in the prayer prér of quiet kwáiat, let lét it repose ripóuz in its rest rést—let lét learning lárning be put on one side sáid. The time will come when they may make use of it in the service sárvas of our Lord lórd—when they that possess pazés it will appreciate apríshieit it so highly háili as to be glad gléd that they had not neglected nagléktad it even for all the treasures trézharz of the world, simply símpli because it enables enéibalz them to serve sárv His Majesty méjasti; for it is a great help hélp. But in the eyes áiz of Infinite ínfanat Wisdom wízdam, believe bilív me, a little striving stráiving after humility hyumíliti, and a single síngal act ékt thereof dheráv, are worth wárth more than all the science sáians in the world. This is not the time for discussing diskásing, but for understanding andarsténding plainly pléinli what we are, and presenting prizénting ourselves auarsélvz in simplicity simplísati before God gád, who will have the soul sóul make itself itsélf as a fool fúl—as, indeed indíd, it is—in His presence prézans, seeing síing that His Majesty méjasti so humbles hámbalz Himself himsélf as to suffer sáfar it to be near nír Him, we being what we are.

14. Moreover moróuvar, the understanding andarsténding bestirs itself itsélf to make its thanksgiving thenksgíving in phrases fréizaz well arranged aréinjd; but the will, in peace pís, not daring déring to lift líft up its eyes áiz with the publican, [11] makes méiks perhaps parhéps a better bétar act ékt of thanksgiving thenksgíving than the understanding andarsténding, with all the tropes of its rhetoric rétarik. In a word wárd, mental méntal prayer prér is not to be abandoned abéndand altogether oltagédhar now, nor nór even vocal vóukal prayer prér, if at any time we wish wísh, or can, to make use of either ídhar of them; for if the state stéit of quiet kwáiat be profound proufáund, it becomes bikámz difficult dífakalt to speak spík, and it can be done dán only with great pain péin.

15. I believe bilív myself maisélf that we know whether wédhar this proceeds prasídz from the Spirit spírat of God gád, or is brought brót about by endeavours of our own, in the commencement kaménsmant of devotion divóushan which God gád gives gívz; and we seek sík of ourselves auarsélvz, as I said before, [12] to pass pés onwards ánwardz to this quiet kwáiat of the will. Then, no effect ifékt whatever watévar is produced pradúst; it is quickly kwíkli over, and aridity is the result rizált. If it comes kámz from Satan séitan, the practised soul sóul, in my opinion apínyan, will detect ditékt it, because it leaves lívz trouble trábal behind biháind, and scant sként humility hyumíliti and poor púr dispositions dispazíshanz for those effects ifékts which are wrought rót if it comes kámz from God gád; it leaves lívz neither nídhar light láit in the understanding andarsténding nor nór steadiness stédinis in the truth trúth. [13]

16. Here Satan séitan can do little or no harm hárm, if the soul sóul directs darékts unto ántu God gád the joy jói and sweetness swítnas it then feels fílz; and if it fixes fíksiz the thoughts thóts and desires dizáiarz on Him, according akórding to the advice edváis already olrédi given, the devil déval can gain géin nothing náthing whatever watévar—on the contrary kántreri, by the permission parmíshan of God gád, he will lose lúz much by that very joy jói which he causes kázaz in the soul sóul, because that joy jói will help hélp the soul sóul, inasmuch inésmak as it thinks thínks the joy jói comes kámz from God gád, to betake bitéik itself itsélf often ófan to prayer prér in its desire dizáiar for it. And if the soul sóul is humble hámbal, indifferent indífrant to, and detached ditécht from, all joy jói, however spiritual spírichawal, and if it loves lávz the cross krós, it will make no account akáunt of the sweetness swítnas which Satan séitan sends séndz. But it cannot kénat so deal díl with that which comes kámz from the Spirit spírat of God gád; of that it will make much. Now, when Satan séitan sends séndz it, as he is nothing náthing but a lie lái, and when he sees síz that the soul sóul humbles hámbalz itself itsélf through that joy jói and sweetness swítnas—and here, in all things relating riléiting to prayer prér and sweetness swítnas, we must be very careful kérfal to endeavour indévar to make ourselves auarsélvz humble hámbal,—Satan séitan will not often ófan repeat ripít his work, when he sees síz that he loses lúzaz by it.

17. For this and for many other reasons rízanz, when I was speaking spíking of the first degree digrí of prayer prér, and of the first method méthad of drawing dróing the water wótar, [14] I insisted insístad upon apán it that the great affair afér of souls sóulz is, when they begin bigín to pray préi, to begin bigín also to detach ditéch themselves dhemsélvz from every kind káind of joy jói, and to enter éntar on it resolved rizálvd only on helping hélping to carry kéri the cross krós of Christ kráist like good soldiers sóuljarz, willing wíling to serve sárv their King kíng without present prézant pay péi, because they are sure shúr of it at last, having héving their eyes áiz directed daréktad to the true trú and everlasting evarlésting kingdom kíngdam at the conquest kánkwest of which we are aiming éiming.

18. It is a very great matter métar to have this always before our eyes áiz, especially aspéshli in the beginning bigíning; afterwards éftarwardz, it becomes bikámz so clear klír, that it is rather rédhar a matter métar of necessity nasésati to forget fargét it, in order órdar to live láiv on. Now, labouring to keep kíp in mind máind that all things here below bilóu are of short shórt duration dúréishan, that they are all nothing náthing, that the rest rést we have here is to be accounted akáuntad as none nán,—all this, I say, seems símz to be exceedingly iksídingli low lóu; and so, indeed indíd, it is,—because those who have gone gón on to greater gréitar perfection parfékshan would look upon apán it as a reproach ripróuch, and be ashamed ashéimd of themselves dhemsélvz, if they thought that they were giving gíving up the goods gúdz of this world because they are perishable périshabal, or that they would not be glad gléd to give them up for God gád—even if they were to last for ever évar. The greater gréitar the perfection parfékshan of these persons pársanz, the greater gréitar their joy jói, and the greater gréitar also would that joy jói be if the duration dúréishan of these worldly wárldli goods gúdz were greater gréitar.

19. In these persons pársanz, thus dhás far fár advanced advénst, love láv is already olrédi grown gróun, and love láv is that which does this work. But as to beginners bigínarz, to them it is of the utmost átmoust importance impórtans, and they must not regard ragárd this consideration kansidaréishan as unbecoming anbikáming, for the blessings blésingz to be gained géind are great,—and that is why I recommend rekaménd it so much to them; for they will have need of it—even those who have attained atéind to great heights háits of prayer prér—at certain sártan times táimz, when God gád will try trái them, and when His Majesty méjasti seems símz to have forsaken forséikan them.

20. I have said as much already olrédi, and I would not have it forgotten fargátan, [15] in this our life on earth árth, the growth gróuth of the soul sóul is not like that of the body bádi. We, however, so speak spík of it—and, in truth trúth, it does grow gróu. A youth yúth that is grown gróun up, whose húz body bádi is formed fórmd, and who is become bikám a man, does not ungrow, nor nór does his body bádi lessen lésan in size sáiz; but as to the soul sóul, it so is by our Lord's lórd will, so far fár as I have seen sín it in my own experience ikspírians,—but I know nothing náthing of it in any other way. It must be in order órdar to humble hámbal us for our greater gréitar good, and to keep kíp us from being careless kérlas during our exile égzail; seeing síing that he who has ascended aséndad the higher háiar has the more reason rízan to be afraid afréid, and to be less lés confident kánfadant in himself himsélf. A time may come when they whose húz will is so wrapt up in the will of God gád—and who, rather rédhar than fall fól into a single síngal imperfection imparfékshan, would undergo andargóu torture tórchar and suffer sáfar a thousand tháuzand deaths déths—will find it necessary nésaseri, if they would be delivered dilívard from offending afénding God gád, and from the commission kamíshan of sin sín, to make use of the first armour ármar of prayer prér, to call kól to mind máind how everything évrithing is coming káming to an end, that there is a heaven hévan and a hell hél, and to make use of other reflections riflékshanz of that nature néichar, when they find themselves dhemsélvz assailed aséild by temptations temtéishanz and persecutions parsakyúshans.

21. Let lét us go back to what I was saying séiing. The great source sórs of our deliverance dilívarans from the cunning káning devices diváisaz and the sweetness swítnas which Satan séitan sends séndz is to begin bigín with a resolution rezalúshan to walk wók in the way of the Cross krós from the very first, and not to desire dizáiar any sweetness swítnas at all, seeing síing that our Lord lórd Himself himsélf has pointed póintad out to us the way of perfection parfékshan, saying séiing, "Take up thy dhái cross krós and follow fálou Me." [16] He is our example igzémpal; and whosoever husouévar follows fálouz His counsels káunsalz only to please plíz Him has nothing náthing to fear fír. In the improvement imprúvmant which they detect ditékt in themselves dhemsélvz, they who do so will see that this is no work of Satan séitan and if they fall fól, they have a sign sáin of the presence prézans of our Lord lórd in their rising ráizing again at once wáns. They have other signs sáinz, also, of which I am ém going to speak spík.

22. When it is the work of the Spirit spírat of God gád, there is no necessity nasésati for going about searching sárching for reasons rízanz, on the strength strénkth of which we may elicit ilísit acts ékts of humility hyumíliti and of shame shéim, because our Lord lórd Himself himsélf supplies sapláiz them in a way very different from that by which we could acquire akwáiar them by our own poor púr reflections riflékshanz, which are as nothing náthing in comparison kampérasan with that real ríl humility hyumíliti arising aráizing out of the light láit which our Lord lórd here gives gívz us, and which begets bigéts a confusion kanfyúzhan of face féis that undoes us. The knowledge nálaj with which God gád supplies sapláiz us, in order órdar that we may know that of ourselves auarsélvz we have no good in us, is perfectly párfaktli apprehended eprihéndad—and the more perfectly párfaktli, the greater gréitar the graces gréisiz. It fills fílz us with a great desire dizáiar of advancing advénsing in prayer prér, and of never giving gíving it up, whatever watévar troubles trábalz may arise aráiz. The soul sóul offers ófarz to suffer sáfar everything évrithing. A certain sártan security sikyúrati, joined jóind with humility hyumíliti and fear fír concerning kansárning our salvation selvéishan, casts késts out servile sárval fear fír at once wáns from the soul sóul, and in its place plants plénts a loyal lóial fear fír [17] of more perfect parfékt growth gróuth. [18] There is a visible vízabal beginning bigíning of a love láv of God gád, utterly átarli divested daivéstid of all self-interest sélf-íntrast, together tagédhar with a longing lónging after seasons sízanz of solitude sálatud, in order órdar to obtain abtéin a greater gréitar fruition fruíshan of this good.

23. In short shórt, not to weary wíri myself maisélf, it is the beginning bigíning of all good; the flowers fláuarz have so thriven, that they are on the point of budding báding. And this the soul sóul sees síz most clearly klírli, and it is impossible impásabal to persuade parswéid it now that God gád was not with it, till tíl it turns tárnz back upon apán itself itsélf, and beholds its own failings féilingz and imperfections imparfékshanz. Then it fears fírz for everything évrithing; and it is well it should do so—though dhóu there are souls sóulz whom húm the certain sártan conviction kanvíkshan that God gád is with them benefits bénafits more than all the fear fír they may ever évar have. If a soul sóul love láv greatly gréitli, and is thankful thénkfal naturally nécharali, the remembrance rimémbrans of the mercies mársiz of God gád makes méiks it turn tárn to Him more effectually than all the chastisements of hell hél it can ever évar picture píkchar to itself itsélf—at least líst, it was so with me, though dhóu I am ém so wicked wíkad.

24. As I shall shél speak spík at greater gréitar length lénkth of the signs sáinz of a good spirit spírat [19]—it has cost kást me much labour léibaur to be clear klír about them—I do not treat trít of them here. I believe bilív, too, that, with the help hélp of God gád, I shall shél be able éibal to speak spík somewhat sámwát to the point, because—setting séting aside asáid the experience ikspírians I have had, and by which I learned lárnd much—I have had the help hélp of some most learned lárnd men mén and persons pársanz of great holiness hóulinas, whom húm we may reasonably rízanabli believe bilív in the matter métar. Souls sóulz, therefore dhérfor, are not to weary wíri themselves dhemsélvz so much as I did, when, by the goodness gúdnas of our Lord lórd, they may have come to this state stéit.

1. See Way of Perfection parfékshan, ch. liii., but ch. xxxii of the old edition adíshan.

2. St strít. Matt mét. xvii. 4: "Bonum bánam est astéit nos hic esse és."

3. See ch. xvii. section sékshan 6.

4. Ch. x. section sékshan 1.

5. Ch. xiv. sections sékshanz 3, 4.

6. Ch. x. section sékshan 9.

7. Ch. xviii. section sékshan 4, and ch. xxi. section sékshan 9.

8. Section sékshan 3.

9. Section sékshan 5.

10. Ch. x. section sékshan 1.

11. St strít. Luke lúk xviii. 13: "Nolebat nec nék oculos ad éd coelum levare."

12. Ch. xii. section sékshan 5.

13. "Firmeza en én la verdad." Francisco frensískou de St strít. Thoma thóuma, in his Medulla midála Mystica, p. 204, quoting kwóuting this passage pésaj, has, "firmeza en én la voluntad." Philip fílap a SS. Trinitate, Theolog. Mystic místik. p. 354, and his Abbreviator, Anton énton. a Sp. Sancto, Direct darékt. Mystic místik. tr. iv. disp. i. section sékshan 11, n. 94, seem sím also to have preferred prafárd "voluntad" to "verdad;" for the words wárdz they use are, "nec nék intellectui lux láks nec nék voluntati firmitas;" and, "defectus lucis in intellectu, et ét firmitatis in voluntate."

14. Ch. xi shí. section sékshan 16.

15. Ch. xiii. section sékshan 23.

16. St strít. Matt mét. xvi. 24: "Tollat crucem suam et ét sequatur Me."

17. "Fiel fíl temor." In the previous prívias editions idíshanz it was filial fílial.

18. Ch. xi shí. section sékshan 1.

19. See ch. xxv.

Chapter chéptar XVI.

The Third thárd State stéit of Prayer prér. Deep díp Matters métarz. What the Soul sóul Can Do That Has Reached rícht It. Effects ifékts of the Great Graces gréisiz of Our Lord lórd.

1. Let lét us now speak spík of the third thárd water wótar wherewith this garden gárdan is watered wótard,—water wótar running ráning from a river rívar or from a brook brúk,—whereby werbái the garden gárdan is watered wótard with very much less lés trouble trábal, although there is some in directing darékting the water wótar. [1] In this state stéit our Lord lórd will help hélp the gardener gárdanar, and in such a way as to be, as it were, the Gardener gárdanar Himself himsélf, doing dúing all the work. It is a sleep slíp of the powers páuarz of the soul sóul, which are not wholly hóuli lost lóst, nor nór yet yét understanding andarsténding how they are at work. The pleasure plézhar, sweetness swítnas, and delight diláit are incomparably inkámparabli greater gréitar than in the former fórmar state stéit of prayer prér; and the reason rízan is, that the waters wótarz of grace gréis have risen rízan up to the neck nék of the soul sóul, so that it can neither nídhar advance advéns nor nór retreat ritrít—nor nór does it know how to do so; it seeks síks only the fruition fruíshan of exceeding iksíding bliss blís. It is like a dying dáiing man with the candle kéndal in his hand hénd, on the point of dying dáiing the death déth desired dizáiard. It is rejoicing rijóising in this agony égani with unutterable joy jói; to me it seems símz to be nothing náthing else éls but a death déth, as it were, to all the things of this world, and a fruition fruíshan of God gád. I know of no other words wárdz whereby werbái to describe diskráib it or to explain ikspléin it; neither nídhar does the soul sóul then know what to do,—for it knows nóuz not whether wédhar to speak spík or be silent sáilant, whether wédhar it should laugh léf or weep wíp. It is a glorious glórias folly fáli, a heavenly hévanli madness médnas, wherein werín true trú wisdom wízdam is acquired akwáiard; and to the soul sóul a kind káind of fruition fruíshan most full fúl of delight diláit. [2]

2. It is now some five or six síks years, I believe bilív, since our Lord lórd raised réizd me to this state stéit of prayer prér, in its fulness, and that more than once wáns,—and I never understood andarstúd it, and never could explain ikspléin it; and so I was resolved rizálvd, when I should come thus dhás far fár in my story stóri, to say very little or nothing náthing at all. I knew well enough ináf that it was not altogether oltagédhar the union yúnyan of all the faculties fékaltiz, and yet yét most certainly sártanli it was higher háiar than the previous prívias state stéit of prayer prér; but I confess kanfés that I could not determine datárman and understand andarsténd the difference dífarans.

3. The humility hyumíliti of your reverence révarans, willing wíling to be helped hélpt by a simplicity simplísati so great as mine máin, has been the cause káz, I believe bilív, why our Lord lórd, to-day túdéi, after Communion kamyúnyan, admitted admítad me to this state stéit of prayer prér, without the power páuar of going further fárdhar, and suggested sagjéstad to me these comparisons kampérasanz, and taught tót me how to speak spík of it, and of what the soul sóul must do therein dherín. Certainly sártanli, I was amazed améizd, and in a moment móumant understood andarstúd it all. I have often ófan been thus dhás, as it were, beside bisáid myself maisélf, drunk dránk with love láv, and yet yét never could understand andarsténd how it was. I knew well that it was the work of God gád, but I never was able éibal to understand andarsténd the manner ménar of His working wárking here; for, in fact fékt, the faculties fékaltiz are almost ólmoust all completely kamplítli in union yúnyan, yet yét not so absorbed abzórbd that they do not act ékt. I have been singularly síngyalarli delighted diláitad in that I have been able éibal to comprehend kamprihénd the matter métar at last. Blessed blést be our Lord lórd, who has thus dhás consoled kansóuld me!

4. The faculties fékaltiz of the soul sóul now retain ritéin only the power páuar of occupying ákyapaiing themselves dhemsélvz wholly hóuli with God gád; not one of them ventures véncharz to stir stár, neither nídhar can we move múv one of them without making méiking great efforts éfarts to distract distrékt ourselves auarsélvz—and, indeed indíd, I do not think we can do it at all at this time. Many words wárdz are then uttered átard in praise préiz of God gád—but disorderly disórdarli, unless anlés it be that our Lord lórd orders órdarz them himself himsélf. At least líst, the understanding andarsténding is utterly átarli powerless páuarlas here; the soul sóul longs lóngz to send sénd forth fórth words wárdz of praise préiz, but it has no control kantróul over itself itsélf,—it is in a state stéit of sweet swít restlessness réstlasnas. The flowers fláuarz are already olrédi opening óupaning; they are beginning bigíning to send sénd forth fórth their fragrance fréigrans.

5. The soul sóul in this state stéit would have all men mén behold bihóuld and know of its bliss blís, to the praise préiz of God gád, and help hélp it to praise préiz Him. It would have them to be partakers of its joy jói; for its joy jói is greater gréitar than it can bear bér. It seems símz to me that it is like the woman wúman in the Gospel gáspal, who would, or used to, call kól in her neighbours. [3] The admirable édmarabal spirit spírat of David déivid, the royal róial prophet práfat, must have felt félt in the same way, so it seems símz to me, when he played pléid on the harp hárp, singing sínging the praises préizaz of God gád. I have a very great devotion divóushan to this glorious glórias king kíng; [4] and I wish wísh all had it, particularly partíkyalarli those who are sinners sínarz like myself maisélf.

6. O my God gád, what must that soul sóul be when it is in this state stéit? It wishes wíshiz it were all tongue táng, in order órdar that it may praise préiz our Lord lórd. It utters átarz a thousand tháuzand holy hóuli follies fáliz, striving stráiving continually kantínyuali to please plíz Him by whom húm it is thus dhás possessed pazést. I know one [5] who, though dhóu she was no poet póuat, yet yét composed kampóuzd, without any preparation preparéishan, certain sártan stanzas sténzaz, full fúl of feeling fíling, most expressive iksprésiv of her pain péin: they were not the work of her own understanding andarsténding; but, in order órdar to have a greater gréitar fruition fruíshan of that bliss blís which so sweet swít a pain péin occasioned akéizhand her, she complained kampléind of it in that way to God gád. She was willing wíling to be cut kát in pieces písaz, soul sóul and body bádi, to show shóu the delight diláit she felt félt in that pain péin. To what torments tórments could she be then exposed ikspóuzd, that would not be delicious dilíshas to endure endyúr for her Lord lórd? She sees síz clearly klírli that the martyrs mártarz did little or nothing náthing, so far fár as they were concerned kansárnd, when they endured endyúrd their tortures tórcharz, because the soul sóul is well aware awér that its strength strénkth is derived daráivd from another source sórs.

7. But what will be its sufferings sáfaringz when it returns ritárnz to the use of the senses sénsiz, to live láiv in the world, and go back to the anxieties engzáiatiz and the fashions féshanz thereof dheráv? I do not think that I have exaggerated igzéjareitad in any way, but rather rédhar have fallen fálan short shórt, in speaking spíking of that joy jói, which our Lord lórd, of His good pleasure plézhar, gives gívz to the soul sóul in this its exile égzail. Blessed blést for ever évar be Thou dháu, O Lord lórd! and may all created kriéitad things praise préiz Thee dhí for ever évar!

8. O my King kíng, seeing síing that I am ém now, while writing ráiting this, still under the power páuar of this heavenly hévanli madness médnas, an effect ifékt of Thy dhái mercy mársi and goodness gúdnas,—and it is a mercy mársi I never deserved dizárvd,—grant grént, I beseech bisích Thee dhí, that all those with whom húm I may have to converse kánvars may become bikám mad méd through Thy dhái love láv, or let lét me converse kánvars with none nán, or so order órdar it that I may have nothing náthing to do in the world, or take me away awéi from it. This Thy dhái servant sárvant, O my God gád, is no longer lóngar able éibal to endure endyúr sufferings sáfaringz so great as those are which she must bear bér when she sees síz herself harsélf without Thee dhí if she must live láiv, she seeks síks no repose ripóuz in this life,—and do Thou dháu give her none nán. This my soul sóul longs lóngz to be free frí—eating íting is killing kíling it, and sleep slíp is wearisome wírisam; it sees síz itself itsélf wasting wéisting the time of this life in comforts kámfarts, and that there is no comfort kámfart for it now but in Thee dhí; it seems símz to be living líving contrary kántreri to nature néichar—for now, it desires dizáiarz to live láiv not in itself itsélf, but in Thee dhí.

9. O my true trú Lord lórd and my happiness hépinas! what a cross krós hast hést Thou dháu prepared pripérd for those who attain atéin to this state stéit!—light láit and most heavy hévi at the same time: light láit, because sweet swít; heavy hévi, because now and then there is no patience péishans left to endure endyúr it—and yet yét the soul sóul never wishes wíshiz to be delivered dilívard from it, unless anlés it be that it may come to Thee dhí. When the soul sóul remembers rimémbarz that it has never served sárvd Thee dhí at all, and that by living líving on it may do Thee dhí some service sárvas, it longs lóngz for a still heavier héviar cross krós, and never to die dái before the end of the world. Its own repose ripóuz it counts káunts as nothing náthing in comparison kampérasan with doing dúing a slight sláit service sárvas to Thee dhí. It knows nóuz not what to desire dizáiar; but it clearly klírli understands andarsténdz that it desires dizáiarz nothing náthing else éls but Thee dhí.

10. O my son sán, [6] so humble hámbal is he to whom húm this writing ráiting is directed daréktad, and who has commanded kaméndad me to write ráit, that he suffers sáfarz himself himsélf to be thus dhás addressed adrést,—you, my father fádhar, only must see these things, in which I seem sím to have transgressed trenzgrést all bounds báundz; for no reason rízan can keep kíp me reasonable rízanabal when our Lord lórd draws dróz me out of myself maisélf. Since my communion kamyúnyan this morning mórning, [7] I do not believe bilív that I am ém the person pársan who is speaking spíking; I seem sím to be dreaming dríming the things I see, and I wish wísh I might never see any but people ill íl, as I am ém now. I beseech bisích you, my father fádhar, let lét us all be mad méd, for the love láv of Him who for our sakes séiks suffered sáfard men mén to say of Him that He was mad méd. [8]

11. You, my father fádhar, say that you wish wísh me well. I wish wísh you would prove prúv it by disposing dispóuzing yourself yarsélf so that God gád may bestow bistóu this grace gréis upon apán you; for I see very few people who have not too much sense séns for everything évrithing they have to do: and it may be that I have more than anybody énibadi else éls. Your reverence révarans must not allow aláu it; you are my father fádhar, for you are my confessor, and the person pársan to whom húm I have trusted trástid my soul sóul; disperse dispárs my delusions dilúzhanz by telling téling the truth trúth; for truths trúths of this sort sórt are very rarely rérli told tóuld.

12. I wish wísh we five, who now love láv one another in our Lord lórd, had made some such arrangement aréinjmant as this: as others ádharz in these times táimz have met mét together tagédhar in secret síkrat [9] to plot plát wickedness wíkadnas and heresies against His Majesty méjasti, so we might contrive kantráiv to meet mít together tagédhar now and then, in order órdar to undeceive one another, to tell tél each other wherein werín we might improve imprúv ourselves auarsélvz, and be more pleasing plízing unto ántu God gád; for there is no one that knows nóuz himself himsélf as well as he is known nóun of others ádharz who see him, if it be with eyes áiz of love láv and the wish wísh to do him good. I say; in secret síkrat; for language léngwaj of this kind káind is no longer lóngar in use; even preachers prícharz go about arranging aréinjing their sermons sármanz so as to displease displíz no one. [10] They have a good intention inténchan, and their work is good; yet yét still few amend aménd their lives lívz. But how is it that they are not many who, in consequence kánsakwans of these sermons sármanz, abstain abstéin from public páblik sins sínz? Well, I think it is because the preachers prícharz are highly háili sensible sénsabal men mén. They are not burning bárning with the great fire fáiar of the love láv of God gád, as the Apostles apásalz were, casting késting worldly wárldli prudence prúdans aside asáid; and so their fire fáiar throws thróuz out but little heat hít. I do not say that their fire fáiar ought ót to burn bárn like that of the Apostles apásalz, but I do wish wísh it were a stronger stróngar fire fáiar than I see it is. Do you, my father fádhar, know wherein werín much of this fire fáiar consists kansísts? In the hatred héitrad of this life, in the desertion dizárshan of its honours, in being utterly átarli indifferent indífrant whether wédhar we lose lúz or gain géin anything énithing or everything évrithing, provided praváidad the truth trúth be told tóuld and maintained meintéind for the glory glóri of God gád; for he who is courageously karéijasli in earnest árnist for God gád, looks lúks upon apán loss lós or gain géin indifferently. I do not say that I am ém a person pársan of this kind káind, but I wish wísh I was.

13. Oh, grand grénd freedom frídam, to regard ragárd it as a captivity keptívati to be obliged abláijd to live láiv and converse kánvars with men mén according akórding to the laws lóz of the world! It is the gift gíft of our Lord lórd; there is not a slave sléiv who would not imperil impéral everything évrithing that he might escape iskéip and return ritárn to his country kántri; and as this is the true trú road róud, there is no reason rízan why we should linger língar; for we shall shél never effectually gain géin a treasure trézhar so great, so long as this life is not ended éndad. May our Lord lórd give us His grace gréis for that end! You, my father fádhar, if it shall shél seem sím good to you, will tear tér up what I have written rítan, and consider kansídar it as a letter létar for yourself yarsélf alone alóun, and forgive fargív me that I have been very bold bóuld.

1. "The third thárd degree digrí, or third thárd water wótar, of the Saint séint, must begin bigín, I think, with the prayer prér of infused infyúzd recollection rekalékshan, include inklúd that of infused infyúzd quiet kwáiat, and end in that of inebriation; because it is not in our power páuar to draw dró this water wótar—all we can do is to direct darékt the stream strím." (Francis frénsas. de St strít. Thoma thóuma, Medulla midála Mystica, tr. iv. ch. xii. p. 208).

2. See St strít. John ján of the Cross krós, Spirit spírat. Canticle, stanza sténza xvii. vol. ii. p. 98, Engl. trans trénz.

3. St strít. Luke lúk xv. 9: "Convocat amicas et ét vicinas."

4. Foundations faundéishanz, ch. xxix. section sékshan 9.

5. The Saint séint herself harsélf (De la Fuente fwéntei).

6. This was either ídhar F. Ybanez ibéniz or the Inquisitor inkwízatar Soto sóutou, if the expression ikspréshan did not occur akár in the first Life. F. Dom dám. Banes béinz struck strák out "son sán," and wrote róut "father fádhar" in its place, omitting oumíting the words wárdz, "so humble hámbal is he" (De la Fuente fwéntei).

7. See section sékshan 3, above abáv.

8. St strít. John ján x. 20: "Daemonium habet et ét insanit."

9. The Saint séint refers rafárz to the secret síkrat meetings mítingz of heretics in Valladolid, under the direction darékshan of a fallen fálan priest príst, the Doctor dáktar Agostino agostínou Cazalla, whose húz vanity vénati led léd him to imitate ímateit Luther lúthar. Some nuns nánz in Valladolid were imprisoned imprízand, Cazalla strangled stréngald, and his body bádi burnt bárnt, in 1559 (De la Fuente fwéntei).

10. Father fádhar Banes béinz wrote róut here on the margin márjan of the Saint's séint MS míz, "Legant praedicatores" (De la Fuente fwéntei).

Chapter chéptar XVII.

The Third thárd State stéit of Prayer prér. The Effects ifékts Thereof dheráv. The Hindrance híndrans Caused kázd by the Imagination imejanéishan and the Memory mémari.

1. Enough ináf has been said of this manner ménar of prayer prér, and of what the soul sóul has to do, or rather rédhar, to speak spík more correctly karéktli, of what God gád is doing dúing within it; for it is He who now takes téiks upon apán Himself himsélf the gardener's gárdanar work, and who will have the soul sóul take its ease íz; except iksépt that the will is consenting kansénting to the graces gréisiz, the fruition fruíshan of which it has, and that it must resign rizáin itself itsélf to all that the True trú Wisdom wízdam would accomplish akámplish in it—for which it is certain sártan it has need of courage káraj; because the joy jói is so great, that the soul sóul seems símz now and then to be on the very point of going forth fórth out of the body bádi: and what a blessed blést death déth that would be! Now, I think it is for the soul's sóul good—as you, my father fádhar, have been told tóuld—to abandon abéndan itself itsélf into the arms ármz of God gád altogether oltagédhar; if He will take it to heaven hévan, let lét it go; if to hell hél, no matter métar, as it is going thither with its sovereign sávran Good. If life is to come to an end for ever évar, so it wills wílz; if it is to last a thousand tháuzand years, it wills wílz that also: His Majesty méjasti may do with it as with His own property práparti,—the soul sóul no longer lóngar belongs bilóngz to itself itsélf, it has been given wholly hóuli to our Lord lórd; let lét it cast kést all care kér utterly átarli away awéi.

2. My meaning míning is that, in a state stéit of prayer prér, so high hái as this, the soul sóul understands andarsténdz that God gád is doing dúing His work without any fatiguing fatíging of the understanding andarsténding, except iksépt that, as it seems símz to me, it is as if amazed améizd in beholding bihóulding our Lord lórd taking téiking upon apán Himself himsélf the work of the good gardener gárdanar, refusing rafyúzing to let lét the soul sóul undergo andargóu any labour léibaur whatever watévar, but that of taking téiking its pleasure plézhar in the flowers fláuarz beginning bigíning to send sénd forth fórth their fragrance fréigrans; for when God gád raises réizaz a soul sóul up to this state stéit, it can do all this, and much more,—for these are the effects ifékts of it.

3. In one of these visits vízats, how brief bríf soever it may be, the Gardener gárdanar, being who He is,—in a word wárd, the Creator kriéitar of the water wótar,—pours pórz the water wótar without stint stínt; and what the poor púr soul sóul, with the labour léibaur, perhaps parhéps, of twenty twénti years in fatiguing fatíging the understanding andarsténding, could not bring bríng about, that the heavenly hévanli Gardener gárdanar accomplishes akámplishiz in an instant ínstant, causing kázing the fruit frút both to grow gróu and ripen ráipan; so that the soul sóul, such being the will of our Lord lórd, may derive daráiv its sustenance sástanans from its garden gárdan. But He allows aláuz it not to divide diváid the fruit frút with others ádharz, until by eating íting thereof dheráv, it is strong stróng enough ináf not to waste wéist it in the mere mír tasting téisting of it,—giving gíving to Him none nán of the produce pradús, nor nór making méiking any compensation kampanséishan for it to Him who supplies sapláiz it,—lest lést it should be maintaining meintéining others ádharz, feeding fíding them at its own cost kást, and itself itsélf perhaps parhéps dying dáiing of hunger hángar. [1] The meaning míning of this is perfectly párfaktli clear klír for those who have understanding andarsténding enough ináf to apply aplái it—much more clear klír than I can make it; and I am ém tired táiard.

4. Finally fáinali, the virtues várchuz are now stronger stróngar than they were during the preceding prisíding prayer prér of quiet kwáiat; for the soul sóul sees síz itself itsélf to be other than it was, and it knows nóuz not how it is beginning bigíning to do great things in the odour which the flowers fláuarz send sénd forth fórth; it being our Lord's lórd will that the flowers fláuarz should open óupan, in order órdar that the soul sóul may believe bilív itself itsélf to be in possession pazéshan of virtue várchu; though dhóu it sees síz most clearly klírli that it cannot kénat, and never could, acquire akwáiar them in many years, and that the heavenly hévanli Gardener gárdanar has given them to it in that instant ínstant. Now, too, the humility hyumíliti of the soul sóul is much greater gréitar and deeper dípar than it was before; because it sees síz more clearly klírli that it did neither nídhar much nor nór little, beyond biánd giving gíving its consent kansént that our Lord lórd might work those graces gréisiz in it, and then accepting eksépting them willingly wílingli.

5. This state stéit of prayer prér seems símz to me to be a most distinct distínkt union yúnyan of the whole hóul soul sóul with God gád, but for this, that His Majesty méjasti appears apírz to give the faculties fékaltiz leave lív to be intent intént upon apán, and have the fruition fruíshan of, the great work He is doing dúing then. It happens hépanz at times táimz, and indeed indíd very often ófan, that, the will being in union yúnyan, the soul sóul should be aware awér of it, and see that the will is a captive képtiv and in joy jói, that the will alone alóun is abiding abáiding in great peace pís,—while, on the other hand hénd, the understanding andarsténding and the memory mémari are so free frí, that they can be employed emplóid in affairs aférz and be occupied ákyapaid in works wárks of charity chériti. I say this, that you, my father fádhar, may see it is so, and understand andarsténd the matter métar when it shall shél happen hépan to yourself yarsélf; at least líst, it carried kérid me out of myself maisélf, and that is the reason rízan why I speak spík of it here.

6. It differs dífarz from the prayer prér of quiet kwáiat, of which I have spoken spóukan, [2] though dhóu it does seem sím as if it were all one with it. In that prayer prér, the soul sóul, which would willingly wílingli neither nídhar stir stár nor nór move múv, is delighting diláiting in the holy hóuli repose ripóuz of Mary méri; but in this prayer prér it can be like Martha mártha also. [3] Accordingly akórdingli, the soul sóul is, as it were, living líving the active éktiv and contemplative kantémplativ life at once wáns, and is able éibal to apply aplái itself itsélf to works wárks of charity chériti and the affairs aférz of its state stéit, and to spiritual spírichawal reading réding. Still, those who arrive aráiv at this state stéit, are not wholly hóuli masters méstarz of themselves dhemsélvz, and are well aware awér that the better bétar part of the soul sóul is elsewhere élswer. It is as if we were speaking spíking to one person pársan, and another speaking spíking to us at the same time, while we ourselves auarsélvz are not perfectly párfaktli attentive aténtiv either ídhar to the one or the other. It is a state stéit that is most easily ízali ascertained esartéind, and one, when attained atéind to, that ministers mínastarz great joy jói and contentment kanténtmant, and that prepares pripérz the soul sóul in the highest háiast degree digrí, by observing abzárving times táimz of solitude sálatud, or of freedom frídam from business bíznas, for the attainment atéinmant of the most tranquil trénkwal quietude. It is like the life of a man who is full fúl, requiring rikwáiaring no food fúd, with his appetite épatait satisfied sétasfaid, so that he will not eat ít of everything évrithing set before him, yet yét not so full fúl either ídhar as to refuse rafyúz to eat ít if he saw any desirable dizáirabal food fúd. So the soul sóul has no satisfaction setasfékshan in the world, and seeks síks no pleasure plézhar in it then; because it has in itself itsélf that which gives gívz it a greater gréitar satisfaction setasfékshan, greater gréitar joys jóiz in God gád, longings lóngingz for the satisfaction setasfékshan of its longing lónging to have a deeper dípar joy jói in being with Him—this is what the soul sóul seeks síks.

7. There is another kind káind of union yúnyan, which, though dhóu not a perfect parfékt union yúnyan, is yet yét more so than the one of which I have just spoken spóukan; but not so much so as this spoken spóukan of as the third thárd water wótar. You, my father fádhar, will be delighted diláitad greatly gréitli if our Lord lórd should bestow bistóu them all upon apán you, if you have them not already olrédi, to find an account akáunt of the matter métar in writing ráiting, and to understand andarsténd it; for it is one grace gréis that our Lord lórd gives gívz grace gréis; and it is another grace gréis to understand andarsténd what grace gréis and what gift gíft it is; and it is another and further fárdhar grace gréis to have the power páuar to describe diskráib and explain ikspléin it to others ádharz. Though dhóu it does not seem sím that more than the first of these—the giving gíving of the grace gréis—is necessary nésaseri to enable enéibal the soul sóul to advance advéns without confusion kanfyúzhan and fear fír, and to walk wók with the greater gréitar courage káraj in the way of our Lord lórd, trampling trémpling under foot fút all the things of this world, it is a great advantage edvéntij and a great grace gréis to understand andarsténd it; for every one who has it has great reason rízan to praise préiz our Lord lórd; and so, also, has he who has it not: because His Majesty méjasti has bestowed bistóud it upon apán some person pársan living líving who is to make us profit práfat by it.

8. This union yúnyan, of which I would now speak spík, frequently fríkwantli occurs akárz, particularly partíkyalarli to myself maisélf. God gád has very often ófan bestowed bistóud such a grace gréis upon apán me, whereby werbái He constrains kanstréinz the will, and even the understanding andarsténding, as it seems símz to me, seeing síing that it makes méiks no reflections riflékshanz, but is occupied ákyapaid in the fruition fruíshan of God gád: like a person pársan who looks lúks on, and sees síz so many things, that he knows nóuz not where to look—one object ábjekt puts púts another out of sight sáit, and none nán of them leaves lívz any impression impréshan behind biháind.

9. The memory mémari remains riméinz free frí, and it must be so, together tagédhar with the imagination imejanéishan; and so, when it finds fáindz itself itsélf alone alóun, it is marvellous to behold bihóuld what war wór it makes méiks on the soul sóul, and how it labours to throw thróu everything évrithing into disorder disórdar. As for me, I am ém wearied wírid by it, and I hate héit it; and very often ófan do I implore implór our Lord lórd to deprive dipráiv me of it on these occasions akéizhanz, if I am ém to be so much troubled trábald by it. Now and then, I say to Him: O my God gád, when shall shél my soul sóul praise préiz Thee dhí without distraction distrékshan, not dissipated dísapeitid in this way, unable anéibal to control kantróul itself itsélf! I understand andarsténd now the mischief míschaf that sin sín has done dán, in that it has rendered réndard us unable anéibal to do what we desire dizáiar—to be always occupied ákyapaid in God gád. [4]

10. I say that it happens hépanz to me from time to time,—it has done dán so this very day, and so I remember rimémbar it well,—to see my soul sóul tear tér itself itsélf, in order órdar to find itself itsélf there where the greater gréitar part of it is, and to see, at the same time, that it is impossible impásabal: because the memory mémari and the imagination imejanéishan assail aséil it with such force fórs, that it cannot kénat prevail privéil against them; yet yét, as the other faculties fékaltiz give them no assistance asístans, they are not able éibal to do it any harm hárm—none nán whatever watévar; they do enough ináf when they trouble trábal its rest rést. When I say they do no harm hárm, my meaning míning is, that they cannot kénat really hurt hárt it, because they have not strength strénkth enough ináf, and because they are too discursive diskársiv. As the understanding andarsténding gives gívz no help hélp, neither nídhar much nor nór little, in the matters métarz put before the soul sóul, they never rest rést anywhere éniwer, but hurry hári to and fro fróu, like nothing náthing else éls but gnats néts at night náit, troublesome trábalsam and unquiet: and so they go about from one subject sabjékt to another.

11. This comparison kampérasan seems símz to me to be singularly síngyalarli to the purpose párpas; for the memory mémari and the imagination imejanéishan, though dhóu they have no power páuar to do any harm hárm, are very troublesome trábalsam. I know of no remedy rémadi for it; and, hitherto hídhartú, God gád has told tóuld me of none nán. If He had, most gladly glédli would I make use of it; for I am ém, as I say, tormented tórmentid very often ófan. This shows shóuz our wretchedness and brings bríngz out most distinctly distínktli the great power páuar of God gád, seeing síing that the faculty fékalti which is free frí hurts hárts and wearies us so much; while the others ádharz, occupied ákyapaid with His Majesty méjasti, give us rest rést.

12. The only remedy rémadi I have found, after many years of weariness wírinas, is that I spoke spóuk of when I was describing diskráibing the prayer prér of quiet kwáiat: [5] to make no more account akáunt of it than of a madman médmen, but let lét it go with its subject sabjékt; for God gád alone alóun can take it from it,—in short shórt, it is a slave sléiv here. We must bear bér patiently péishantli with it, as Jacob jéikab bore bór with Lia lía; for our Lord lórd showeth us mercy mársi enough ináf when we are allowed aláud to have Rachel réichal with us.

13. I say that it remains riméinz a slave sléiv; for, after all, let lét it do what it will, it cannot kénat drag drég the other faculties fékaltiz in its train tréin; on the contrary kántreri, they, without taking téiking any trouble trábal, compel kampél it to follow fálou after them. Sometimes samtáimz God gád is pleased plízd to take pity píti on it, when He sees síz it so lost lóst and so unquiet, through the longing lónging it has to be united yunáitad with the other faculties fékaltiz, and His Majesty méjasti consents kansénts to its burning bárning itself itsélf in the flame fléim of that divine diváin candle kéndal by which the others ádharz are already olrédi reduced radúst to ashes éshaz, and their nature néichar lost lóst, being, as it were, supernaturally in the fruition fruíshan of blessings blésingz so great.

14. In all these states stéits of prayer prér of which I have spoken spóukan, while explaining ikspléining this last method méthad of drawing dróing the water wótar out of the well, so great is the bliss blís and repose ripóuz of the soul sóul, that even the body bádi most distinctly distínktli shares shérz in its joy jói and delight diláit,—and this is most plain pléin; and the virtues várchuz continue kantínyu to grow gróu, as I said before. [6] It seems símz to have been the good pleasure plézhar of our Lord lórd to explain ikspléin these states stéits of prayer prér, wherein werín the soul sóul finds fáindz itself itsélf, with the utmost átmoust clearness possible pásabal, I think, here on earth árth.

15. Do you, my father fádhar, discuss diskás it with any spiritual spírichawal person pársan who has arrived aráivd at this state stéit, and is learned lárnd. If he says séz of it, it is well, you may believe bilív that God gád has spoken spóukan it, and you will give thanks thénks to His Majesty méjasti; for, as I said just now, [7] in the course kórs of time you will rejoice rijóis greatly gréitli in that you have understood andarstúd it. Meanwhile mínwail, if He does not allow aláu you to understand andarsténd what it is, though dhóu He does give you the possession pazéshan of it, yet yét, with your intellect íntalekt and learning lárning, seeing síing that His Majesty méjasti has given you the first, you will know what it is, by the help hélp of what I have written rítan here. Unto ántu Him be praise préiz for ever évar and ever évar! Amen eimén.

1. See ch. xix. section sékshan 4.

2. Ch. xv. section sékshan 1.

3. See Relation riléishan, viii. section sékshan 6; and Way of Perfection parfékshan, ch. liii., but ch xxxi. of former fórmar editions idíshanz. See also Concept kánsept. of the Love láv of God gád, ch. vii.

4. See Relation riléishan, viii. section sékshan 17.

5. Ch. xiv. section sékshan 4. See also Way of Perfection parfékshan, ch. liii., but ch. xxxi. of the old editions idíshanz.

6. Ch. xiv. section sékshan 6.

7. Section sékshan 7.

Chapter chéptar XVIII.

The Fourth fórth State stéit of Prayer prér. The Great Dignity dígnati of the Soul sóul Raised réizd to It by Our Lord lórd. Attainable atéinabal on Earth árth, Not by Our Merit mérat, but by the Goodness gúdnas of Our Lord lórd.

1. May our Lord lórd teach tích me words wárdz whereby werbái I may in some measure mézhar describe diskráib the fourth fórth water wótar. [1] I have great need of His help hélp—even more than I had while speaking spíking of the last; for in that the soul sóul still feels fílz that it is not dead déd altogether oltagédhar. We may thus dhás speak spík, seeing síing that to the world it is really dead déd. But, as I have said, [2] it retains ritéinz the sense séns to see that it is in the world, and to feel fíl its own loneliness lóunlinas; and it makes méiks use of that which is outward áutward for the purpose párpas of manifesting ménafesting its feelings fílingz, at least líst by signs sáinz. In the whole hóul of the prayer prér already olrédi spoken spóukan of, and in all the states stéits of it, the gardener gárdanar undergoes ándargouz some labour léibaur: though dhóu in the later léitar states stéits the labour léibaur is attended aténdad with so much bliss blís and comfort kámfart of the soul sóul, that the soul sóul would never willingly wílingli pass pés out of it,—and thus dhás the labour léibaur is not felt félt as labour léibaur, but as bliss blís.

2. In this the fourth fórth state stéit there is no sense séns of anything énithing, only fruition fruíshan, without understanding andarsténding what that is the fruition fruíshan of which is granted gréntad. It is understood andarstúd that the fruition fruíshan is of a certain sártan good containing kantéining in itself itsélf all good together tagédhar at once wáns; but this good is not comprehended kamprihéndid. The senses sénsiz are all occupied ákyapaid in this fruition fruíshan in such a way that not one of them is at liberty líbarti, so as to be able éibal to attend aténd to anything énithing else éls, whether wédhar outward áutward or inward ínward.

3. The senses sénsiz were permitted parmítad before, as I have said, [3] to give some signs sáinz of the great joy jói they feel fíl; but now, in this state stéit, the joy jói of the soul sóul is incomparably inkámparabli greater gréitar, and the power páuar of showing shóuing it is still less lés; for there is no power páuar in the body bádi, and the soul sóul has none nán, whereby werbái this fruition fruíshan can be made known nóun. Everything évrithing of that kind káind would be a great hindrance híndrans, a torment tórment, and a disturbance distárbans of its rest rést. And I say, if it really be a union yúnyan of all the faculties fékaltiz, that the soul sóul, even if it wished wísht,—I mean, when it is in union yúnyan,—cannot kénat make it known nóun; and if it can, then it is not union yúnyan at all.

4. How this, which we call kól union yúnyan, is effected iféktad, and what it is, I cannot kénat tell tél. Mystical místikal theology thiálaji explains ikspléinz it, and I do not know the terms tármz of that science sáians; nor nór can I understand andarsténd what the mind máind is, nor nór how it differs dífarz from the soul sóul or the spirit spírat either ídhar: all three seem sím to me but one; though dhóu I do know that the soul sóul sometimes samtáimz leaps líps forth fórth out of itself itsélf, like a fire fáiar that is burning bárning and is become bikám a flame fléim; and occasionally akéizhanali this fire fáiar increases inkrísaz violently váialantli—the flame fléim ascends aséndz high hái above abáv the fire fáiar; but it is not therefore dhérfor a different thing thíng: it is still the same flame fléim of the same fire fáiar. Your learning lárning, my fathers fádharz, will enable enéibal you to understand andarsténd the matter métar; I can go no further fárdhar.

5. What I undertake ándarteik to explain ikspléin is that which the soul sóul feels fílz when it is in the divine diváin union yúnyan. It is plain pléin enough ináf what union yúnyan is—two distinct distínkt things becoming bikáming one. O my Lord lórd, how good Thou dháu art árt! Blessed blést be Thou dháu for ever évar, O my God gád! Let lét all creatures krícharz praise préiz Thee dhí, Who hast hést so loved lávd us that we can truly trúli speak spík of this communication kamyunakéishan which Thou dháu hast hést with souls sóulz in this our exile égzail! Yea yéi, even if they be good souls sóulz, it is on Thy dhái part great munificence and magnanimity,—in a word wárd, it is Thy dhái munificence, O my Lord lórd, seeing síing that Thou dháu givest like Thyself. O infinite ínfanat Munificence!—how magnificent megnífasant are Thy dhái works wárks! Even he whose húz understanding andarsténding is not occupied ákyapaid with the things of earth árth is amazed améizd that he is unable anéibal to understand andarsténd these truths trúths. Why, then, give graces gréisiz so high hái to souls sóulz who have been such great sinners sínarz? Truly trúli, this passeth my understanding andarsténding; and when I come to think of it, I can get no further fárdhar. Is there any way at all for me to go on which is not a going back? For, as to giving gíving Thee dhí thanks thénks for mercies mársiz so great, I know not how to do it. Sometimes samtáimz I relieve rilív myself maisélf by giving gíving utterance átarans to follies fáliz. It often ófan happens hépanz to me, either ídhar when I receive rasív these graces gréisiz, or when God gád is about to bestow bistóu them,—for, in the midst mídst of them, I have already olrédi said, [4] I was able éibal to do nothing náthing,—that I would break bréik out into words wárdz like these.

6. O Lord lórd, consider kansídar what Thou dháu art árt doing dúing; forget fargét not so soon sún the great evils ívalz that I have done dán. To forgive fargív me, Thou dháu must already olrédi have forgotten fargátan them; yet yét, in order órdar that there may be some limit límat to Thy dhái graces gréisiz, I beseech bisích Thee dhí remember rimémbar them. O my Creator kriéitar, pour pór not a liquor líkar so precious préshas into a vessel vésal so broken bróukan; for Thou dháu hast hést already olrédi seen sín how on other occasions akéizhanz I allowed aláud it to run rán waste wéist. Lay léi not up treasure trézhar like this, where the longing lónging after the consolations kansaléishanz of this life is not so mortified mórtafaid as it ought ót to be; for it will be utterly átarli lost lóst. How canst Thou dháu commit kamít the defence diféns of the city síti, and the keys kíz of its fortress fórtras to a commander kaméndar so cowardly káuardli, who at the first assault asólt will let lét the enemy énami enter éntar within? Oh, let lét not Thy dhái love láv be so great, O King kíng Eternal itárnal, as to imperil impéral jewels júalz so precious préshas! O my Lord lórd, to me it seems símz that it becomes bikámz a ground gráund for undervaluing andarvélyuing them, when Thou dháu puttest them in the power páuar of one so wretched réchid, so vile váil, so frail fréil, so miserable mízarabal, and so worthless wárthlas as I am ém, who, though dhóu she may labour léibaur not to lose lúz them, by the help hélp of Thy dhái grace gréis,—and I have need of no little grace gréis for that end, being what I am ém,—is not able éibal to win wín over any one to Thee dhí,—in short shórt, I am ém a woman wúman, not good, but wicked wíkad. It seems símz to me that the talents télants are not only hidden hídan, but buried bérid, when they are committed kamítad to earth árth so vile váil. It is not Thy dhái wont wóunt, O Lord lórd, to bestow bistóu graces gréisiz and mercies mársiz like these upon apán a soul sóul, unless anlés it be that it may edify édafai many.

7. Thou dháu, O my God gád, knowest already olrédi that I beg bég this of Thee dhí with my whole hóul will, from the bottom bátam of my heart hárt, and that I have done dán so more than once wáns, and I account akáunt it a blessing blésing to lose lúz the greatest gréitast blessings blésingz which may be had on earth árth, if Thou dháu wouldst but bestow bistóu these graces gréisiz upon apán him who will make a better bétar use of them to the increase inkrís of Thy dhái glory glóri. These, and expressions ikspréshanz like these, it has happened hépand to me often ófan to utter átar. I saw afterwards éftarwardz my own foolishness fúlishnas and want of humility hyumíliti; for our Lord lórd knoweth well what is expedient ikspídiant, and that there is no strength strénkth in my soul sóul to be saved séivd, if His Majesty méjasti did not give it with graces gréisiz so great.

8. I purpose párpas also to speak spík of the graces gréisiz and effects ifékts which abide abáid in the soul sóul, and of that which the soul sóul itself itsélf can do, or rather rédhar, if it can do anything énithing of itself itsélf towards tawórdz attaining atéining to a state stéit so high hái. The elevation elavéishan of the spirit spírat, or union yúnyan, comes kámz together tagédhar with heavenly hévanli love láv but, as I understand andarsténd it, union yúnyan is a different thing thíng from elevation elavéishan in union yúnyan itself itsélf. To him who may not have had any experience ikspírians of the latter létar, it must seem sím that it is not; and, according akórding to my view vyú of it, even if they are both one, the operations aparéishanz of our Lord lórd therein dherín are different: there is a growth gróuth of the soul's sóul detachment ditéchmant from creatures krícharz more abundantly abándantli still in the flight fláit of the spirit spírat. [5] I have clearly klírli seen sín that this is a particular partíkyalar grace gréis, though dhóu, as I say, it may be the same, or seem sím to be so, with the other; but a little fire fáiar, also, is as much fire fáiar as a great fire fáiar—and yet yét there is a visible vízabal difference dífarans between them. Before a small piece pís of iron áiarn is made red-hot rédhát in a little fire fáiar, some time must pass pés; but if the fire fáiar be great, the iron áiarn very quickly kwíkli, though dhóu bulky bálki, loses lúzaz its nature néichar altogether oltagédhar in appearance apírans.

9. So, it seems símz to me, is it with these two kinds káindz of graces gréisiz which our Lord lórd bestows bistóuz. He who has had raptures will, I am ém sure shúr, understand andarsténd it well; to him who has not had that experience ikspírians, it must appear apír folly fáli. And, indeed indíd, it may well be so; for if a person pársan like myself maisélf should speak spík of a matter métar of this kind káind, and give any explanation eksplanéishan at all of that for the description diskrípshan of which no words wárdz ever évar can possibly pásabli be found, it is not to be wondered wándard at that I may be speaking spíking foolishly fúlishli.

10. But I have this confidence kánfadans in our Lord lórd, that He will help hélp me here; for His Majesty méjasti knoweth that my object ábjekt in writing ráiting—the first is to obey oubéi—is to inspire inspáir souls sóulz with a longing lónging after so high hái a good. I will speak spík of nothing náthing that I do not know by great experience ikspírians: and so, when I began bigén to describe diskráib the last kind káind of water wótar, I thought it more impossible impásabal for me to speak spík of it at all than to speak spík Greek grík. It is a very difficult dífakalt matter métar; so I left it, and went to Communion kamyúnyan. Blessed blést be our Lord lórd, who is merciful mársifal to the ignorant ígnarant! Oh, virtue várchu of obedience oubídians! it can do everything évrithing! God gád enlightened enláitand my understanding andarsténding—at one time suggesting sagjésting the words wárdz, at another showing shóuing me how to use them; for, as in the preceding prisíding state stéit of prayer prér, so also now, His Majesty méjasti seems símz to utter átar what I can neither nídhar speak spík nor nór understand andarsténd. [6]

11. What I am ém saying séiing is the simple símpal truth trúth; and therefore dhérfor whatever watévar is good herein hirín is His teaching tíching; what is erroneous eróunias, clearly klírli comes kámz out of that sea of evil íval—myself maisélf. If there be any—and there must be many—who, having héving attained atéind to these states stéits of prayer prér whereunto our Lord lórd in His mercy mársi has brought brót me—wretch that I am ém!—and who, thinking thínking they have missed míst their way, desire dizáiar to treat trít of these matters métarz with me, I am ém sure shúr that our Lord lórd will help hélp His servant sárvant to declare diklér the truth trúth more plainly pléinli.

12. I am ém now speaking spíking of the water wótar which cometh kámith down from heaven hévan to fill fíl and saturate séchareit in its abundance abándans the whole hóul of this garden gárdan with water wótar. If our Lord lórd never ceased síst to pour pór it down whenever wenévar it was necessary nésaseri, the gardener gárdanar certainly sártanli would have plenty plénti of rest rést; and if there were no winter wíntar, but an ever évar temperate témprat season sízan, fruits frúts and flowers fláuarz would never fail féil. The gardener gárdanar would have his delight diláit therein dherín; but in this life that is impossible impásabal. We must always be careful kérfal, when one water wótar fails féilz, to obtain abtéin another. This water wótar from heaven hévan comes kámz down very often ófan when the gardener gárdanar least líst expects ikspékts it.

13. The truth trúth is that, in the beginning bigíning, this almost ólmoust always happens hépanz after much mental méntal prayer prér. Our Lord lórd advances advénsaz step stép by step stép to lay léi hold hóuld of the little bird bárd, and to lay léi it in the nest nést where it may repose ripóuz. He observed abzárvd it fluttering flátaring for a long time, striving stráiving with the understanding andarsténding and the will, and with all its might, to seek sík God gád and to please plíz Him; so now it is His pleasure plézhar to reward riwórd it even in this life. And what a reward riwórd!—one moment móumant is enough ináf to repay ripéi all the possible pásabal trials tráialz of this life.

14. The soul sóul, while thus dhás seeking síking after God gád, is conscious kánshas, with a joy jói excessive iksésiv and sweet swít, that it is, as it were, utterly átarli fainting féinting away awéi in a kind káind of trance tréns: breathing brídhing, and all the bodily bádali strength strénkth, fail féil it, so that it cannot kénat even move múv the hands héndz without great pain péin; the eyes áiz close klóus involuntarily invoulántarili, and if they are open óupan, they are as if they saw nothing náthing; nor nór is reading réding possible pásabal,—the very letters létarz seem sím strange stréinj, and cannot kénat be distinguished distíngwisht,—the letters létarz, indeed indíd, are visible vízabal, but, as the understanding andarsténding furnishes fárnishiz no help hélp, all reading réding is impracticable impréktikabal, though dhóu seriously síriasli attempted atémptad. The ear ír hears hírz; but what is heard hárd is not comprehended kamprihéndid. The senses sénsiz are of no use whatever watévar, except iksépt to hinder híndar the soul's sóul fruition fruíshan; and so they rather rédhar hurt hárt it. It is useless yúslas to try trái to speak spík, because it is not possible pásabal to conceive kansív a word wárd; nor nór, if it were conceived kansívd, is there strength strénkth sufficient safíshant to utter átar it; for all bodily bádali strength strénkth vanishes vénishiz, and that of the soul sóul increases inkrísaz, to enable enéibal it the better bétar to have the fruition fruíshan of its joy jói. Great and most perceptible parséptabal, also, is the outward áutward joy jói now felt félt.

15. This prayer prér, however long it may last, does no harm hárm—at least líst, it has never done dán any to me; nor nór do I remember rimémbar, however ill íl I might have been when our Lord lórd had mercy mársi upon apán me in this way, that I ever évar felt félt the worse wárs for it—on the contrary kántreri, I was always better bétar afterwards éftarwardz. But so great a blessing blésing, what harm hárm can it do? The outward áutward effects ifékts are so plain pléin as to leave lív no doubt dáut possible pásabal that there must have been some great cause káz, seeing síing that it thus dhás robs rábz us of our bodily bádali powers páuarz with so much joy jói, in order órdar to leave lív them greater gréitar.

16. The truth trúth is, it passes pésaz away awéi so quickly kwíkli in the beginning bigíning—at least líst, so it was with me—that neither nídhar by the outward áutward signs sáinz, nor nór by the failure féilyar of the senses sénsiz, can it be perceived parsívd when it passes pésaz so quickly kwíkli away awéi. But it is plain pléin, from the overflowing óuvarflouing abundance abándans of grace gréis, that the brightness bráitnas of the sun sán which had shone shóun there must have been great, seeing síing that it has thus dhás made the soul sóul to melt mélt away awéi. And this is to be considered kansídard; for, as it seems símz to me, the period píriad of time, however long it may have been, during which the faculties fékaltiz of the soul sóul were entranced intrénst, is very short shórt; if half héf an hour áuar, that would be a long time. I do not think that I have ever évar been so long. [7] The truth trúth of the matter métar is this: it is extremely ekstrímli difficult dífakalt to know how long, because the senses sénsiz are in suspense saspéns; but I think that at any time it cannot kénat be very long before some one of the faculties fékaltiz recovers rikávarz itself itsélf. It is the will that persists parsísts in the work; the other two faculties fékaltiz quickly kwíkli begin bigín to molest malést it. As the will is calm kám, it entrances éntransaz them again; they are quiet kwáiat for another moment móumant, and then they recover rikávar themselves dhemsélvz once wáns more.

17. In this way, some hours áuarz may be, and are, passed pést in prayer prér; for when the two faculties fékaltiz begin bigín to drink drínk deep díp, and to perceive parsív the taste téist of this divine diváin wine wáin, they give themselves dhemsélvz up with great readiness rédinas, in order órdar to be the more absorbed abzórbd: they follow fálou the will, and the three rejoice rijóis together tagédhar. But this state stéit of complete kamplít absorption abzórpshan, together tagédhar with the utter átar rest rést of the imagination imejanéishan,—for I believe bilív that even the imagination imejanéishan is then wholly hóuli at rest rést,—lasts lésts only for a short shórt time; though dhóu the faculties fékaltiz do not so completely kamplítli recover rikávar themselves dhemsélvz as not to be for some hours áuarz afterwards éftarwardz as if in disorder disórdar: God gád, from time to time, drawing dróing them to Himself himsélf.

18. Let lét us now come to that which the soul sóul feels fílz interiorly. Let lét him describe diskráib it who knows nóuz it; for as it is impossible impásabal to understand andarsténd it, much more is it so to describe diskráib it. When I purposed to write ráit this, I had just communicated kamyúnakeitid, and had risen rízan from the very prayer prér of which I am ém speaking spíking. I am ém thinking thínking of what the soul sóul was then doing dúing. Our Lord lórd said to me: It undoes itself itsélf utterly átarli, My daughter dótar, in order órdar that it may give itself itsélf more and more to Me: it is not itself itsélf that then lives lívz, it is I. As it cannot kénat comprehend kamprihénd what it understands andarsténdz, it understands andarsténdz by not understanding andarsténding. [8]

19. He who has had experience ikspírians of this will understand andarsténd it in some measure mézhar, for it cannot kénat be more clearly klírli described diskráibd, because what then takes téiks place is so obscure abskyúr. All I am ém able éibal to say is, that the soul sóul is represented reprazéntad as being close klóus to God gád; and that there abides abáidz a conviction kanvíkshan thereof dheráv so certain sártan and strong stróng, that it cannot kénat possibly pásabli help hélp believing bilíving so. All the faculties fékaltiz fail féil now, and are suspended saspéndad in such a way that, as I said before, [9] their operations aparéishanz cannot kénat be traced tréist. If the soul sóul is making méiking a meditation medatéishan on any subject sabjékt, the memory mémari of it is lost lóst at once wáns, just as if it had never been thought of. If it reads rídz, what is read réd is not remembered rimémbard nor nór dwelt dwélt upon apán; neither nídhar is it otherwise ádharwaiz with vocal vóukal prayer prér. Accordingly akórdingli, the restless réstlas little butterfly bátarflai of the memory mémari has its wings wíngz burnt bárnt now, and it cannot kénat fly flái. The will must be fully fúli occupied ákyapaid in loving láving, but it understands andarsténdz not how it loves lávz; the understanding andarsténding, if it understands andarsténdz, does not understand andarsténd how it understands andarsténdz—at least líst, it can comprehend kamprihénd nothing náthing of that it understands andarsténdz: it does not understand andarsténd, as it seems símz to me, because, as I said just now, this cannot kénat be understood andarstúd. I do not understand andarsténd it at all myself maisélf.

20. In the beginning bigíning, it happened hépand to me that I was ignorant ígnarant of one thing thíng—I did not know that God gád was in all things: [10] and when He seemed símd to me to be so near nír, I thought it impossible impásabal. Not to believe bilív that He was present prézant, was not in my power páuar; for it seemed símd to me, as it were, evident évadant that I felt félt there His very presence prézans. Some unlearned men mén used to say to me, that He was present prézant only by His grace gréis. I could not believe bilív that, because, as I am ém saying séiing, He seemed símd to me to be present prézant Himself himsélf: so I was distressed distrést. A most learned lárnd man, of the Order órdar of the glorious glórias Patriarch péitriark St strít. Dominic dámanik, delivered dilívard me from this doubt dáut; for he told tóuld me that He was present prézant, and how He communed with us: this was a great comfort kámfart to me.

21. It is to be observed abzárvd and understood andarstúd that this water wótar from heaven hévan,—this greatest gréitast grace gréis of our Lord lórd—always leaves lívz in the soul sóul the greatest gréitast fruits frúts, as I shall shél now show shóu.

1. See ch. xi shí. section sékshan 11.

2. Ch. xvi. sections sékshanz 7, 8.

3. Ch. xvii. section sékshan 5.

4. Section sékshan 3.

5. See ch. xx. section sékshan 10; and Relation riléishan, viii. section sékshan 10.

6. See ch. xiv. section sékshan 12.

7. See Anton énton. a Sp. Sancto, Director daréktar. Mystic místik. tr. iv. section sékshan 9, n. 72.

8. Thomas támas a Jesu, De Contemplatione Divina, lib líb. v. c. xiii.: "Quasi kwási dicat: cum kám intellectus non nán possit Dei immensam illam claritatem et ét incomprehensibilem plenitudinem comprehendere, hoc hák ipsum est astéit illam conspicere ac éisí intelligere, intelligere se sauthíst non nán posse pási intellectu cognoscere: quod quidem nihil aliud est astéit quam kwám Deum sub sáb ratione incomprehensibilitatis videre ac éisí cognoscere."

Philip fílap. a SS. Trinitate, Theolog. Mystic místik. Disc dísk. Proem. art árt. iv. p. 6: "Cum kám ipsa [S. Teresa tarísa] scire sáir vellet, quid kwíd in illa mystica unione operaretur intellectus, respondit [Christus] illi, cum kám non nán possit comprehendere quod intelligit, est astéit non nán intelligere intelligendo: tum quia prae claritate nimia quodammodo offuscatur intellectus, unde prae altissima et ét supereminentissima Dei cognitione videtur anima potius Deum ignorare quam kwám cognoscere."

9. Ch. x. section sékshan 1, and ch. xviii. section sékshan 16.

10. See Inner ínar Fortress fórtras, v. ch. i. section sékshan 11.

Chapter chéptar XIX.

The Effects ifékts of This Fourth fórth State stéit of Prayer prér. Earnest árnist Exhortations egzortéishanz to Those Who Have Attained atéind to It Not to Go Back, Nor nór to Cease sís from Prayer prér, Even if They Fall fól. The Great Calamity kalémati of Going Back.

1. There remains riméinz in the soul sóul, when the prayer prér of union yúnyan is over, an exceedingly iksídingli great tenderness téndarnas; so much so, that it would undo andú itself itsélf—not from pain péin, but through tears térz of joy jói it finds fáindz itself itsélf bathed béidhd therein dherín, without being aware awér of it, and it knows nóuz not how or when it wept wépt them. But to behold bihóuld the violence váialans of the fire fáiar subdued sabdúd by the water wótar, which yet yét makes méiks it burn bárn the more, gives gívz it great delight diláit. It seems símz as if I were speaking spíking an unknown annóun language léngwaj. So it is, however.

2. It has happened hépand to me occasionally akéizhanali, when this prayer prér was over, to be so beside bisáid myself maisélf as not to know whether wédhar I had been dreaming dríming, or whether wédhar the bliss blís I felt félt had really been mine máin; and, on finding fáinding myself maisélf in a flood flád of tears térz—which had painlessly péinlasli flowed flóud, with such violence váialans and rapidity rapídati that it seemed símd as if a cloud kláud from heaven hévan [1] had shed shéd them—to perceive parsív that it was no dream drím. Thus dhás it was with me in the beginning bigíning, when it passed pést quickly kwíkli away awéi. The soul sóul remains riméinz possessed pazést of so much courage káraj, that if it were now hewn hyún in pieces písaz for God gád, it would be a great consolation kansaléishan to it. This is the time of resolutions rezalúshanz, of heroic hiróuik determinations ditarminéishanz, of the living líving energy énarji of good desires dizáiarz, of the beginning bigíning of hatred héitrad of the world, and of the most clear klír perception parsépshan of its vanity vénati. The soul sóul makes méiks greater gréitar and higher háiar progress prágres than it ever évar made before in the previous prívias states stéits of prayer prér; and grows gróuz in humility hyumíliti more and more, because it sees síz clearly klírli that neither nídhar for obtaining abtéining nor nór for retaining ritéining this grace gréis, great beyond biánd all measure mézhar, has it ever évar done dán, or ever évar been able éibal to do, anything énithing of itself itsélf. It looks lúks upon apán itself itsélf as most unworthy anwárdhi—for in a room rúm into which the sunlight sánlait enters éntarz strongly stróngli, not a cobweb kábweb can be hid híd; it sees síz its own misery mízari; self-conceit sélf-kansít is so far fár away awéi, that it seems símz as if it never could have had any—for now its own eyes áiz behold bihóuld how very little it could ever évar do, or rather rédhar, that it never did anything énithing, that it hardly hárdli gave géiv even its own consent kansént, but that it rather rédhar seemed símd as if the doors dórz of the senses sénsiz were closed klóuzd against its will in order órdar that it might have more abundantly abándantli the fruition fruíshan of our Lord lórd. It is abiding abáiding alone alóun with Him: what has it to do but to love láv Him? It neither nídhar sees síz nor nór hears hírz, unless anlés on compulsion kampálshan: no thanks thénks to it. Its past pést life stands sténdz before it then, together tagédhar with the great mercy mársi of God gád, in great distinctness; and it is not necessary nésaseri for it to go forth fórth to hunt hánt with the understanding andarsténding, because what it has to eat ít and ruminate rúmineit upon apán, it sees síz now ready rédi prepared pripérd. It sees síz, so far fár as itself itsélf is concerned kansárnd, that it has deserved dizárvd hell hél, and that its punishment pánishmant is bliss blís. It undoes itself itsélf in the praises préizaz of God gád, and I would gladly glédli undo andú myself maisélf now.

3. Blessed blést be Thou dháu, O my Lord lórd, who, out of a pool púl so filthy fílthi as I am ém, bringest forth fórth water wótar so clean klín as to be meet mít for Thy dhái table téibal! Praised préizd be Thou dháu, O Joy jói of the Angels éinjalz, who hast hést been thus dhás pleased plízd to exalt igzólt so vile váil a worm wárm!

4. The good effects ifékts of this prayer prér abide abáid in the soul sóul for some time. Now that it clearly klírli apprehends that the fruit frút is not its own, the soul sóul can begin bigín to share shér it with others ádharz, and that without any loss lós to itself itsélf. It begins bigínz to show shóu signs sáinz of its being a soul sóul that is guarding gárding the treasures trézharz of heaven hévan, and to be desirous dizáiras of communicating kamyúnakeiting them to others ádharz, [2] and to pray préi to God gád that itself itsélf may not be the only soul sóul that is rich rích in them. It begins bigínz to benefit bénafit its neighbours, as it were, without being aware awér of it, or doing dúing anything énithing consciously kánshasli: its neighbours understand andarsténd the matter métar, because the odour of the flowers fláuarz has grown gróun so strong stróng as to make them eager ígar to approach apróuch them. They understand andarsténd that this soul sóul is full fúl of virtue várchu: they see the fruit frút, how delicious dilíshas it is, and they wish wísh to help hélp that soul sóul to eat ít it.

5. If this ground gráund be well dug dág by troubles trábalz, by persecutions parsakyúshans, detractions, and infirmities infármitiz,—they are few who ascend asénd so high hái without this,—if it be well broken bróukan up by great detachment ditéchmant from all self-interest sélf-íntrast, it will drink drínk in so much water wótar that it can hardly hárdli ever évar be parched párcht again. But if it be ground gráund which is mere mír waste wéist, and covered kávard with thorns thórnz (as I was when I began bigén); if the occasions akéizhanz of sin sín be not avoided avóidad; if it be an ungrateful angréitfal soil sóil, unfitted for so great a grace gréis,—it will be parched párcht up again. If the gardener gárdanar become bikám careless kérlas,—and if our Lord lórd, out of His mere mír goodness gúdnas, will not send sénd down rain réin upon apán it,—the garden gárdan is ruined rúand. Thus dhás has it been with me more than once wáns, so that I am ém amazed améizd at it; and if I had not found it so by experience ikspírians, I could not have believed bilívd it.

6. I write ráit this for the comfort kámfart of souls sóulz which are weak wík, as I am ém, that they may never despair dispér, nor nór cease sís to trust trást in the power páuar of God gád; even if they should fall fól after our Lord lórd has raised réizd them to so high hái a degree digrí of prayer prér as this is, they must not be discouraged diskárajd, unless anlés they would lose lúz themselves dhemsélvz utterly átarli. Tears térz gain géin everything évrithing, and one drop dráp of water wótar attracts atrékts another.

7. One of the reasons rízanz that move múv me, who am ém what I am ém, under obedience oubídians to write ráit this, and give an account akáunt of my wretched réchid life, and of the graces gréisiz our Lord lórd has wrought rót in me,—though dhóu I never served sárvd Him, but offended aféndad Him rather rédhar,—is what I have just given: and, certainly sártanli, I wish wísh I was a person pársan of great authority athórati, that people might believe bilív what I say. I pray préi to our Lord lórd that His Majesty méjasti would be pleased plízd to grant grént me this grace gréis. I repeat ripít it, let lét no one who has begun bigán to give himself himsélf to prayer prér be discouraged diskárajd, and say: If I fall fól into sin sín, it will be worse wárs for me if I go on now with the practice préktas of prayer prér. I think so too, if he gives gívz up prayer prér, and does not correct karékt his evil íval ways wéiz; but if he does not give up prayer prér, let lét him be assured ashúrd of this—prayer prér will bring bríng him to the haven héivan of light láit.

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